#ulog 2: My precious....

Whenever I ask a question to beings what are memories to you, instantly they all would loose awareness of surrounding, trying to remember their most deep experiences( both deep scars and joy full moments). At that time when I see in to their eyes, it feels like they are somewhere else and I shouldn’t disturb this highly concentrated work of memorisation. I feel a joy inside as they live the moment. Whenever people come to me to share the past, I felt anticipation of opening one of my old box of memory. A different kind of excitement builds upon me as which one it may be, but I could guess by looking at the person who is in front of me.

Many times in a day when I am alone I would brood in to these past to enjoy myself. Remembering the sorrowful events with a sense of relieve that the feeling is of past and lamenting on the thought that happy moments are gone forever. It is like the role of those moments swapped when I recall them in present. But suddenly I would realise all of them are intangible past, so I drop them, but again I realise how can they be nonexistent in present, is not it I am feeling them, even if they are air or may be some neurological stimulation of storage inside the brain.

The events are gone, the stage is replaced by another, but I hold all of them deep inside, playing them as many time I want, deep down I hold those moments so dearly is that they some times weighed me down, but I am intoxicated, how can I bear to leave.

My existence would have no meaning without my precious memories( like in lord of the rings) my precious ring of memories, even if it will eat me to end, I wouldn’t let go. I thing many of us are having this precious ring in which we complete cycle after cycle.

So the way I look at it now is little bit different, its like

the memories comes and goes away from me and I just watch the way they bubbles up in to flower and the next moment goes in to nothingness. I have became an observer of these waves created within me and then slips in to unknown....

Only silence prevails…..

Dedicated to my friend Anita