Ulog #83 | Are YOU Above The Shadows .... Invisible to Everyone
Have you ever watched the movie Above the Shadows ?
It's about a young woman who has faded to the point of becoming invisible and she must find her way back with the help of the one man who can see her. After suffering from a major heartbreak due to loss of her mother, she isolated herself so much that she became invisible to everyone. Surviving only with her phone, she walks around taking photos of celebrities and aristocrats at their most vulnerable state. With a local news editor as her only point of contact, she sends him these photos in exchange for cash to survive in her daily life. Thank goodness to online food delivery, she manages to sail to life totally unnoticeable. Until she met the one guy who could see her... I would give you spoiler, so go watch it. It's quite dark in a way & full of suspense.
Source
Somehow, sailing through these few weeks, I feel pretty much like her. Invisible and unnoticeable to everyone around me. I began to feel alienated that I don't see the people around me either. I began to feel oblivion to things around me and confine myself away. Is this a sign of depression, I'm not sure but I do know that this is not my normal state of mind not emotions. I can feel my +ve energy level depleting and the fire that was once burning strongly within me is dimming away slowly and quickly. I somewhat feel my confidence level shaking' this isn't the me anymore.
I am concerned with the state of mind I am in now; fearful that I have changed to be timid and too careful. The brave and bold person I was for many years is now being tested and all these emotions within me is in desperate need to explode. I seemed to have so many things to say out loud and yet I am not able to; especially to those around me here. I never know who is a friend or foe. Everyone carries a mask and had triple up my mask protection against them.
Photo by karl chor on Unsplash
Sitting here in a coffee shop and writing this, I feel lost and my mind is a million miles away from this place. Though many people walk around me but I have no interest to them. They speak and I don't understand; which ultimately makes me become more ignorant to people around me.
I don't care what goes around me and I'm not interested at all. I'm really living in my own bubble; just like the girl in Above The Shadows. Will I eventually disappear from the face of the earth ....
I get how you feel, I feel the same way many times. The question is if you really want to be seen? Many times we think others ignore us, while it's us who are hiding.
I hope things look up for you, if you ever need someone to talk to look for me in Discord, my username is fenngen just like here ;)
Thanks so much @fenngen..
You made me think ? To be honest, I'm not sure myself. If it was back home, it's different.
But here in this foreign land, my judgement and thoughts are indeed being questioned.
It get's hard to make friends in foreign lands sometimes. Everybody has their group and it's easy to feel like you don't fit anywhere, like you're this random extra that appeared in the movie with no importance to the plot... It still is a good experience in the end, you learn much about yourself under those circumstances.