little did I know that the last birthday I'd spend with my dad would be my 18th. Very shortly thereafter, he was gone. Sudden and totally unexpected stroke. "Boom! You're an adult now, have a nice life!"

Ouch :( oh man that just made me burst into tears. That must have ripped you from the inside out. I am so so sorry!

"Boom! You're an adult now, have a nice life!"

This FNCKER seems to be making repeat visits to me.

Yes, I'm a little cynical, in this particular department.

With good reason.

More objectively, my birthday is August 30th.

Officially added to my personal calendar.

More objectively, my birthday is August 30th. My Dad's was August 6th, and started off a month-long string of birthdays of family members and dear friends. As I write these words, all but myself have passed a way and so August feels more like a month of reflection, than one of celebration.

I will try to be that one part that reminds you to celebrate yourself - much like I need to remind myself.

I don't talk about this stuff, mostly for fear of being a "Debbie Downer," but I guess... I guess I just wanted to say that I get it, and I think it's OK to simply embrace it, as is. It's not ME I'm trying to make happy by putting on a smiley face, right? Is it, for YOU?

You give a FNCK - and you LET ME KNOW - that is one thing which counts more to me than anything else. I live in a space with someone who has literally dubbed me "debbie downer" so I am no stranger to that... but I cannot help feeling and expressing what I feel. It is just who I am.

Thank you xxx