My friend @sid9999, I hear what you are saying. I spent over 20 years of my life feeling depressed and even now I have my good days and not so good days. What I found really helps is to start confronting my own shit and talking about it. I share a lot of very personal things here and even on facebook over the years. It is a skill that I learned going through my recovery. I found that we all struggle with the same basic kind of problems. So I'm not alone in this journey. Despite all that I have learned, challenges still come, but the lessons are getting more and more gentle now that I've surrendered to the learning process. Prior to surrendering the lessons were absolutely brutal, harsh and nearly deadly. I speak of this often. So now I accept the ups and downs and just go with the flow. It makes life way easier I find. I speak of this frequently, so you are welcome to look through my blog and my book 'Graduating Life with Honours'. I speak of my recover from depression in the book. Perhaps it will help you.

Peace to you.

https://steemit.com/book/@wwf/graduating-life-with-honours-full-book-with-links-to-each-chapter