What Iearnt From Making Friends

For the past few years of my life, I have had a variety of different friendships with different people of different behavioral compositions. That has brought me certain discoveries that I am willing to share with you as stated. Some of these discoveries include the following.

1 - We all need friends , solitude is the devil's workshop.

Solitude is good, if you only do it once in a while but when it becomes a constant habit, you risk your mind being messed up. You risk unholy(destructive) entrances in to your mind. Over the past few years,, I have had friends that were ready to listen and that has been a mountain of blessing for me. Without it, I really don't know how I would have dealt with certain issues of life that have confronted me. Most times, issues look big and complex when you don't share it with safe friends. Once shared, they loose their montrosity and solutions appears out of no where. Solutions that seemed so easy to come by but yet, was veiled in solitude.

2 - Judging from a distance isn't always productive.

Although many say friendship should be based on value, meaning, you probably should not make friends with those who doesn't seem to offer much. Well, they're right. But then let me ask a question, how do you know the value someone abhors unless you go close first. And even if , you are so perceptive to understand people from afar, how do you recognize values that you are not familiar wiht. Trust me, you are not encyclopaedia of values. You think you have a list of values that you are looking out for in others. You might just be shocked to meet someone who offers you a kind of value you never thought existed. I am simply saying that it pays to be socially open and broadly friendly, rather than trying to size people up before you get close. People do that a lot and seriously, it is not a good thing. Most times, the person you are sizing up will notice and you might just be at the brink of losing a lot you might have gained from such relationship. I have met a lot of people that have so much to offer but on first glance, they look like a wreck. but just because someone is a social wreck does not qualify them to be a wreck in all other areas of life. So, I advise broad friendship sauced with humility. Nevertheless, I advise caution too , to know one's boundary while meeting strangers.

3 - The surest way to build valuable relationships is to valuable.

For me, personal value composition is a shortcut to so many good things of life. I have noticed, over the years, that people of low value compositions find it hard to relate with people who have so much to offer. It is so bad that they even try to vehemently refuse friendships with such people because they feel grossly intimidated. Although, there are times when people with great potentials act same way because they really don't believe in themselves. That is why ,sometimes, when we get close to some people that seem so socially obscured, we realize how much they could have offered the world if only they try to expose or brandish their potentials.

4 - Be A Project Person.

I have projects I do from time to time, most of them have short-term span, some are grossly ambitious, some are for fun. NErvtheless, some of the things that projects have done for me, is that it give me an excuse to build friendships. Even with ladies (winks). What other sure way can you make friends with people of value, except to tell them you have something tangible you are working on and that you need their help. There is a twist to that though. A major turnoff for many project people is when you try to approach others concerning your project while standing on a peadestal of pride. trying to make youself look bigger than you are. i call that branding gone wrong. I believe you just stand on a pedestal of value-offering and humility. Make the person understand why you want to do the project, your expertise, what you need him for and what is in for him. Most of the important people I know right now were met through a project. Friends met through project are always more valuable than otherwise. Also, projects have a way of weeding out unserious people, they end up leaving themselves.

I hope I made some points