Ulog 27: Forgotten Dreams

in ulog •  last year 

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Evening my lovelies!
I hope you’ve all had a fantastic day today.

Following my post a couple of days ago about re-finding my Ker-Pow, today I’ve been thinking a lot about forgotten dreams- and sadly, I think we all have them. The kind of thing I mean is something that you were passionate about when you were younger- or had a desire to learn. But for some reason or another you were de-railed, disenchanted or simply lost your confidence to chase that dream. And I’m not necessarily talking the kind of life-altering dream either. These things can be smaller loves of ours that have been lost to time, dust and sadness.

I have a couple… some I lost earlier than others. The one I really want to mention today is my love for playing music. When I was a kid, our house was always full of music. Both my parents had eclectic tastes- there was everything from folk to rock to musicals to pop playing on the old record player.

In fact, the only thing you never heard in our house was jazz. Perhaps that’s why my love-affair with jazz started. I loved it blasting from my room at all hours, because it was all mine. I was the first and only jazz lover in the house- though I did slowly change their minds!

We also all used to pick up instruments and our house was full of them. Violins, violas, flutes, drums, guitars, penny-whistles… you name it… it was there. The only instruments we formally learned as kids was violin, and a little later, viola. My sister learned the flute. I had wanted to learn the harp – but the idea of getting our hands on such an expensive instrument was laughable… so violin it was.

Then when I was a teen… I had a crush on one of the cool boys who could play guitar… and so I thought if I could learn guitar too, he’d notice me. Not so much. The crush didn’t last very long, but I kept at the guitar for years… never very good as I was a lazy self-teacher… but boy, did I love to play. And sing.

And there we come to it. My lost dream, my lost love. I sang all day every day as a kid. I sang solo and in choirs (Wales is full of them!) – I loved nothing better than to sing. I started writing my own music and performing here and there. I honestly have no idea if I was very good – but that’s not the question of this piece, the point is, I LOVED to do it. It made my heart glad.

Then, one day, I was asked to sing at a big gathering that me and my (long time ago!) ex had been invited to. I got up on stage in front of around 200 people, and as usual, belted out that song. Because, why not?! People clapped and cheered and laughed.

When I came off stage, my ex took me outside. He told me under no circumtances was I ever to sing in public again. Especially not when he was around. I had embarrassed him.

And that was it. A door slammed shut on something that had brought be so much joy and happiness for over 10 years. I was 17/18 years old, and it hit me square in the gut. I never sang in public again. I rarely sing in private either.

Today – at the ripe old age of 34, I have to smile and shake my head at my young self. Now, I’d dump his ass on the spot and head straight back to that stage for an encore. Not because I was any good- but because I had been having fun – and so had the crowd. I also find myself sad. I had a 4 octave range back then. Now- if I care to test it, it’s tiny. Those muscles and all that work I did practicing- has disappeared.

But. And this is a very exciting but. This week, I have been following @Curie’s awesome curation trail and have been inspired left, right and centre by the amazing performances here on Steemit. And here’s what they’ve inspired me to do…

I am going to buy myself a new nylon-string guitar (my fave – I have very weak hands so I find these easier going). And you never know… maybe one day I might build up the courage to try to sing again. For myself. Maybe even for you one day. Not because I’m any good. But because I used to love it. And I think I still would.

What about you? Do you have anything you gave up on, or simply lost along the way? Why not join me, be brave and bring it back into your life!

Until tomorrow,
All my love, Eveningart x


EVENINGART.gif!


Sources: Photo by yours truly. This is a guitar we sold. Ho hum.

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So happy that you're going to debut on the Antics&Dreems hour! hehehehehe @andysantics48.... this is the winner for the Inspired Dreems portion ;)

and of course - as our first interviewee of our show... you get a nice little Dreemie ! hehehehe

I am so thrilled to have you! It will just be like one of our normal conversations where you're speaking, I'm giggling, and there's lots of love flowing around! hehehehehe

This post has been lovingly

Congratulations on winning this week's Inspired Dreems contest! Can't wait for your interview this week, @eveningart! :)

I can't wait either- really looking forward to it. And thank you SO much! E x

Thank you so much my lovely Dreemie- this was such a wonderful surprise and I really appreciate it! Looking forward to our interview :)

  ·  last year (edited)

Congratulations @eveningart !!! So so happy for you - and what a Dreemie post this is. Wow, so inspiring. I also love Jazz.

Oh yes, there is one very important part of me that I nearly lost on the way - the respect towards myself on an aspect of mine, that I can not live without - creating art, that inspires others.

Thank you so much Anutu- and I'm so glad you liked the post. Ahhhh another jazz lover - yayay!

It's an awful feeling - that sense of an essential part of you slipping away. You've absolutely got yours back firmly in hand though, haven't you?! Is this a recent saviour? E x

Yes @eveningart and so true. For sure will never ever more let this part of me slip away. There was a time in the past in my life when I was far to much into commercial interior design. The industry changed an awful lot over the years and not for the better. Good I learned to reflect and act accordingly. Today I am happy to see and feel again the artistic result of (nearly) every single day

The great thing about life is that we have the ability to make changes to it as we go, we may not be able to change the past but we can change the future, we can mold it to include the things we have wanted or lost in the past.

The greatest thing to remember is that we have our own autonomy and sense of self , that we can tap into at any point to reference what it is we are doing and, if we genuinely search ourselves, we will find the truth of what it is we really want in life, then it is a matter of finding aw way to gravitate towards it.

Your post was upvoted by the Copes Upvote Initiative. My account was delegated 5000SP for one month by Make a Minnow on the P.A.L Network. This has increased my voting power to more than 10 times what it normally is, with some assistance of my Superfriends over on Helpie the Copes Upvote Initiative was created for a limited time, please check out the programs which made this possible and for your chance to be selected to have 5000SP delegated to you.

Much love in your direction

~ Cope

Thank you so much- that's incredibly kind of you!
Yes I completely agree with you... it's remembering that we used to love these things... to search back beyond the thing that made us stop, remember the joy, and choose to bring the thing back into our lives in some way.

E x

howdy tonight @eveningart! wow who knew that you were secretly at heart a singer and performer? and I thought you were this shy quiet thing! lol. you wait, once you get into playing again you'll be singing all the time. just remember to make some videos to post!

Yeah... I'm a strange mix of shy and quiet, and loud and outgoing. I'll work on sharing it... but I think it'll take me a while to be able to trust others with it. E x

well once people see and hear how good you are they'll be insisting that you post videos! you just watch.

Thank you for being such an awesome cheer-leader! x

haha! hey eveningart! and thank you for giving me something to cheer about! lol.

That sounds a lot like my youth! Harps are expensive, but I've seen the schematics to make them. If you have a woodworker acquaintance, you can build one for a fraction of the cost!

My sister chose another absurdly expensive instrument: bassoon.i played trombone, so duets weren't a thing...

Have fun with the guitar!

Come now- you could have been ground-breaking with a bassoon / trombone duet!! Do you still play? How about your sister?

My dad did start to make me a harp... but it stalled pretty sharpish and sat staring at me from the pile of scrap in the barn :)
I'll definitely have fun - and thanks for the lovely comment.
E x

Oh no! Not one of those projects! It might make a nice piece of yard art.

My sister still plays a little, but has a crazy-busy job. She's actually been neglecting it, while trying to learn accordion. Come to think of it, the accordion seems to be a better fit ;-)

I haven't played trombone in a long time, for a variety of reasons, but when I moved to Minnesota about a year and a half ago, I bought an inexpensive Cordoba classical guitar. I've been trying to teach myself to play but, to date, I have memorized a whopping five simple Francisco Tárrega pieces. I lived in Spain for a few years and hope to get back. If that ever happens, the first thing I'll do is look for a flamenco guitar teacher.

What type of music do you play on guitar? Do you have any suggestions for some easier classical pieces?

Oh yes- one of those projects!! I think it's probably still buried in there somewhere... under several tonnes of similar projects!

I love that you bought yourself a guitar! My playing when I had one was always incredibly basic- I simply learned cords- and then worked my own finger-picking routes out and went from there... I didn't learn anything classical, but changed some of my favourite pop / rock songs into folksy / classical versions to sing. It was a lot of fun and I can't wait to get my hands on a guitar again!

Do pick yours up - and maybe simply have some fun learning some of your fave songs first?
E x

Oh, I try to play every day. At the very least, I run though the songs I have memorized. Have you heard of Songsterr? My eyesight is in decline and I'm dyslexic, but I do alright with tabs.

Ooh no I haven't- thanks so much I'll check it out! I too am dyslexic but I can handle some simple tabs with practise x

I loved this post!!!! Absolutely loved it ... Not just because you inspired me... But because you (as always) brought me straight into your heart with your writing!!

I've been (as you know in our DMs) thinking of similar things. A few weeks ago, @bluefinstudios and I got some goals hammered out that we are gonna hold each other accountable to... But i did not put the cello in that list!!!

Maybe that's for next year but I'm going to definitely be watching you and you guitar from the sidelines, cheering you on... Making your ex eat his heart out!!!!

So much love for you! ♥️

Thank you so much Dreemie- you know how much that means to me!

Ooh now I want to know what's on both your lists- I'm intrigued, but I do think it's great to have someone who keeps you accountable. Shame the Cello isn't on there, but maybe you can add it in as a sub-clause ;)

I'm going to keep my eyes peeled for a friendly second hand one who needs easing back into music just as much as I do - but I promise to let you know when I have it. As for my ex- (and I mean a long time ago) I won't give him a second thought nor waste any ... anything on him. He means literally nothing.

Big love to you,
E x

I'm glad he no longer has any affect on you! Your OH is a keeper... And I'm only slightly biased because of the interview hehehehehehhee

We will for sure tell you what's on our lists. Well I shouldn't speak for the blue one. Lololol
I'll for sure tell you mine! But I'm still compiling hehehehe

You're absolutely right- my OH really is a keeper :)

Your post was manually selected and voted for by @illuminati-inc (IINC) with support of @curie. About IINC: here. About Curie: here.

Wow- thank you so much, that's a real honour.
E x

Dooo eeet!!! 🤗 I bet it won’t take long to get the muscle memory back, it truly is like riding a bike. And as far as vocals go... it’s never too late. Ever. I had a vocal injury as a toddler and was never expected to talk let alone sing, and through sheer persistence and the grace of God, I can sing. 💕 If I can do it, I am positive you can get your range back. 🙃

That's incredible that you got your voice back - what a thing to have happen to you- but amazing that you can speak and sing! You've given me a boost of hope- thank you so much for your comment. I'll work on it <3 E x

You’re going to do great. 💕

Yay! I look forward to hearing a song about people about asking about word counts being eaten alive by fire breathing dragons! :)

:)

I'll write one especially for you ;) I have more notebook writing to type up... but I imagine I may have passed the 10k mark... I'll give you an update sometime over the next couple of days when I've got it all in! E xx

Nice one! I haven't forgotten about the SBI promise for the 10k landmark :)

Cor- thank you so much - well - I'll update as soon as I can :)

I KNOW you will be amazing - because you are super talented. it is a shame we can't give advice to out younger selves because we would tell ourselves not to listen to jealous, small-minded, insecure individuals who set out to distroy our self-confidence!