RE: Don't TELL Me Who You Are and What You Do-- SHOW Me!
I absolutely think a lot of people make promises or commitments because they think it will make them look good or please other people. My perception (and experience) of the problem with that is that when you always offer or say "yes," you end up overextended, with little energy or ambition to fulfill many (if any) of those commitments. I also think that a lot of people feel guilty for saying "no" when they're already overwhelmed with commitments or obligations and agree just because they don't want to feel guilty or like they're letting someone down. It's definitely one of the struggles I've been working on the past few years...allowing "no" to be a perfectly acceptable answer, or simply saying nothing at all. Thanks for the brain food with this post and reminder that intentional behavior is what I'm always striving for.
Feeling overextended was definitely the bane of my existence for many years. Many moons ago, I read a book called "The Disease to Please" and that was helpful... I operated under the mistaken assumption that the way to get ahead in life was to be uber-helpful and available to people. Of course, the downside to making yourself "indispensable" (especially in a work situation) is that everyone comes to you when they need something... and you get completely snowed under.
A friend of mine once reminded me that "NO is a complete sentence," and I have taken that somewhat to heart.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment!
Ahh...yes, I can absolutely relate to being the "go to girl" at work! Early in my career, I was angling to be that person, and now, I'm actively working toward unloading all of that, which is TOUGH! I'm interested in taking a read of the book you mentioned. I found "The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome" by Harriet Braiker on Amazon. Is that the one?