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The memories about you are so sweet and romantic like the bright and clear moonlight. Oh, my dearest American husband/teacher, you have no idea how I love and worship you. You have no idea about it forever...

When the stars shine up in the sky,
I miss you.
When the sun rises and sets every day,
I miss you.
When the rain falls and everything looks bright and beautiful,
I miss you.
Every day, every hour,
in every way,
in everything I do,
I miss you.

When I read this lovely little poem in the picture, suddenly a wonderful sentence occurs to my mind.

"Your love just makes my this life be a meaningful and worthy one."
你的爱让我今生今世变得有意义和有价值。

I have not lived in vain, OK? I was unexpectedly allowed to meet a great man like God in my mind and marry him, even at last bury him lonely?

You're gone, you disappeared completely, nothing left to me! Although many times I feel so heartbroken/desperate and angry, because all my past efforts just become zero with your sudden death, all the rights of being your legal Chinese wife are deprived of me cruelly and unjustly, the whole world is so bloody and hideous suddenly before me, just as another poem saying:

Death takes your body, God takes your soul, Our mind holds the memories, our heart holds the love. Our faith lets us know we will meet again.

Yeah, nobody/nothing can erase my memories about your love from me, nobody/nothing! You are my teacher, my husband, my God...

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I can't forget how we learned from each other in the past few years online.

Only God knows how I spend most of my time in learning English by myself this life! Only God knows the only motivation of my learning English is to find a true lover/a perfect husband on a worldwide scale! Because love/marriage is my only religion.

I still remember how you corrected my English word spelling error, I still remember how you recited that English poem "in a special world where we belong" in a soft voice...

God knows how deeply I worship the kindhearted American scholar!

So when that kindhearted Steemit friend--another great American teacher in China wrote down his puzzle about how such a spelling mistake--"ture" was made by so many Chinese, even in the text books, I couldn't wait to give him a reply to show myself off. Even a little complacent in the bottom of my heart! The truth is I worship American teacher/scholar so much.

I think that I know the reason for it luckily. Because at that time my late American husband/teacher also pointed out the same error to me, he must fail to suffer my misspelling--"ture" any more. (I know that there are a lot of other mistakes in my emails to him. Thank him to encourage and allow me to write in poor English boldly so much. )
I must say that I was rather shocked when I realized my mistake at first. It is so natural for me to spell "ture". It is all due to its pronunciation. It seems the subconscious of most of Chinese is the same. "True" looks a little heavy-headed. If we change it into "ture", it looks so balanced. In English syntax, it is important to seek the balance of sentence, in order to avoid the heavy head, people use "it" to replace the real long subject. Similarly in Chinese calligraphy, it is also important to seek the beauty of balance.
I have learned a lot from my cross-country and cross-race marriage. I feel our human nature is the same, but our biggest difference lies in the attention to detail. Oh, if at that time we both knew about our different details, maybe such kind of huge tragedy couldn't happen.

Then I began to wait for American teacher's reply anxiously. Finally I got his comment, I was so happy to be approved. He said that maybe I was right, maybe it was really due to balancing idea.

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I can't forget how my late American husband and I once discussed the difference in the pronunciation between Chinese and English excitedly. He sat in the chair, listening to the Chinese traditional opera on TV quietly and intendly, even if he failed to understand the opera lyrics, suddenly, he broke silence, he told us that Chinese language pronunciation was like a hammer hitting, one by one. It is really completely correct, I couldn't agree with him more.

And I told him that I felt English was like the water flowing. If Chinese is solid, English should be liquid. He agreed with me, too. He even expressed our opinions to a teacher in his Chinese school.

If he was still alive, how many Chinese students should he have taught till now? He was such a great American teacher! Pitifully God just allows him to stay in China for only 15 months! I never never thought that I must say farewell to my respected American teacher/my beloved American husband so quickly!

Every moment, my heart is crying. I miss him!

Without him, how lonely I am! To Whom can I talk about my wildly but ignorant dream, my poem and my passion? Who can appreciate and indulge me like him? None! None! None! None! None!

For the whole world, you are only a person;
but for me, you're the whole world.
对世界来说，你只是一个人；
对我来说，你就是整个世界。