No, not #steemit or #ulogs. These 2 things have actually helped me. They allow me to express my self. To tell about things I can not tell others. Because here I can be myself. I don't need to be afraid they will read it and people will not judge me.

Life is not perfect. Not everyone is contented. Even the people they show on TV who are poor, with disabilities and health problems that the are still happy and they were able to do something about it. I don't think they show the complete figure. Yes they now accept it but for sure they have been angry, frustrated and probably feel like giving up.

I felt like screaming, shouting, crying and giving up. Giving up on life. It feels so unfair. Why can't they look at me as a person? Why do they show that to them I am just an insignificant person?

I may not be as intelligent as them, not as rich, not as pretty or sexy and even not as healthy as them. If their happiness and joy are true and honest then maybe I am not as happy as them. I am just being cynical. But it is true what you see and hear on the news are not all true.

Source

I really believe in this saying. How can they judge you? They do not know what you have been thru. They do not know how many time you cried yourself to sleep because of loneliness and missing your family. They don't know that you worked 3 jobs just to stay afloat. That you worked 24 hours straight in the hospital, how you walked in the deep snow because you don't have a car. How afraid you were riding the bus home alone at 12 midnight and walking or running 1 block to reach your apartment. How every payday you would distribute it to pay some bills and find out you only have $20 left to last the next 2 week and how you scrimped on groceries. Do they know how hard it was and how scared you were when you were diagnosed having cancer? Do they know how you sometimes hate yourself for not being patient, or being what they wanted you to be? So many questions they never thought of, to them you are irresponsible, and not successful.

They look at you as someone who failed in life. Who learned nothing. Did they know how you suffered for them? Did they know how much you love them even if they do not reciprocate it? Writing this brings the tears to my eyes. Yes I am not perfect. Maybe you don't feel proud of me. Why? I am a person, not just rubbish. I have feelings, I am not made of stone but even stones cry. I tried my best, but it was not enough for them.

Today I wanted to cry loud and give up on life. But the smiling face of my grandson is forcing me to go on and live, if not for them or myself but for him.

Why can't they be like @surpassinggoogle who even with all his pain and sufferings, he still lends a hand and has made me feel important. Or like @paradise-found, #papa-bear. Only chatted with you, yet he says he can trust me and believes in me. Or like @henry-gant, someone you never have seen even in pictures (but he sees you) helps you as much as he can and makes you feel loved. Someone important. And my group #steemitdiversify, they make me loved, important and someone they can rely on and that I can rely on them. Sometimes I do not believe in the saying Blood is thicker than water is correct for them. I see them help others who are not even family. But for me it is. I would do anything for my family, especially my mother and my daughter. When I can't it pierces my heart so painfully.

So before you judge, think, why are they that way? Why are they acting terribly? Why do you think they are not successful? Think deep and search why before judging, who knows they may be the ones who will save your life one day.

My rant, my #ulog of the day.

Our mentor @surpassinggoogle has been very supportive of our group #SteemitDiversify and other groups too. Please support him as a witness by voting him at https://steemit.com/~witnesses and type in "steemgigs" at the first search box.
If you want to give him witness voting decisions on your behalf, visit https://steemit.com/~witnesses again and type in "surpassinggoogle" in the second box as a proxy.
Others that we should support are: @henry-gant, @nomad-magus, @kenny-crane, @beanz, @teamsteem, @good-karma, @busy.org, @esteemapp, @hr1, @arcange @bayanihan, @acidyo, @anomadsoul, @steemitph, @jerrybanfield, @darthnava, @paradise-found, @geetharao, @stephenkendal and @richq11; they also have supported us; also the many others who have visited My posts. Pls. support them too. Thank you very much.
I am grateful for them and for everyone who has helped me and my friends. (Quote made by @purpledaisy57 permission given to use for members of SD family)
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