Silence

It didn't hurt. It's been a while since it stopped hurting. At first I thought that my brain would explode in a few seconds if that strange buzzing continued insistently ringing in my ears.

More than pain now was just a nuisance, I guess I get used to that feeling, well if you can't against something, join him.

For most of my life that endless buzzing has follow me, from childhood, during my adolescence to my adulthood.

The people didn't understand, the analgesics didn't help and the x-rays indicated that everything was in order.

Nothing was wrong according to the doctors.

But for me everything was wrong, I assumed that the one that was defective was be me and one day I simply told my mother that the buzz had disappeared. She cried with emotion and I felt a bittersweet feeling, it was the first time in my life that I hid how I felt so as not to worry others and as if it were a chain it happened again, again and again.

At this point, nothing was really surprising, life had lost a bit of its meaning and I didn't know what was keeping me up.

The buzz never stopped, not for a second and something told me that it would never do it, that the day I died that buzz would follow me and the death wouldn't take it away.

The buzz was part of me, I had accepted it, I lived with it, I could do it.

The problem was that it wasn't a life and I never stopped imagining how it would be like if that buzz had never existed.

Would I have been a better person?

Would I have achieved great things?

Would I have been successful?

I don't know and I guess I'll never know. What was clear to me as the water was that I gave more credit to that buzz than it deserved. It was exhausting to never be silent, not once in my whole life but to blame the buzz of my failures, my bad decisions and my lack of initiative was just a simple excuse.

The fault was mine and nobody else's.

But it was easier to blame the buzz.

That's why I was here, on top of a building, with the intention of falling, with the fear of dying.

Silence.

All I asked for was a bit of silence, a second would be enough, half a second would be the glory.

I hoped that death would bring peace.

May peace be accompanied by calmness.

That calm was nothing but silence.

Simple and plain silence was the only thing I asked for.

Under me there were people piled up, cops asking me to think about what I was doing and firemen clearing the area in case I fell. What they didn't know was that I had thought about it, for more than twenty years I had thought it, that only my cowardice had prevented me from doing it.

And without thinking more I took a step forward, falling straight to the asphalt thinking that I would see my whole life pass in front of my eyes but no, there was only darkness and that damn buzz.

The blow against the asphalt was devastating, I felt how each of my bones fractured and how my head rolled along my body on the narrow street.

I lost consciousness for a moment but I knew I was still alive, the buzz was still with me.

One of my eyes was unused, the other could only partially open it. I could not even kill myself properly, next time I should jump off a taller building or take pills. Only at this moment is that I think about how stupid I was for not using sleeping pills and thinking that jumping out of a six-story building was the best idea.

As with everything bad in my life I would blame the buzz.

I was in an ambulance, two paramedics trying to stabilize me, most of my body couldn't feel it.

Great, I'll survive and I'll be paralyzed.

The paramedics talked to each other and I ignored them, that was until I felt that I was out of oxygen.

My partially good eye opened and I turned to one of the paramedics, the boy with one of his hands was pressing the air hose, preventing the oxygen from reaching my mask.

"What are you doing?..." - The tremor in my voice didn't surprise me, I was surprised that I had a voice.

"I thought you wanted to die" - The boy just smiled and the other punch his arm as a warning.

"Don't play with him, we need him alive" - ​​That phrase instead of being reassuring only disturbed me more, I tried to move but my battered body didn't allow it. The first boy pouted at the scolding and released the hose allowing him to breathe. Relieve flood my lungs.

"You're always boring" - The second guy just rolled his eyes.

I didn't understand anything, maybe I had been kidnapped? Would they sell my organs? Could my organs be sold after jumping from a building?

"There are few of us who are still alive, this is barely, but we still need them all to decipher what" they "want us to do"

"I know, I know."

For some reason that exchange of words that made sense to them, for me didn't have any.

"We ...?" - That's the only thing my dying body manages to say, both boys turned their attention to me.

"Did you think you were the only one who heard this buzz?" - The number one boy says it with his teasing and sarcastic tone. I would like to hit it.

"We are destined to something very important, it is not a punishment, it is a blessing, we will be the ones to translate your message." - The other boy seemed to believe completely in it.

The fall of a building. The strange conversation. The buzz that never stopped.

There were enough reasons for the endless headache that lashed me, not wanting to be part of anything let me lead by unconsciousness.

When I woke up again I knew I was in a hospital, for a moment I wanted to believe that the conversation between these strange boys was a dream.

The door opened and both boys entered.

"What if we chatted a little friend?" - The funny guy closed the door with insurance while approached abruptly.

I just decided to close my eyes with resignation, I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.

Worst of all, the buzzing was still echoing in my ears.

My search for silence would have to wait.

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My entry is ready :) i hope you all like it ;3.

Image credits are for @pelusa