Do You Nag?

Recently I wrote about how I stopped yelling at my kids and my fellow SteemitMama @kaerpediem brought up a very valid point: yelling is terrible, but nagging is also a trap we fall into.

So, what is nagging?

Constantly repeating yourself to get heard. Constant urging to act. Incessant scolding. Trying to control someone with your words.

I assessed my actions after that post, and found, that I am indeed well into nagging territory.

Image by truthseeker08 from Pixabay

It is a tough one, but this is how I have started combating it:

I am making dinner and it is kid x's turn to set the table.

Before: Hey, set the table (...) Im almost done with dinner, set the table. (...) If you don't set the table I am going to (insert random consequence here)

The kid finally starts setting the table: I shouldn't have to tell you so many times to set the table. Bla bla bla bla bla

Now: I am making dinner, please set the table

If it doesn't get done. I just wait. Eventually (and it doesn't take so long cause their nose knows when dinner is ready) they come out to see what gives. Why hasn't mama served dinner yet?

That table gets set... no nagging necessary.

Before: Its bedtime. Time for bed, did you brush your teeth yet, its getting late, turn off the lights, why aren't you in bed yet? What are you waiting for? Give mama a break - she's tired!

Now: Bedtime in 1/2 an hour. 1/2 an hour later, start turning off lights, disconnect the tv if necessary, offer cuddles to the kid who is in pj's with their teeth brushed. Everyone wants mama cuddles at night, nobody wants to get nagged to go to bed.

Current Situation: That bedroom.

Before: Your room is getting messy. You guys need to get cleaning that room. Why haven't you put the dirty clothes in the hamper. I just washed now my hamper is full again!

My hope: Friday night will come. They will want their "weekend treat." Maybe a movie, maybe a pizza, maybe the park, maybe cousin Friday.

Solution: No treat until the room is clean.

I have also cut down on the drivetime scolding. They know when they are running late to school, they see the traffic, they see the red lights, no need to give a commentary on how if so and so had hurried up this wouldn't be happening.

I am also more mindful of how often I use my words. Gone are the days when I need to be constantly talking to my kids so that they can hear my voice and develop better language patterns. Now, I can turn off the running commentary.

Nobody wants to get nagged and nobody wants to be a nag.

Clear expectation + time to let your kids make good choices = non nagging mom.

Do you nag at your (kids, spouses, parents, etc)? Do you get nagged?

---

_{Posted via Marlians.com}