ULOG #1- When Depression Plays With Me
ULOG. That's basically what's trending in steemit right now. It's a blog about you. You. Me? Who cares about me? I mean, I love talking about myself. But do they really care?
Depressed. That's me right now. I do not know what's happening. I'm just feeling down. And empty. And restless. I just want to rest. Not permanently huh. I just want to clarify that. I am not a quitter. I am not a loser. I will not yield. God! Help me.
Can I just keep on writing? On talking about me? Let me waste some of your precious time. Just listen. Hear me out. Let me continue. This will pass. This is just a phase. Just let me channel this stupid vibes.
Why? Why am I feeling this way? What triggered this? I was just in the office. Busy. Cramming stuff. Afterwards, with nothing to do, I felt something sucking my energy away. Like the dementors from Harry Potter. So allow me to talk here. In my own ULOG.
I can do this all day. Writing about what I am feeling right now. I feel like a walking zombie. What triggered this? God knows what. Is this because I had have no rest since last week? Because we have travelled to Misamis Oriental and Surigao del Sur last week? By land? Road trip for five long days? God! So tiring.
Is this because of my disease? One year and counting? Dialysis draining me? Is this because I might not get a kidney transplant?
Think of something happy, Abraham. Think! Do not let negative vibes drown you. Think of all the happy memories with your girlfriend. Friends. Family
Why am I like this? Is this because I am losing control of my future?
Is this because I am allowing this to happen? I do not like this. I know life is a choice. I choose to be happy. But I am still drowning in sorrow. Fuck! I might cry in my office. My reputation.
Stupid characteristics. Stereotypes. Toxic masculinity. What is happening?
You're not thinking straight, Abraham. I told you to think of happy thoughts.
Maybe I am allowing this to happen. What is wrong with me?
God help me.
I am now lying on my bed. Thinking of happy thoughts. Still, I feel so empty. I do not want to start my #ulog with this. But...... I just want to rest.
No picture for this post. I'll be better tomorrow.
Good night guys! Good night Abraham. We can survive this stupid feeling.
Sleep well
We will ask for a new day full of brightness for you.
I woke up late. Still tired. Hopefully, Avengers can save me. I am going to watch the movie later.
Prayers can be your friend now bro. There is still hope, I believe. Just believe too. :)
Prayers. Yes! Prayers. I'm here in the office right now. Trying to move on. We are going to watch a movie later. Work and rest. Balanced work and rest. I hope it improves me. Thanks for the concern. God bless,.
That's so great to hear! God bless you too friend!
I came here to ask how you are. I have my answers. We are on the same boat, my dear virtual friend. Let's not make the boat sink. You still have that fight in you. It shouts silently through this post. You are actually lifting me up with your fighting spirit. If only I can carry that burden for you, you know, share a load :D
Keep your head high! That is the expecto patronum for them dementors!