words

I hate not talking to you. I've been up for hours and I haven't heard a peep. My phone rings, or my texts buzz and my heart stops. And it's not you. I guess you really are leaving me behind. I guess you really are letting us go. And I've got to say, I fucking hate it. I despise 'knowing how it feels to miss you'. I despise every stupid thing about this stupid situation. And I can't just text you, because then I'm the crazy girl who won't let it go. But I am the crazy girl who doesn't know how to let it go. I know that's who I am now. I guess I've always been better at being the girl with sadness then the one that gets to be happy. Maybe that's just who I am. The crazy overly emotional girl, dripping chaos from her fingertips like blood.