Marfinkel Industries - Employee Handbook - Page 1

Greetings hireling!

Congratulations on your recent employment with Marfinkel Industries. This guide serves as not only a friendly welcome (see above), but also a handy tool to help you survive your new position.

Welcome to facility 16! Facility 16 is the 3rd branch office of Marfinkel Industries, and your new home. Spanning 600 square miles, mostly underground, facility 16 is a BIG place. Worry not hireling, our brilliant team of engineers have you covered! By utilizing our patented method of teleportation, The Marfinkel Sling, you'll never need to worry about being late to the office again! (hirelings not provided offices, see section 'Accommodations'). Have questions, such as, "Has anyone ever died from this?", "Is limb relocation reversible?", "Are accidents covered under the company health policy?", or "Why can I see that? I shouldn't be able to see that, dear god that should be inside.", please see section <SECTION REDACTED> for answers.

Facility 16 is home to thousands of workers, many of which hirelings just like you! (see section 'Average Life Expectancy', subsection 'Hirelings'). Interactions between employees is bound to happen at some point, and Marfinkel Industries takes our code of conduct very seriously. (see section 'Common Catastrophes', subsection 'Flemwrathian Neuron Noodle Worms'). Remember, to keep your brain matter from being lunch, keep contact to a miminum. If you see another employee acting strangly, please report it! If you see a stream of tenticles ripping their way out of the base of one's skull, please exterminate them! (see section 'Employee Rights', subsection 'Medical Emergencies').

Here at Marfinkel Industries we have a wide variety of projects in development. You may find yourself working in unfamiliar environments and conditions. Being versatile is key! Find yourself stranded in a parallel dimension and worried about the terrifying creatures looking at you like midnight snack? Keep you cool, there's bound to be an answer somewhere! Wake up from sleep missing a significant portion of your face? Fear not, that doesn't happen nearly as often as you may think and it's usually regrowable! Think quick on your feet, if you've already lost your feet please try harder!

Please see page 2 for further details of your new responsibilities as a Marfinkel hireling!