Does your presence have a negative influence on others?

Grandma... the PILL

My ex husband's grandmother was a real pill. She would say the most vile hurtful things and felt justified in doing so because she was saying the truth. Well, her truth anyways. There was no consideration of the audience or the circumstances surrounding the conversation. By speaking the truth, she believed she was not responsible for how it impacted the receiver. If they deserved to hear it all the better. Her family loved her based on the fact she was their mother but that was about all for she was all prickles and stings. We have all felt the sting of being around someone who says it like it is. When I read this question I wondered if speaking the truth can have a negative influence on others. The grandmother mentioned above sure did.

Teflon truth

One of the most annoying people to be around are those who think they have just came down from the mountain and deign us with their presence. These are the self-appointed enlightened ones who have worn butt prints in the seats of the seminars, workshops or pews they have participated in. They can spew their knowledge at the drop of a hat and take no responsibility for the receiver's emotional response. For you see, they are simply a representative of what needs to be healed and the greater the response the greater the issue. You're welcome! They walk away from the exchange feeling elated for this is interpreted as helping by creating the reaction; it is a gift to help you address your problems. What help are they giving exactly? It's like telling someone they are dying of poison but don't support the one being poisoned or help find the antidote.

Speaking the truth is a necessary act but one vital aspect is usually missing; the truth must be spoken in love. Rarely is love or being harmless the motive behind the message. Instead we usually have our own personal agenda in mind for we "twist the knife" to make our point. Don't think that this post is not an awakening for me the writer as well. I am surrounded by people wounded by truth yielding sword because I thought I was doing good. Do you know what I accomplished? The receiver instead got wrapped up in my delivery instead of hearing the well intended message. It was then all about me and how rude or hurtful I was, little attention was given to what I was trying to say. I missed the mark completely. Don't think that people will run into your arms in thanks when you speak the truth. That's wishful thinking but there is more likely a chance of the truth resonating and producing change for the ownness of the reaction is on them.

Truth be told

I had this exact conversation with a friend of mine for she was upsetting everyone around her with her comments. She said that the reaction they had was their responsibility for if they got upset it was something they needed to look at within themselves. I was flabbergasted for some of her comments were just plain rude. Since then I have been conscious of truth speaking but I still have an incredibly long way to go. I have not been harmless in my approach and I need to turn this around even though it feels like turning the Titanic. I need to investigate better ways of conveying truth that are long-lasting and welcomed. Imagine how the world could be if truth is heard in a way that produces positive change; a world I would want to live in.

Did this response resonate with you? I would love to hear your take on the question and how it impacted you. Please post your thoughts below.

On January first, I posted our first article in this series explaining a new way to approach New Year's resolutions. Each day we will explore a different question that challenges us to understand ourselves better. The format will be as follows: I will post the previous day's question with my answer followed by the next day's question for contemplation.

Tomorrow's question: Can you name your three most damaging weaknesses and explain what you are doing to combat them??

Response posted tomorrow.

Who is the Common Guru? Here is our introductory article
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