Dude, you're gonna make me cry! This is so beautiful, oh my god.
I can't imagine what you must have went through and the way you expressed how much she means to you really shows how deep your love was for her.
I know you can't have her back and it still hurts like hell when you think about her, but the only piece of advice I can give you right now, is to become that man that she would've wanted you to become. That's how you make her proud. That's how you honor her memory and the love you two shared.
I don't know how old you were when you first met her but judging from your writing, I'm assuming you guys were pretty young, and young love always hits the hardest. I'm so glad that you wrote this letter to her. I'm sure she's smiling at you from somewhere high up there.
Seriously man, this is probably the most beautiful thing I've read in this month. You are such a genuine man and I honestly and most sincerely hope the very best for you. Please know that you're not alone in this and you can talk to me about it any time you want. I'm always here to listen.
Stay strong, buddy.
Sorry if you cried. I tend to do that with these letters.. I've been writing her for 7 years now and I've had quite a few people tell me similar. I plan to keep writing her for the rest of my life at least 3 times a year. Around when we met, on her birthday and on the day she passed. And yes the love was and still is strong.. I cried like I was dying when I found out and cried for days and weeks and months pretty ferociously. Years even I'd say.. I don't cry as much anymore cause I know she wouldn't want it and have more deeply realized that in recent years, but I do still cry from time to time.. It's just not fair. It doesn't make sense.. I was 28 when I met her and she passed shortly after she turned 21.. She didn't get nearly enough time.. I know some get even less time than her and I told her that once.. It's tragic when people leave so young, and hurts even more when they are someone we love so much.
You know.. I've told this to myself before a few times and heard it from others a few times.. But hearing it again really makes me stop and think.. You're right, and I'm not sure how I can do that to the fullest, but I have been trying to do that for a long time. I've dedicated my life to helping others even more than I did before I knew her as I was already trying to help others, but afterwards it's become like my main reason for living, just to try to help others.. Though I realize now I need to go even further and help myself more.. I need to try to really do those things I want to do, even if sometimes I feel like I'm too late and it's impossible.. Somehow I have to find a way. For her. And for me. Thank you for sharing your advice, it helped me to hear that right now.
I hope so. :)
Thanks for the nice words and for offering to be there if I need anyone to talk to. I really appreciate that. You seem like a good soul and I'm glad I met you. And.. Same to you also if you ever need someone to talk to.
Will do my best. Thank you. Much love to you man.