God gives many challenges but also shows S/He's right there with you every step of the way...

After saying goodbye to my Grandmother yesterday, who passed away a few days ago, I went to sleep feeling sad and alone. Eventhough it was good to have seen her, laying in her bed in her old room, that still smelled of her, surrounded by her trinkets. I had brought her her favourite flowers without knowing it, because the image of them popped in to my head that morning, right after sleep. When I started picking different flowers to the ones she had asked me, wild ones by the side of the orad on the way to the train, I distinctly felt that she wasn't satisfied with those flowers. I began to understand that it was her wish to have the flowers that popped in to my head in the morning but wasn't sure if it was even the season for them. When I got to the flower shop close to her house, they were standing there, right at the entrance for a good price and in the colour she wanted.

These are the flowers my Grandmother asked for: Pioenrozen. They have more leafs then other roses, no thorns and round flowerbuds and smell very mellowy sweet.

When I brought them over to her bedside, my mom said that they had been her favourite flowers and I felt a confirmation that I had received the message correctly and smiled. The flowers where still in bud, but while we were talking and singing to her sweet little body laying in the bed as if her soul was still there, they opened up! Within half an hour they were fully open! It was a beautiful private visit and I had a nice exchange with some family, but even though I wasn't feeling sad about her passing but rather happy for her, it still does something to a human being, when someone close passes and I couldn't really handle coming home to an empty house after that and had to cry.
Yesterday evening was the evening before the liberation day celebration that happens on the 5th of may in Holland and the evening before people think of those who died in worldwar 2.
When I woke up this morning the cloth that hangs on my headboard was moved aside all in a frumpled bunch, I then remembered that I had had that dream again.
I have a returning dream, or actually I kind of wake up thinking I am locked up in a space without windows and it is pitch black, I then start groping around to see where I am and if there is a way to get out. I had done that again last night, hence the headboard cloth that had been moved to the side. I remember touching the wall, to feel where I was and the fear I felt that the wall was holding me back from getting out. Then I saw the faint light coming through my curtains and the silhouet of the trees and I remembered where I was. With pounding heart I layed down again.
I wondered why this dream had come again this night. And wondered if it had had anything to do with my grandmother having passed away but didn't get a yes on that. When I checked if it was old past life memories I got a yes. I then let it go again.
It wasn't until just now when I read an article about a woman who survived a concentration camp by dancing for the nazi'z, that I realised something.
I just had to read that article, I told myself: 'It's going to upset you, why don't you watch something fun?', but no, I wanted to read it.
I have known for some time that I have been in a a concentration camp in a previous life and could very well relate to the things written in the article. After I was done reading it, grief came up and out and while I was sobbing, I linked my dream about being trapped in a room without windows, not knowing how I got there, to the concentration camp memory I have. It happened there. And it came up because many people were thinking of the many dead worldwar 2 had caused. it makes sense now.

I had a dream after that about a black lady at crone age eating sweet confiture fruits and she asked me if I never had this strawberry sweet she was eating. I told her that I didn't and she took me down the stairs of the basement to show me the sweet fruits that were stocked there. I knew the basement had just been cleaned and renovated and it looked wonderful, the floor was yellow and there were fridges with good foods in them.
I also put the puzzle pieces together while I'm writing this. The basement stands for the subconsciousness ad as I have been doing a lot of transformational work the past time I am happy to see that it got clean and there is nourishment there. This is a happy sign. And even though I'm complaining a lot to God for giving me too many challenges at once, S/He always takes such good care of me. And I feel thankful. All is well.

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Love Clara @wombloom

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