I wrote about Rites of Passage last week, something that is so vital to our growth . Our lives are a gift yet so many people struggle with the life they have, struggle with their choices, struggle with their identity. Life can be so painful for some, indeed life is meant to be painful at times. Pain and suffering go hand in hand with living, but there is a huge misconception about the actually place it has within our lives.

So many things can happen within our life and we tend to either ignore it or dwell on it too long. This idea of honouring ourselves and our life experiences is so alien to some. Indeed so much focus is put on how we look on the outside that what is happening on the inside is ignored, is frowned upon. Our lives are full of major transitions, yet how many of us identify them, make time to embrace them and learn from them in a healthy and productive way. Life is meant to be celebrated, the good and the bad and it is meant to be done with others around us.

It is our communities that are meant to come together and honour these transitions in life with us, honour them, celebrate them and in doing so support us, support one another. Yet it is missing. Okay religion stepped in, ( or in some places stole them) in regards to some of these, especially birth and unions and death. But in religion it is not so much about you, but more about what you can do for your chosen faith. It is more about you support for that religion. This is not the way to honour your life. This is not the way to strengthen and empower yourself.

Another way that seems to be a socially accepted form is celebrating our many transitions in life, is alcohol. I know when I was younger this was the only way one celebrated becoming an adult. But surely we should be celebrating in a way that is creative. Because the call is there to celebrate, but surely it should not be in such a destructive way. We are creators after all but so many of us have lost our way. Especially when our celebrations are based around harming our bodies, instead of celebrating them.

For me, celebrating your Rite Of Passage is something that empowers you, something that lifts you up and carries you into the next stage of your life. Yet so many do not acknowledge them and by doing so ignore their bodies, ignore their inner voice that is calling for recognition. Throughout history, our ancestors celebrated the different stages of their lives. From birth, to puberty, to adulthood, to unions, creating a family, all the way to death and even more in between. So what happened?

What happen, is that we were taught over time, to focus more on those that were around us, we were taught that caring for yourself, putting yourself first was in fact selfish. We were taught to reach outwards and away from what really matters. Suddenly the things we own are more important, being seen as successful was more important. Self empowerment is not something that is encouraged. Instead we are told to walk the line, to fit in, to conform.

Of course there is talk of community, but that is more about surveillance than actual supporting one another. Rituals and ceremonies suddenly were primitive and a thing of the past. Indeed what better way to celebrate adulthood then getting a loan or a mortgage, then you were on the way to being someone. All this focus on that which surrounds us, that which ties us down instead of liberating and freeing us. We are now a people who are tied to the things we own, in fact they own us. So this idea of progress of moving forward, really was moving away from ourselves, moving away from what empowers us. We need to stand together with our communities and honour ourselves. Actually make the time to meet your true self, accept and love your true self.

We are not going to become empowered unless we do this, unless we make the time to meet with ourselves when things change in our lives, when we go through the many transitions in life. To strip away the many layers we have wrapped ourselves up in. This idea may scare some people, but if we are to move forward, to become who we are meant to be, then we need to love ourselves. Love ourselves for all that we have done and who we have become. This is why Acknowledging and celebrating our rites of passage are so important.

This is why I write about it and why I put this question to the Tribe. I would also love to hear your thoughts and your experiences. I will be writing about the different ways in which we can celebrate, the ceremonies and the rituals we can create in the coming weeks.

All photos are mine, from the different ceremonies within my life.

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