Dude, I'm legitimately giving friendly advice here.

Perhaps take a break from Steemit? For a little while. The tone that is conveyed by your posts as of late gives the impression that this is less than healthy for you right now.

You've made some good rewards here, surely there are ways for you to enjoy the fruit of your labour, while taking a well earned vacation from Steemit.

If a hobby or an environment is toxic, one should distance himself from it, at least for a little while. Distance gives perspective.

Go bowling. Have sex with an 18 year old. Grow a moustache. You know, stuff like that. Adventures.