Happy Birthday Jaynie!

From my heart to yours, sincerely. I know your mom will be there with you, as you enjoy that Italian red...

But otherwise, I'm right there with you. Birthdays have never meant much to me, and they have typically always held a slightly sour note, and I'd just as well forget about them and move on. And I simply loathe "surprise parties."

I suppose our reasons are not dissimilar. You lost your mom; little did I know that the last birthday I'd spend with my dad would be my 18th. Very shortly thereafter, he was gone. Sudden and totally unexpected stroke.

"Boom! You're an adult now, have a nice life!"

"Memorable" birthdays since then included my 21st, spent on an airplane on a trans-Atlantic flight from London to Houston, Texas. My 30th, spent at a trade show in a city I didn't know. My 50th, spent helping someone move across the country. In truth, they were OK because they were largely forgotten.

Yes, I'm a little cynical, in this particular department.

More objectively, my birthday is August 30th. My Dad's was August 6th, and started off a month-long string of birthdays of family members and dear friends. As I write these words, all but myself have passed a way and so August feels more like a month of reflection, than one of celebration.

I don't talk about this stuff, mostly for fear of being a "Debbie Downer," but I guess... I guess I just wanted to say that I get it, and I think it's OK to simply embrace it, as is. It's not ME I'm trying to make happy by putting on a smiley face, right? Is it, for YOU?

xo