Rosa's Dragon- Comedy Open Mic Round 28

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"Mythological." The man said.

The little girl blinked.

The man realized that five year old girls' vocabulary is as limited as his experience with children. He looked around wildly as if to conjure a simpler word to explain to this child.

Really, he thought children were a whole different species, and damned annoying. Supremely ignoring the fact that he too had evolved from said species.

"Not real, Dragons are not real." he said, not without pride.

"Are too." was the the eight year old's unerring reply.

Robert cursed humanity, and the presence of children specifically from age 5-8 on earth. He had nothing against babies(although they blink less) or teenagers but this particular age bracket confounded him. His sibling had apparently deemed death to be preferable to dealing with his stubborn offspring and left him guardianship of his spawn. Guardian seemed like an oxymoron for there was no one to guard Robert from the imagination and stubbornness of his niece.

Satan's little spawn had managed to somehow burn down her room and had conveniently blamed it on a "dragon". She had been trying to convince her hopeless uncle for the past half an hour about Levi her pet dragon.

Robert suddenly thought of a ray of light. His ex loved children, one of the reasons they broke up was her affinity to the enemy. He dialed his ex's number while not under the influence of alcohol. She listened patiently to his incoherent speech about dragons and eight year old persecutors.

Linda came over, for she was truly concerned about any child who was left in the custody of Robert. She gave him a rueful smile at the door which dissolved into a mischievous grin as she said

"Karma."

Linda took away the little girl, Rosa, into a room and listened to her story.

"After mom and dad went died, they sent Levi to me. He is a dragon and he protects me from everything. When uncle forgets to feed me, Levi gets me cake. He reminds me to do my homework and takes me to the school bus in the morning. He is my best friend. But, he's been having problems with his breath. I mean he can't control the fire. He was just trying some breathing exercises I told him about and he accidentally burnt down the kitchen. Uncle Rob got mad. Well, more mad than he is." Rosa looked balefully at her uncle.

"Darling, ask Levi to practice in the garden or the garage. I'll talk to your uncle." said a smiling Linda.

Robert had been listening to this conversation with growing resentment.

"Ask Levi to help around the house too, since he's so much a part of the family." he said sarcastically.

Linda took Robert aside. "You fucking asshole, even if you don't have any idea about kids or dragons, learn a little empathy. The girl lost her parents. And she got stuck with you. So , she made up an imaginary friend. Humour her. Talk to a few people at school, invite them for a party or playdates so she can have real friends. Help her, she's grieving."

Robert felt ashamed of himself. He took Linda's advice and invited a few parents and their children for a party. Rosa looked happy among her new friends, basking in the sunlight in their backyard. He was setting up the barbeque when she called him.

"Thanks Uncle Rob. I am enjoying myself. Timmy has pet unicorn and I told him mine is cooler."

Robert smiled tolerantly and ruffled her hair.

"By the way I told Levi to help out." Rosa said smiling.

Robert walked back to find two well done steaks on the barbeque. he hadn't lit a fire.

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I nominate @officialfuzzy and @krazykrista to make an entry for comedy open mic round 28