Original story (Inkheart). The Diary of Miriandrys Rosal Chapter II
Good friends here I bring you the second chapter I hope you like it.
This is a continuation of a story to see it from its beginnings go to this link.
Chapter II -----------------
It's 8:00 a.m. and I see everything as normal, I follow my usual routine, when I get up, I only bathe not only to refresh my body, but also to refresh my soul in an incredible way.
I put on my favorite clothes and walk to the kitchen to make breakfast, again, doing the same thing is what makes my life less interesting, I go out to college and everything is the same, the kids I see, my friendships, among other things that can make us happy, but, really, it's not what I'm looking for.
I am a student of Sociology and until then, by the fifth semester of my career, I am beginning to notice how wonderful it is to think differently, sometimes I think that in this career you have to be brainwashed very well, although, with me they have not yet succeeded.
After I return from college, I head home, where lunch is waiting for me and the work is certainly noticeable. I don't have many friends as some people who know me commonly think, just because I am cheerful and accessible to conversations.
The truth is, I have nothing interesting to do with my life, there are many times that I have considered suicide to stop this routine that is consuming my soul, but then I remember what I read in a book, where I said that suicide itself, does not take the person anywhere, only to a box where it will be in a hole forever until the bones are completely degraded and use that for someone else.
In little sentences, I describe to you who I really am, a girl who has had her heart broken twice, and she doesn't want it to happen a third time. The man I thought was the love of my life GO! Crazy mania about telling the person you loved "The Love Of Your Life. Well, I thought I was the only man he was gonna have forever.
I believed this until the suspicions of lies and deceit began, among other things that made me doubt love, and it is there, at that moment that jealousy began, which often makes people sick and makes them tired. If you want my advice: Never show that you are jealous until you have a basis for what you suspect.
For several months I was investigating everything that was going on. I wouldn't notice this if that man hadn't changed drastically with me, from being a concerned, attentive, caring person, full of affection for what I consider cold in a relationship.
I searched by all means with the person who was cheating on me and I could not conclude with a specific person, but there were other girls who were looking for him. Many women will say, the only person who can have it is ME, but, if it were mine, it was moving away.
Love, as time went on, began to cool down, the fights were getting louder and louder, we always ended up not speaking to each other until one of us gave our arm to twist and at that moment we returned to our happy lives and a newly built relationship.
Although, for a moment it was all quiet, he didn't go out every day anymore, he stayed with me and let me have information about who was writing to him and who wasn't, I decided to wait and also observe all the actions I took every day. I had already learned a little more about doing this kind of research, thanks to my career.
I came to the conclusion that everything was happening and I realized that there was a woman, where she was including us in a love triangle, a circle that had become vicious and besides that, she was putting our minds square as if they were blockages so that you wouldn't think before acting.
Although, I'm telling you the worst part of my story, I want you to consider how it all happened. All those moments I could have lived with that person were not only tears, they were also laughter and full of adventures.
In 2015, specifically in the month of September was that I met Carlos, where I only saw him as a friend, in that same year but by October was that we started one of the most splendid adventures that can be when you are in love.
At that time I was seeing everything rosy, because I had no suspicion that he was going to cheat on me. So a year passed, where everything was seeing the color of roses, nothing was affecting our relationship because there was no one to stand in my way with that person.
Although, we had plans of all kinds, where further formalizing our relationship was already planned, all of which waited until we had more time together. By the year 2017 specifically in the month of July, when I first experienced a very serious illness. That's when all the suspicions started.
Although, before this, I had told myself that I had dated someone, it was in December that I realized that I had told that lie to cover up the fault with the person who was even in the privacy.
I was in bed for three months, and in those three months I realized all the falsehood in our relationship, where the visiting hours of the person who wanted me to spend more time with me were five minutes, and it wasn't that they put that limit on him, but that he himself imposed it just so he could talk longer with the other person who was dominating his heart.
I was getting worried because I didn't know what was really going on. I finally got out of malaria and went back to his house where I was working with him. I had resumed all my activities, my classes and other things that I prefer to keep to myself.
I realized at that moment that something was happening because I was always going out to the center and with a very notorious excuse.
All I was saying was.
Honey, I'm going to find out about the roof to make the room, I'll be right back....
Those were always his words to me and with a kiss he said goodbye, I just said goodbye.
All right, take care, tell me anything, I love you.
Okay, I love you too....
And that's how it all faded away inside me, when he was no longer at home, I couldn't find out from his personal Facebook account, because, I didn't know the key and so I was for several times, eager to know what was going on in our relationship.
I always waited for him to arrive to give him all the affection I felt for him, but, there were always arguments in the middle, and many times I didn't see him coming, since it was 8:00 at night and I couldn't be calming down, but I did it just to see him. But, it was always one more afternoon without hearing from him.
I couldn't take it easy with all this suspicion, so I realized that her Facebook password was a bank card number and that's when I realized that I had the ability to record my numbers quickly. You know all your abilities in a moment of anguish.
Once again he went out to find out to build the room we had planned and that was the moment when he found out everything he suspected, that there was someone else in his life. That person wrote to him to leave me, to go and live with her, and only he said that he loved me and could not hurt me.
The trust I had in him was wearing thin, and more doubts began to grow. The questions were getting louder and louder. How much time did you have together? Would you have sex already? What do I need her to do?
They are typical and stupid questions we ask ourselves instead of cutting that relationship off at the moment when you suspect and affirm everything that was distressing you, that didn't let you sleep. I'm reserving the name of the person you were with because I don't want anyone to know your identity.
When I found out about this infidelity, we were only three days away from my birthday, that is, if I didn't realize it, I was going to continue with this love of three, where loving two people, often implies not loving any, that anyone knows.
And moreover, when you are sure that you love one person, you are not going to let another person, no matter how much body she has, take away all that attention you give your partner, that very night when I found out I had told her to finish. I no longer wanted to be sad because of all I had learned that year which was too sad for me.
After begging and begging, I agreed to give him a chance. So, until now I realize that opportunities are new bullets because the one who shot you didn't hurt you, sometimes, opportunities are actions that we shouldn't take, because if a person loves you, it will never happen to your mind to be with someone other than you.
Always remember that no one owns anyone. You can never tie the feet of the one who accompanies you, sometimes the mind is strange, it can help you and can also fool you ugly, so you have to learn to play alive with your feelings and you will see that you will not get hurt a hundred percent.
Forgive him, as every girl in love forgives an infidelity. At that time I saw how he had changed drastically. So, what I did was stay calm. I was no longer looking for who I was writing to or where I was going, because in a short time he showed me that he had changed.
On December 31, 2017, Carlos was diagnosed with too severe a disease in the brain where he was attempting against his own life. In itself, this disease was an inflammation in the nerves that were located in his head and made him forget things, even though the most important things were being forgotten.
When I was in bed, I started to think about how I could help him out of this problem that was happening, I didn't know what to do, because I wasn't specialized in medicine, I just told him to stay calm, that everything was going to be okay.
One night I stayed next to him, because I didn't want to leave him alone at any time because that moment was perhaps going to be the last time I would see him and I was really afraid of that. That night we started talking for a while before his head hurt again.
All he did was lie under my legs like they were a cabin.
Don't walk away from me," he said. "I feel safe here.
-All right -I answered -I will never leave you.
I'll be fine, don't worry.
It was the only thing I heard that comforted my soul at the time.
Of course you will be.
Replicate at that time
- Because you are strong, and the strength you have is what will help you. Just trust God you'll be okay.
-I love you.
He said to me in tears.
- If I ever leave this world, remember that I will always love you.
I couldn't get the words out to tell him that I loved him too, because I didn't want him to leave me, that was the most tragic moment of my life. 31 December! One of the greatest experiences I've ever had in my life. And, finally, I was able to tell him.
I love you very much, in spite of all the problems we've had, I love you.
Although, in these moments it's kind of silly, because that love has already become the love of friends, I always remember that once I really loved myself and that I could count on him at all times, where I wouldn't let anyone hurt me and defend me at all costs.
Many times we want the other person to do whatever it takes to conquer our heart, but we must also do our part. A relationship that has gone through infidelity will never forgive the other person for what they did. Because, all those memories are the ones that marked a moment in your life and those are the moments where the happiest days of your life are involved.
So I spent New Year's Eve, away from my family just because I was looking out for someone I loved and cared about their health. By January of this year 2018, the first few days were completely happy, because we could be happy because he had already recovered from the swelling.
But, it's like men never want to be right in a relationship and they screw up twice with the same person. On January 16, to be exact, I realized that it was changing again. Not only that, but my intuitions came back to me again. Normally, it's a gift that women have, because it's a feeling that there is when a man cheats on them.
Generally, I was already tired of this happening, because she was earning my trust again. In that same month, I found out that he had dated Zaray, a not very pretty girl but, she had a body that he liked, among other things that for him was the right woman to enjoy a good time.
Zaray had talked to me a couple of times by chatting to me, but he never told me he was dating Carlos, only I started to find out and fell for the same girl again. I couldn't rest easy because the confidence I had in him if he was at 30% had already dropped back to 0%.
I started telling Carlos again.
Tell me the truth, are you dating Zaray again?
No, my love, I haven't spoken to her since.
Cheeky way of telling me lies when I already know the truth....
-No? -No? And what are these messages, huh?
I said in an angry voice.
They're just messages, but I didn't go out with her anywhere.
Telling more lies.
- She just told me to come over to her house and tell her she needed to talk to me.
Why did you delete the other messages?
At that moment he kept thinking that's what he was going to tell me....
I deleted them because there was no more space in the memory.
I left him alone because the truth was already disappointed and I didn't want this to become a monotony of arguing all the time and every time I saw him I would get very angry and tears would come down.
This happens when the knot you have is huge and you don't know how to untie it. Usually, this lump is not found in the throat as when you say: I have a lump in my throat. The worst knot is in your soul when you are disappointed by the person you love so much, but you don't want to say anything to them because they are doing well.
Maybe you're thinking I'm stupid for forgiving him, but love is like that. Forgive what you don't have to forgive and don't forget how bad it has been even if you have to. I didn't really expect anything from anyone, I was just relieved to see what was going to happen tomorrow with this relationship.
In those days of anguish and worry, I found out that Zaray was pregnant with Carlos, for me this was the worst news of my life, because I never expected this to happen. Although, if he was with her in the privacy and they didn't protect themselves, well, it was only logical that I should know about this.
It was all because she had lost the baby and wanted to tell me the truth about everything, because Carlos didn't take care of her as he should have, all those lies that I had eaten came to light. I really don't know how stupid I was to stay with a man like that.
She wanted to tell me the whole truth because she was tired of being pushed aside, of being rejected. In fact, she wanted to tell the truth about everything because she had lost the baby and only told me that it was Carlos' fault because she had to work to support the baby if he didn't take responsibility.
I couldn't digest this news very well, because it came out of nowhere and I had no proof that it was true. I told her to show me the pregnancy test and what she told me was that she had broken it because she couldn't believe it either.
And I told Zaray...
Girl, I think if you were pregnant, you went to the gynecologist for a consultation to see how the baby was doing. I imagine you had an ultrasound....
-Yes. He told me.
But, I also broke that because I didn't want to believe it....
It's okay. It's okay.
I told him to finish the subject.
- I think Carlos already knows, doesn't he?
No, he doesn't know it yet....
Well, I'll tell him the news. Thank you. Thank you.
It was the last thing I remember telling Zaray when he told me such a thing. I felt completely different, because I didn't want to believe that this was just happening to me. Well, actually, he already had a son with his old partner and had to accept it like that. I can't deny that I was fond of the child and so this new baby on the way could not accept it.
At that moment when Carlos arrived at the house. I was in that serene moment, everything was calm inside me. I was disappointed in everything. So, I decided to ask him about the pregnancy and he just told me that he is not the father of the baby because he was taking care of everything and didn't give it to her.
I didn't start counting with him, and all I did was ask Zaray a little more about her pregnancy.
Hi, it's me again, I wanted to ask you a question. How many months pregnant are you?
I have 2 months - Zaray told me - I really can't believe it. I've been to all three of my consultations and I have to accept that I'm pregnant.
In two months you can't go to three consultations, because if you found out you were pregnant and you were two months pregnant, you have to go to one consultation and you have to wait until the next month.
So, I thought it was just a manipulation to get him to move in with her. The truth is, I've always considered that a man can never be tied down with a baby. I don't know how I could have put up with this all along. I was completely blind to this situation that was happening in my life.
I was with him until April, when I realized that our relationship was going nowhere. One night, I remember perfectly well, it was April 10, I was at his house when I told him I was going to mine and he pretended not to accompany me and neither to say goodbye to me. Actually, even days before this, he was strange.
That night I came home, lay down on my bed and wrote him a message saying.
Do you want to go through with this or are we friends? The decision is yours to make.
You know we haven't been well for months and I was thinking about this.
He answered me within minutes.
- For me this is not easy Miry, because you have taught me too much to love and not only that, you have also taught me to share, to fight for what is wanted and I do not want us to stop talking.
Yes, the best thing we can do to stop hurting you is to remain friends....
This answer touched too much my soul that I didn't even want to live at the time. I cried in my bed, because only my pillow knows my deepest stories. She is the only one who knows how much I have cried and suffered until I fell asleep and woke up with a smile on my face and pretended that nothing was happening to me.
In the morning when I wake up I see a message that says.
Good morning my child, always keep in mind that I love you and I will love you for all eternity, believe it or not, for me it is also a strong decision to make this decision, because I remember all the moments of sadness that you have lived with me. You were the only one who supported me in all my projects and taught me to fight in this life. It was because of you that I started to undertake and I will continue to do so for you, to help you to undertake and to be a successful woman.
Again, my tears soon came out, as I was completely shattered. I thought about answering him and just what I told him at the time was.
Come back.... I don't want to be like this with you. It hurts me to end this relationship that was already taking shape and life.
No, I can't go back with you....
I had to ask him the question.
Because I don't want to hurt you anymore. I love you, and why I love you I don't want to hurt you. I've done too much already.
NO. It can't stay that way for me, I'm still hoping you'll come back. VUELVE…
I told you why I can't do it, my child. I don't want you to suffer. I want you to be with a person who truly values you as the queen and warrior woman you are.
I stopped to answer nothing. Well, I was completely devastated by what was going on. But, I knew I didn't have to prove I was broken anymore.
That's how the days went by until I accepted that we had to stay friends for good.
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Monday and Thursday.