ULOG: The Power Of Words
Words Of Shock
The news came suddenly and was very unexpected. The last time we had spoken I knew something was wrong. Some undercurrent just a sense gleaned from the occasional odd turn of phrase.
But that was weeks ago. I became distracted with my own life and thought little of it.
Looking back I probably should have paid more attention.
Words That Sooth
Getting distracted is pretty common for me. If real life isn't enough Steemit offers a wide range of options. I normally stick to the lighthearted fun side of the platform. Maybe try to be helpful to one of the many uplifting projects when the chance arises.
It seems these days even those areas are becoming a bit jaded. But even in the murky waters of discontent a kind word can penetrate the gloom. Note to self: Remember to do that more often. You just never know when you may turn someone's day around.
Words Unspoken
Then on the other hand a few words left unspoken have the power to change everything forever.
My brother in law needs a kidney transplant. He is not going to get it. He is also not going to tell the rest of the family.
Naturally I respect the decision, it is not mine to make. Even knowing there will definitely be a backlash later on. At some point there will be people highly offended, that is to be expected.
I can't help but wonder why I was chosen to carry this knowledge. (My presence was specifically requested)
I wonder how this plays out over the coming months. I wonder how to manage interacting with the rest of the family. Mostly I wonder if I can somehow find the right words of comfort for my husband, his brother, and his father, as the four of us share the weight of the words unspoken.
This post was made from https://ulogs.org
The part of confidant can be a hard road. Your brother in-law knows his family, he knows his health, and has likely spoken to the doctors about options. Most of the time a kidney donor is a family relation, (at least that is my understanding), and he knows his family and likely their situations. He needed someone to talk to outside the family but a part of the family, he most likely does not want to be a burden, I can only guess, I am not there nor a family member.
There could be many reason for him not getting a transplant, personal choice and medical choice, are but two. The medical reason could be survival odds, or other underlying medical conditions that make him not a good candidate for a transplant.
Right now it seems he likely just needs someone to talk to, to carry his words and wishes to the family when the time is right. It is a hard road, but it is a road he has chosen, and one he has asked you to follow along on. Let him know if it becomes to much, talk to him and help him if he wants it, but also be careful about becoming a crutch for him. Let him know when/if it becomes to hard to keep his secret and that you would like to be able to talk to so and so about it, if it ever gets to that point for you. He will understand, and likely accept you need to bring someone else in on his decision.
That's a heavy burden to bear, but my guess is that he just knew that you would be supportive and non-judgemental. It's a burden, but also an honor. Doesn't make it any easier though, I know. Most of Brian's family doesn't know the path he is taking and only recently, has he even told them that he was sick.
I'm sorry that you have all of this on your plate, but you know where to find me if you ever need to vent. Yep, my plate's pretty frikkin' full haha, but I'd make room for you any day.
It has been a very interesting time leading to strange lines of thought. Reading conversations on the platform makes a surreal contrast. Makes me think a lot about what we say to whom and why. Sometimes much thought will go into that, other times words just seem to explode all over the place.
Thanks for sharing about Brian's family. His right to make his own decisions really does outweigh any qualms of guilt I may have.
You're the best. It is funny how this place can become far more than was ever expected going in.
I'm sorry to hear about your brother in law. He will at least have you to confide in over the next months as new information about his kidney comes in. You may be his shoulder to cry on. It's hard to know the right words to say in situations like this. But i do offer this. Love him. Even if he has horrible days in the future. No matter what just let him know he is loved. I will ask our creator to guide you and strengthen you as you pass through this season in your life. Also, i am here, should there be anything you may need. If i can help, i always will. Good people deserve that. I send all my love to you and your family and only good vibrations.
Thank you so much! I think that is my largest hurdle at the moment .. finding the right words at the right times. Still a bit perplexed as to how and why I find myself here. I am sure there are life lessons to learn.
It is really my husbands family who will have the hardest times ahead. Not that I have no emotional stake just much less so than they.
Thank you for sending good vibes our way. The days ahead are sure to be a challenge for all.
howdy there headchange, sorry to hear about your brother in law. I have nothing to add, these are wonderful comments on this post. hope to talk soon.
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Jesus christ, this is horrible news, I hope your brother can heal somehow.
/FF