The 8th [Short Thriller Story]
"Nuria, walk faster!" - screamed the old man to his daughter. They were late for the doctor's appointment and Junior wanted to know if he was finally free of cancer. The doctor's office was in the 10th floor and only 1 elevator was working, taking the stairs was not an option... he was too old to walk all those floors. Finally the elevator opened and to their luck they were the only ones waiting for it.
The 8 years old girl pressed the 8th floor button and the old man got angry at her "Why are you making me waste my time you dumb ass?! You and your stupid obsession with number 8! I'm so tired of you, piece of shit!" Junior never treated his daughter with love, she was the reminder of his one night stand with a junkie woman who left the child in his door one day. The elevator opened in the 8th floor and Nuria got out, she run throught the long hall while Junior screamed his lungs out cursing the kid. "I said come here, dammit! Oh, you're not coming? Fine, stay here! I wish you get lost and never come back!" The man kept pressing the "close door" button but nothing happened, the elevator was stucked in there and he needed to go.
He was just 2 floors away from the place he needed to be so he walked throught the floor trying to find the stairs. "Welcome to the 8th floor daddy!" a grotesque voice said. Junior looked everywhere but there was no one in there. "Nuria, come out wherever you are. I don't have time for this shit!"... the echo of those words bounced in the walls of the long cold hall. The place was empty, there was nothing... no people, no furniture... just white walls in a long hall. "Daaaaadyyyy... do you want to play a game with me?" said the creepy voice...
"Who's there?" screamed the old man followed by several curses, "I swear to God"... the lights behind him started to go out. One by one the lights where turning off toc, toc, toc, toc the sound of the lights being turned off was driving the man insane. He started to walk faster, the darkness was getting closer. "Daaaaadyyyyy, I'm gonna catch you!" The voice got into the man's skin making him tremble in fear, he needed to find the stairs and get out of there.
The hall started to get longer and longer, it looked like it didn't had an end... then all the lights were gone and the darkness took over the place. "Daddy, why are you running away from me?" said Nuria within the shadows. The old man felt relieved in finally listening to a voice he knew.
"Come here kid, we have to stay close and find the way out of here."
"Why do you wanna get out of here daddy? I'm home now?"
"Stop saying stupid things and come here now, dammit!"
"Daddy, I'm hungry!"
Junior's heart froze for a second. Those last words made his entire body shake. The girl took her dad's hand and he felt relieved. He wasn't alone there and it was all that was helping him to not fall into panic. A faint beam of light covered the girl, the sight of the lovely girl made the man felt much better, it was the first time in his life he was happy to see his daughter. "Daddy, I said I'm hungry".... the creepy voice got out of the kid, Junior let go of Nuria's hand and started to run away.
"Do you know what day is today, daddy? Today is the 8th day of the 8th month, its 8 o'clock and we're in the 8th floor... my home! You can't escape daddy, there's nowhere to go. I'm hungry daddy!"
"Leave me alone you creep!"
"I'm hungry daddy!"
"What do you want from me?!"
"I'm hungry daddy!"
"I don't have food with me, leave me alone!"
"Don't be silly daddy! You're the food!"
The man kept running, he couldn't see anything but he needed to get out of the place. That wasn't his child... or maybe it was her, she had always acted weird. "A demon, that kid is a demon" was the only thing in his mind while running for his life. Junior always hated her but now he was afraid of her, very afraid. "Daddy, I got you!" said the awful voice, the man was paralyzed he couldn't move or speak.
"I thank you lord for the food in front of me"... said the girl like her grandma taught her. "You should pray too daddy, this is gonna hurt".... the echoes of the old man screaming filled the entire place, then all was dark and cold.
An annoying music started to play. Junior was standing in the middle of the elevator paralyzed. Did he imagined all that? Did he felt asleep while they were on the elevator? He felt relieved that all the agonizing pain stopped, he even felt happy his little kid was human and next to him. Then the door of the elevator opened, Nuria stepped out and said "Daddy, today is the 8th day of the 8th month, its 8 o'clock and we're in the 8th floor"... Junior looked with horror the little kid that was standing in front of him. "Daddy, I'm hungry!"
This is also my entry for #monomad challenge by @monochromes
https://discord.gg/YhpBF8
Vote for @qurator as a Witness HERE
Just type qurator in the box!
Hola amiga @blacklux, pasando a saludar y desearte un feliz fin de semana.
Hola! Ahora mismo estaba en tu perfil viendo la foto del arbol jejeje
Very nice story, a non ending never ending nightmare that won't go away. He should have loved his little girl instead of all the hate and anger. I guess the little girl finally got some thing to eat and ate fine at eight o'clock.
The eight represents the infinite and the never ending, now the old man have to live forever inside a nightmare 😅
Sreaaaaaaam ! ♬
꺄아아아아아아~아~앙~!
Posted using Partiko Android
크헙~ ㅋㅋ
Posted using Partiko Android
Hi blacklux,
Visit curiesteem.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! Thanks a lot! :)
The story felt so realistic when I was riding each word. Great ending scene with the number eight.
Thank you for sharing this story with the community.
Peace
Thank you! I'm glad you like it! :)
Very well written, simple started with usually normal life scene, but slowly became weird. While reading I started to feel a tension in me, suspicion of something unusual to come, it is like in a real psychothriller, it may be not scary but when author manages to keep the people under tension and in waiting for something unavoidable that is the master piece of great thriller authors. You story has it, like that effect and especially the open end, so that the people just create their own ending in their mind. Great writing!
Thank you! I like to left the ending open so people can end it the way they want :)
Hi @blacklux!
Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your UA account score is currently 3.691 which ranks you at #5263 across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has improved 175 places in the last three days (old rank 5438).
In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 192 contributions, your post is ranked at #27.
Evaluation of your UA score:
Feel free to join our @steem-ua Discord server
Great story. I was eating my snack of peanuts at light speed, as things kept getting more and more tense. I like the use of the infinity 8, and the never ending cycle they headed into. Maybe he'll be a nicer man from now on. I'm thinking it's a bit too late for that. Congrats on the Curie. Well deserved. Hope your day is not too hot, and whatever you do, STAY OUT OF THE ELEVATOR...
Ahahaha I don't wanna go to an 8th floor for a while! 😅
It shall soon become like the 13th, there just won't be one. Which is probably a good thing, as least in BLux Land.