You sure packed a lot into this piece ( and it didn't have to be horror lol).
You brought us into the room and the situation right away, we were able to see the body and what is going on in the main character's mind. To me, the scene was very visual - you described the atmosphere without describing it - I think that is something you have been working on, right?
Like her state of mind - she gets up to paint her nails and turns on music - kind of what you don't expect from someone who just found a dead body - or just murdered a person. of course, the reference to drugs makes it even clearer.
I got a little bit lost with Gabriel. So, if I got it right, Granny ends up being Gabriel who used to be Steve before his sex change?
It did get very gruesome with the tub and head and such and came a bit as a surprise - but it is a freewrite and you did bring it to a logical in the story ending with her dressing up as a vampire.
I am not quite sure how Herbert fits into the story besides giving the urgency to clean up things fast. He seems to be a character that is very different from the main character that is being followed by the detective.
Probably something that could be developed more without the time restraints.
Now, I am curious what you did. Is it a technique from the new book you got?
This is the best explanation I found on the internet--> Clustering. The book I got it from is "Writing the Natural Way", of which I'm currently going through. I've used clustering several times. It feels easier to write and think of what to put into the scene. For those that struggle writing, they may like using this technique. Maybe we could create a series of post from the book? It has a lot of good information thus far.
I got lost with the second prompt. I couldn't figure out how to make sense out of it last night. lol The protagonist was with Gabriel the tranny, a.k.a. mother. Steve is the one coming home from the Bahamas.
I see what you are talking about. I'll change the name Herbert to Steve.
You sure packed a lot into this piece ( and it didn't have to be horror lol).
You brought us into the room and the situation right away, we were able to see the body and what is going on in the main character's mind. To me, the scene was very visual - you described the atmosphere without describing it - I think that is something you have been working on, right?
Like her state of mind - she gets up to paint her nails and turns on music - kind of what you don't expect from someone who just found a dead body - or just murdered a person. of course, the reference to drugs makes it even clearer.
I got a little bit lost with Gabriel. So, if I got it right, Granny ends up being Gabriel who used to be Steve before his sex change?
It did get very gruesome with the tub and head and such and came a bit as a surprise - but it is a freewrite and you did bring it to a logical in the story ending with her dressing up as a vampire.
I am not quite sure how Herbert fits into the story besides giving the urgency to clean up things fast. He seems to be a character that is very different from the main character that is being followed by the detective.
Probably something that could be developed more without the time restraints.
Now, I am curious what you did. Is it a technique from the new book you got?
This is the best explanation I found on the internet--> Clustering. The book I got it from is "Writing the Natural Way", of which I'm currently going through. I've used clustering several times. It feels easier to write and think of what to put into the scene. For those that struggle writing, they may like using this technique. Maybe we could create a series of post from the book? It has a lot of good information thus far.
I got lost with the second prompt. I couldn't figure out how to make sense out of it last night. lol The protagonist was with Gabriel the tranny, a.k.a. mother. Steve is the one coming home from the Bahamas.
I see what you are talking about. I'll change the name Herbert to Steve.
Thanks for your answer and time. 8-)
Horror and the macabre....
Kinda your forte ;p
I have come with another prompt