I think it's impossible to not go to the dark areas of your mind sometimes. Like you, I have moments in my life that will always haunt me. Recently, I was saving news footage to an external hard drive from the days when my grandmother was killed by her next door neighbor who was robbing her house. It made all those memories come back and I was incredibly sad. There are some moments so haunting and horrible that it's hard to not re-grieve and relive the memories as if they were fresh. I do think that tragedies make us stronger but it's okay if you aren't always the strongest one. Some darknesses are always part of you and you have to learn to live with them. It's good you can use the bad to appreciate the good. On another note I hope your kids will be okay and out of harms way. At least they have good warning and time to prepare before the storms hit so that they can try to be safe.