Word Poetry Challenge No. 10 : Smile.
Big set of choppers pearly white
They'd flash across her face
The likes of which could blaze the night
Chase shadows from this place
So broad a grin could risk a fright
No temperance for grace
For many the arresting sight
Had cause for change of pace
Yet those who did not take to flight
Did not lunge for their mace
Her uninhibited delight
As lovely as silk lace
Regardless words spoken in smite
Would roll in her head space
Running through her head in the night
A ruminating chase
That youthful self belief finite
Time it did replace
Where once there shone a sparkling sprite
She took care to efface
Meticulously sealed air tight
Smile but a memory trace
When joy occasioned to ignite
Threatens perchance unlace
Recoiling with essence contrite
A single line smile trace
Social appropriate bedight
Joyless not out of place
Do not despair she finally found
The gumption to endure
To finally embrace the lot
To see her flaws as cure
For years she listened to the ones
Who told her to conceal
To be ashamed of her own face
Never to reveal
For too long she smiled by halves
Her joy was halved as well
She got her power back and swore
Never again to quell.
This is an entry for the word poetry challenge hosted by @jassennessaj
This week's word is
Smile.
https://steemit.com/wordchallenge/@jassennessaj/word-poetry-challenge-10-smile-or-english-edition
The first image is from pixabay, the others are mine.
This is absolutely an amazing piece! I'm so glad you joined @girlbeforemirror. I'm hoping you could gather more friends to join the contest!
Hello, I was introduced to you by @quillfire through this post. I am no student of poetry, not by a long shot, so my comments here are from a total outsider's perspective when it comes to the world opposite prose.
First off, let me say that my hat is off to you for putting out something positive like this in spite of living with EDS. I have a cousin who lives with it as well, and art is a huge part of their life too.
Now on to the poem. My interpretation is that it is being told by someone who grew up somewhat awkward looking or with some other kind of flaw or disfigurement. For years they had self-confidence and were not afraid to reveal their smile or their vulnerable side to people, until one day something happened to cause them to stop smiling. Finally, years later, they re-discovered the ability and courage to smile. Not in spite of what people had previously mocked, but because of it.
To me, this is a poem about learning to love yourself and ignore the haters. It is also about accepting your flaws and making the most of them. The smile in this poem is literal but also symbolic of a willingness to be vulnerable around others. The payoff for making this change is the ability to achieve a full measure of joy.
I like the message that I got from this poem, and think the story was well crafted. If I must come up with a critique, I would say that it is the fact that I had to really dig and search to find the reason why the author stopped smiling. But maybe that's intentional, so if so, I guess I have no critique at all! :)
Well done! I am not normally a big consumer of poetry but this was definitely worth my time.
@dollarsandsense & @girlbeforemirror,
Marg ... go read this guy's comment on my poem. He's as much a poet as either one of us. Let's drag him in ... kicking or screaming, protests be damned. He's an ex-soldier too ... warrior-poet.
No comment.
Quill
nice poem
This post has been selected for curation by @msp-curation by @sunravelme. It has been upvoted and will be featured in this week's Working Title post. It will also be considered for the official @minnowsupport curation post and if selected will be resteemed from the main account. Feel free to join us on Discord!
@girlbeforemirror,
This is bloody excellent!
Lovely Ballad Meter, good rhythm and rhyme scheme ... force-multiplying a powerful insight. A combination of two off-setting emotions, humor and poignance ... like "sweet and sour" ... that creates "tension/release."
Damn ... this is damned fine craft.
Note to Curators ... UPVOTE this Post at 100%!!! This was more difficult to write than it appears ... which is the hallmark of good poetry. I see @sunravelme already did ... good curation.
Quill
Oh Quil,
You make me blush! Some genius just taught a word monkey to sing an advertising jingle and then self project their tiny insular perspective /existence into the formula.
Then said teacher quietly basks in the secondary gain of the students achievement. The humble satisfaction that only great teachers understand, the satisfaction of a student who listens, learns and adequately applies the lesson learned.
Inadvertently reminding and motivating the student back towards the current task. Set some time ago... quite some time ago! And lost in a sea of half written ballads and interesting words, somewhere on fire hazard kindling in the kitchen ... Marino... Counting sheep just isn't what it used to be.
@girlbeforemirror,
No one else knows what you're talking about but I can assure them, you are a very clever gal. In fact, you're so clever that your cleverness inspired your teacher to himself write a poem ... also entitled, "Smile" ... thereby increasing your competition. :-)
Steel sharpens steel.
Marg, I am furiously proud of this work. As I keep telling you ... write! This is your forte.
Quill
Nice poem! (Had to look up the word bedight lol) Keep smiling!
Hah, just one? In that case, your vocab is more extensive than mine! There were a few I had to look up.
Agreed, great poem though.