I feel so sad right now...I have this quote of Khalil Jibran for you: " out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls, the more massive characters are seared with scars"
I lost my father at the age of 12 and I had ditto...your kind of challenge to face..i couldnt mourn him, I was afraid of realisation that i had lost something "that" big..to the world I portrayed i am a strong person but in noght I was lonely scred little girl..scared of her future..herself. i do realise from yoyr post the importance of mourning..even today i see dreams in which he comes back and it is all so real, I wake up and everything goes away.. I think i should take time out to mourn him..this much I owe him or the pain would not forgive me..great lesson i was able to learn. Thanks my friend @wwf . Prayers for you and your grandpa.