The ways to intract a girl with out feeling shy
Here is the tip to girl with out feeling shy. And if wants more then comment and ask in there. I will help you guys
If you want to learn how to stop being shy around girls, then this article will break it down for you in 3 simple steps that you can start using today.
A lot of the information on the internet about overcoming shyness around girls is just plain wrong. Back when I was shy around girls, I remember reading things like “Don’t talk too much. Listen and let her talk” or “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”
That type of advice would be great for someone who was already a blabbermouth, but how about the guy who is ACTUALLY SHY? What about the guy who can’t walk up to a girl and talk to her because he feels too nervous? What about the guy who’s smart enough to know that nothing really bad can happen, but he still feels that overwhelming anxiety that stops him every time?
Eventually I realized most of the people typing this stuff up had never been shy around girls themselves, they had just thrown up a webpage to make some quick money.
*.This Article Is For The Really Shy
Most guys feel a little nervous around the girls they like, but they’re able to take a deep breath, push through it, and become comfortable with them over time. That’s not who this post is for.
This post is for the guys who feel really anxious, scared and inhibited around girls. If you get a strong physical feeling of anxiety when you think of talking to a girl you like, or you feel a powerful, paralyzing hesitation when you want to approach or ask out a girl, then this post is for you.
I’ve broken it down to three parts: Overcoming inferiority, not being too invested, and becoming assertiveness. This post is going to go into more depth than anything else out there. Bookmark this page now so you can come back to it again and again.
Now here’s step one…
- Overcome Your Inferiority
From my experience teaching hundreds of shy people over the past couple of years, both guys and girls, I’ve found the cause of most shyness is a feeling of inferiority. If you feel you are somehow “less valuable” than the girl, then you will feel shy and nervous around her.
Let me illustrate this with an example.
Fat Girl Syndrome
Imagine a fat or unattractive girl who you know. Do you feel any anxiety or nervousness around her? No, probably not. And if you do, it will still be far less than around the girl you are attracted to.
Think about the way you talk to girls who you aren’t really attracted to. Are you more relaxed and casual around them? Do you talk to them the same way you would talk to a guy friend? Meanwhile around a girl you find attractive your mind suddenly goes blank and you can’t think of what to say.
Why does this happen? Why are you only shy around certain girls? This happens when you place so much value on looks that a good looking girl becomes intimidating.
The solution is, of course, to stop placing so much value on looks. Treat an attractive girl in the same casual, natural way you would treat a guy friend or unattractive girl. Sure, you may be attracted more to a good looking girl, but physical looks alone shouldn’t be enough to immediately make you intimidated and won over.
Photo credit: David Urbanke
I remember back when I was very shy around girls, I would start to really like a girl and start to fantasize about our future together… without ever really having talked to her!
In hindsight, it seems so foolish, yet so many shy guys do it. They become infatuated with a girl just based on how she looks from a distance. They haven’t even talked to her yet, yet they start to imagine a future together with her. (I’ll talk more about these unrealistic fantasies later.)
It’s better to have an attitude of “what else do you offer?” Does the girl have something other than her looks going for her? There are plenty of cute girls in the world, but it’s rare to find a girl you can have fun with and one that has a personality that “clicks” with yours.
Do not put the girl on a pedestal before you even know her. Treat her as an equal human being, not a goddess. That’s why so many women give guys the advice to “be yourself.” They don’t like it when a guy is trying hard to impress them and get them to like him. Especially when they haven’t done anything to deserve his attention yet except looking pretty.
Realize that how someone looks does not dictate how valuable they are. Being good looking is more about luck in getting the right genes than anything else. Would you think that a lottery winner was superior to you?
Being Less Experienced
Another way of feeling inferior is thinking that being less experienced than the girl with relationships will immediately make you repulsive to her.
Back when I was shy, I remember I kept having to think I had to “hide” the fact I had never had a girlfriend. I thought that if the girl realized from the way I acted that I was romantically or sexually inexperienced, then that meant she would just get up and leave automatically.
The truth is, by having an attitude of feeling undeserving of more experienced girls, then you are only sabotaging yourself. If you have grown up somewhat shy and socially awkward, then it will be almost inevitable that most girls will be more experienced than you.
In order to “catch up,” you need to start to talk to, and become involved with, these girls. That’s actually a great perspective to have. The fact that you are less experienced than average does not mean girls do not like you. It just means that you have some catching up to do because of your shyness or social anxiety. You just started later than everyone else. And that brings me to the last point…
Being Hard On Yourself and Insecure
Remember the first key lesson: The less valuable you think you are compared to someone, the more shy you will feel around them. Inferiority makes you feel not entitled to be confident and express your personality.
Ask yourself: “How do I make myself feel inferior than other people?”
One big problem you may have to overcome is your own thoughts. Many shy people have a constant stream of thoughts that point out what a loser they are.
If you constantly think about why you’re a loser, how you aren’t good looking, how you have some physical flaw that needs to be fixed, how you’re a loner with little or no friends, how you’ve never even kissed a girl, etc … then you are just sabotaging yourself.
By being too hard on yourself and being insecure about your appearance you are constantly reinforcing the idea in your mind that you are inferior to the girl. This makes it IMPOSSIBLE for you to be confident around her, because you think she is more valuable.
And if you are lacking confidence and can’t even talk to her normally, then you have no chance of attracting her and forming a relationship.
Confidence and personality are more attractive than physical appearance to most girls. Your looks don’t matter nearly as much as you think they do. If you don’t believe me, then look around. All the good looking girls are around the confident, popular, charismatic guys. On the other hand, many of the good looking guys who are shy are stuck alone or with a girl they’re not really attracted to. Looks matter much more to guys than girls.
So the most important thing is to cut out any thoughts that sabotage your confidence or make you inhibited. This means to notice when you are having self-defeating thought patterns and stop them in their tracks.
Any thought that makes you think you are less valuable will only sabotage your progress in becoming less shy around girls. Notice when they occur, challenge them with the ideas you’ve learned so far, and instead try to focus on your good qualities that you are proud of. Remind yourself that girls aren’t really after the best-looking guy, but one who can be confident and talk to them without being intimidated by their superficial qualities.
[Related Article: Do Girls Like Shy &
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