Today's Jokes
Laughter is the best medicine. Laugh whenever you can, wherever you can. Laughter has a way of keeping the gloom away. Enjoy today's selection of jokes.
Mental Sums
A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a voice groaning, “Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen…..”
He looks over to the hospital and sees a hole in the wall. So he walks over to the hole and he looks through it, and then he gets poked in the eye!
Now the voice started groaning, “Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen……”
Grounds For A Case
A guy went to his lawyer but told him there would be no fee paid unless the counsellor was sure there were grounds for a case. The lawyer agreed and the guy gave him a full account of the problem.
“What a case!” said the lawyer. “You’ll win a fortune. Now for my fee…”
“Sorry, no fee,” the guy said. “That was the other guy’s side.”
In The Locker Room
There are several men in the locker room of a private club after exercising. A cell phone on a bench rings. One of the men picks it up and the following conversation occurs:
Him: Hello?
Her: Honey, It’s me.
Him: Sugar!
Her: Are you at the club?
Him: Yes.
Her: Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat … It is absolutely gorgeous! May I buy it?
Him: What’s the price?
Her: Only one thousand five hundred dollars.
Him: Well, OK, go ahead and get it if you like it that much.
Her: On the way to the mall I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and looked at the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he offered me a really good price. Since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year ...
Him: What price did he quote you?
Her: Only sixty thousand dollars.
Him: OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.
Her: Great! Uh, before we hang up, something else ...
Him: What?
Her: I stopped by the real estate office this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year. The one with an Olympic size pool, an English Garden, an acre of park area and beach access …
Him: How much are they asking?
Her: That’s the good news! They just lowered the price. It’s only four hundred and fifty thousand dollars now! I checked our bank balance and we have enough to cover it.
Him: Well, then go ahead and pursue it. But I want you to offer four hundred and twenty thousand dollars. If they accept that, you can buy it. OK?
Her: OK, sweetie... Thanks! I’ll see you later! I love you!
Him: Bye. I do too!
The man hangs up, closes the phone’s flap, raises his hand and says, “Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?”
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You might also like my previous posts: -
Today’s Humour
Happy and Sad
That Vacation High Does Not Last
What is Life (7)
About Love (3)
Have a look at - How Reading Inspirational Quotes Can Improve Your Life
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