So Who am I, really?

This particular question has bugged me for the entirety of my human existence. Okay! Let's just say it became a problem from when I gained a state of conscious awareness on myself. In the search for the ideal me, the real me has had to go through so many phases. Most of them are pitiful and shameful while a few show that bright light of hope in the human condition.

Mosttimes I hope upon hope that my current state will catchup (even if halfway) with my expected self.

Some other times I wonder whether I am not chasing a mirage. Is it not possible that the object of my quest was already within the reach of my hands? I pondered most times. When someone catches me lost in thoughts, I quickly look for an excuse to evade the question: "what are you thinking about?"

In my mind, they would never understand me.

They have no way of appreciating the micro-pixels of my picture.

Even if they could, they would only see fragments. I alone could see the big picture. Yes! I wasn't a fine work of art that could be traded at hugely priced auctions. Yes! I wasn't a diamond buried under the layered humus of decay. Maybe I was all these things all in one.

Within this my short life on earth, I have felt pain firsthand.

I have come to see suffering as a way to dispose the body of sweat. I have shed alot of tears. Tears of joy and bloody tears of a broken heart. I have loved, perhaps once or twice- both reciprocated and unrequited. I have been cajoled and made fun of for being different. I have stayed in the prison of poverty while being chained by mental slavery.

To cap it all off, life always happens.

It seemed like I was the lead character in one of the "Series Of Unfortunate Events" movies. Hell! I even lost faith in a higher power at some point. I have questioned my own existence and considered an alternate universe where I was a rich man's son. "Why isn't my father Dangote?" I mused. After spending time running around the maze of my mind I always come to the same conclusion.

I am who I am.

I couldn't have been anyone else even if I tried to. No matter how much I copied the celebrities to make-up for my inadequacies, I couldn't be them. Lets say I even succeeded in being them, then the world has lost the light of my own soul- a necessary means to a wonderful end. My genes are unique. My DNA cannot be traded. And even if I had a twin brother (which I wish I did. Lolx), we wouldn't still be the same person. So why shouldn't I be me?

I have found that 'who I am' is complex in unexplainable ways and simple in the very basics of humanity.

I breath. I eat. I shit. Is that enough to be categorized as humnaity? Animals do all these reflexly. I think. I act. I achieve. As I take these baby steps, I begin to approach my nirvana. I smile. I help. I multiply. Wow! Now the world is already becoming a better place because I am beginning to be beyond myself. In the end I will know that I have lived because I transcended the hard shells of 'crowd mentality' to be me.

STEEMit is showing me many aspects of myself that I never new existed.

As the days go by I am digging deeper and deeper into me.

Infact, one could say that I am mining my own blockchain. In this block, I make my rules. I alone can determine the direction of my flow. I alone can enhance the photogenicity of my mind. But yet, I am still a very dependent entity. I depend on 'higher humans' in this very community to pull me up.

I can write-poetry, stories, songs. I can sing-folk, jazz, popular. I can think-theories, practicals, life. I can teach-me, you, tutorials. Most especially, I am armed with a special skill to save lives. I am here on this platform now. I live here now. Its a global house made of Steem. I can travel the universe from the confines of my room in milliseconds. I can get immediate appreciation for the gem I possess while helping encourage others to 'just hold on tight'.

Ultimately, I'm in pursuit of happiness.

I have a conviction that the peak of happiness is reached when freedom is experienced. The society we currently live in is full of all kinds of chains. The bondage of sterotypes. The prison of sadness. The suppression by political inequalities. Financial ineptitude is a particularly over-bearing challenge for so many persons including me. What are we going to do about it? Do we continue to exist in the shadows cast on us by evil or are we going to escape? I want to be the 'Michael Scofield' of my problems. I want to break my barriers and bask in the air of life like a bird that just left a cage. I want to live life now.

I sincerely hope that the amazing grace of the Almighty God will spread its wonderful wings and shade us all from the scorching sun of suffering.

I sincerely hope that our collective light will blot out the word 'darkness' from the dictionary of our hearts. In the very end, we should all be happy that out of all the places we could have been lost to, our probabilities beat the odds of negativity and brought us to this center of magnanimous expansivity.

GOD BLESS US ALL!

Special thanks to @surpassinggoogle and @steem-untalented for this opportunity. You shall never be forgotten.

Creative design, courtesy: ME