RE: Two swords, two vultures and an elephant, a short story of fiction
If I may?
I enjoyed reading the above story. I think your point was not that the woman is a protector, but that a part of mankind have grown to understand their world and the need for them to be a part of it - which then places the duty of protecting the world from those who have remained closed and 'greedy', upon them.
I got the impression, while reading, that as you wrote, it was not an intellectual exercise, as such, but mostly a recording of internal pictures that colour your inner world that you were attempting to share with us.
I have the feeling that as you continue writing (please also try to expand on your control of the language, if you wish to write in English), new worlds of possibilities will open for you and you may become quite a force to be reckoned with.
I look forward to seeing new works of yours, so I am adding you to those I follow.
This is actually one of the rare stories that I have written that did not have any specific meaning under it. Usually I write with a goal to make people think, but this was just a piece in my mind that I wanted to put out on paper as it seemed beautiful. I love writing, because each person takes their own meaning out of stories, everybody has their own interpretation of text.
I do have a view on life that we should care more about our surroundings, so yes, it is low-key entwined in the story.
English is my second language and even though I was raised with it(my mom taught me the language ever since I was a baby, but she only had the language level so high), I have a long way to go. I did not have the chance to perfect it in school as much as I would have wanted as it was a subject, but the vocabulary is an issue. Plus I was never really good in writing in my own language (My grade in school for my language was the lower, even though it was not low) For that reason I love steemit, I improve every day and one day, when I will feel ready, I will finally write my books. I have so many ideas, and dreams in my mind, I have always loved stories, I grew up with books.
There are some weaknesses in my writing that I know may not be extinguished by the help of this platform(my commas are all over the place :D), but I have don everything I can in the last years to improve my language as my end goal is to be an English writer. I considered studying English in University, but I traded that for real life experiences at this moment, I will however have to take courses for some grammatical improvements in the future, that I know. But regarding the vocabulary, I am learning something new every day, and now, when I speak English more than I speak any other language, I have no doubt that I will get there.
I am always looking to improve, without change there is no future and I know I am sometimes wonky with my 1st person to 3rd person switching, I know I will need guidance with that as well. I have a lot to work on, but I am ready to do that as what I am doing here is my passion and I am not willing to let go of that, I have seen so many people not following their dreams that it is ridiculous.
Thank you for the long comment and time that you put into t! I love feedback, of any kind!
Have the best of day!
Thanks for your answer. I love language, especially the English language, but I still make many mistakes. I think some of them, we know better but have drifted into a bad habit or two. This is how I correct myself (first of all, as you probably know, when you are writing, you know what you intended saying, so when you re-read, so as to correct mistakes, you don't read it as you wrote it, but as you wanted or meant to write it.
I have a friend who has a problem with his eyes, especially reading from a screen, so I read to him what I have written, and as I do so, I can 'hear' my mistakes. Try it, if you have a friend who likes your writing and understands English.
Haha, most of the people I speak with speak English, it is my day-to-day language at the moment as I am in a new country and still learning that language.
Yeah, I know, I notice those mistakes later on and then correct them, sometimes they just slip by unnoticed. I have someone who could read my work, I may have to start using them :D