A.N.Y. Questions... Who's talking NOW??? (Question #28)

Do you encourage others to bring their troubles to you for sympathy?

Once upon a time there was a girl who really cared about other people but she was curse. When someone triggered sympathy in her she couldn't stop talking. She loved people and wanted to help them but she addressed their issue quickly for the other person then immediately started to talk about herself. The poor listener soon was wrapped up in her stories and wondered if she was ever going to shut up. Hints they made saying she monopolized the conversation were ineffective until finally one friend said to her, "Wow you like to talk alot". The girl recoiled and felt the truth in those words but did what any girl would do; sulked and withdrew.

When truth hits you right between the eyes, the first response it to deny it. She justified that her friends were just jealous for she was a fantastic storyteller and made people laugh. The friends that had made the hints were quieter people so this justification was a quick bandaid to the situation. "I'll show them", she thought. I'll pull away and soon they will miss me. Days went by and the bravado started to fade because nothing happened. No one came crawling back to her nor begged her to talk. In fact, no one even noticed she stopped talking. What was going on ? Insecurities began to rage and she wondered if she ruined the relationships with her verbal diarrhea. It became apparent that friends stopped asking her over because there was no such thing as a short visit just a sermon. The realization and admittance that she did talk too much hit her right in the forehead.

Truth has a way of making a point by displaying little snippets of memories designed to give you proper perspective. She saw incidents where she knowingly half listened to her friends because she was focusing on her chance to pounce on them with another story of her own. She also saw the times she interrupted them to draw them back to the story she was telling. What really struck her heart was the recall of the "there she goes again" looks on her their faces. The illusion was over and so was the denial; she was selfish with her words. But like with every habit, a simple acknowledgement is not enough. It's the necessary start but now the fun begins.

There is now a little voice in my head that goes off when I feel like I am monopolizing a conversation. I purposely stop what I'm saying and try to draw my listener out to share more. I try to limit my answers to their questions so that they can continue speaking. Better yet, it finally dawned on me that if you ask them a question about their situation they can find out the solution for themselves. What a concept!! Have I mastered that? Heavens no, but it's a beginning. Imagine that, people will want to come and talk to me in order for me to ask them questions that they answer themselves. I talk less; they think more and the lectures stop. BRILLIANT!

Did this response resonate with you? I would love to hear your take on the question and how it impacted you. Please post your thoughts below.

On January first, I posted our first article in this series explaining a new way to approach New Year's resolutions. Each day we will explore a different question that challenges us to understand ourselves better. The format will be as follows: I will post the previous day's question with my answer followed by the next day's question for contemplation.

Tomorrow's question: Do you accept responsibility for problems??

Response posted tomorrow.

Who is the Common Guru? Here is our introductory article
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