From an early age, I knew that I didn’t feel or think the same way as the other children did and if I’m honest I don’t even think like my own children in some ways it seems.
I always took things really personally and other things I learned to ignore and/or bury so deep that I forgot about them for many years.
I later found that I had empath tendencies and accepting this has been a long and difficult path, as I can get absorbed into helping other people (also part of being an INFP-T).
But the dreams of money and big houses didn’t ever really fit unless I could invite all the homeless to stay in it too.
Unfortunately, at the moment the reality of the world and the type of people in it means that this is not something I could consider with two young children and looking after their welfare, but the want, no the need to help, be useful has never left me.
The desire to leave the ways of the world far behind is still very strong and looks to be in my grasp one day, but some (a lot) of personal development and funds needed first to 'escape' the chains of modern life.
In day to day life (away from the computer), I have found few people who are not concerned with bright shiny things and gossiping behind peoples backs.
Steemit and some of the people I have met here has shown me that there are multiple ways at looking at the world and I’m grateful that now I’m not so narrow-minded, but have a more open view, especially about religion and the alternative ways of living.
It has been like my life was on hold for 10 years, just getting by day by day, keeping it together, with a dream that evaporated out the window.
Somewhere I found the courage to make a stand and change my situation, as it really wasn’t going to change just by hoping that one day it would. So the last 18 months have been life-changing and I know the process is far from complete.
My reserves of love and kindness are replenishing and almost back to full reserves and I try daily to find ways and means to help others as much as I can.
I have been able to help and support a few people with Steem and by being an ear, when no-one else will listen.
Listening and understanding is my strength, as I can get where they are coming from without judgment.
But for the moment, I have another mission stuck in my head and that is to make a million and give it away.
I ought to deal with a few debts etc first, but I find it difficult to look after me when I am blessed with a roof and food on the table and when I get a little spare, I tend to give it away.
I also need enough cash to make some more environmentally (and child) friendly choices for the future wellbeing of myself, my children and the world, so there are a lot of decisions coming and to make.
Tribe Steem Up is somewhere I can get both support and inspiration in this formative period in my life and I am grateful for that.
I’m learning all the time and I am beginning to listen to my gut feeling on some actions, even though they may not be logical or what others would do.
I also don’t give up easily. If I think there is a reason/fate to carry on doing something I will, against all odds and advice.
Thank you for accepting me in the fold, quirks and all.
I’ve spent a lifetime on the edge looking in, I’m slowly learning to dip in more than my big toe.
And when crypto picks up, the dream of being able to earn a living from writing and making people at least question the world a little more and that there are alternatives that make can people more content, help us look after each other and the earth.
And here at Tribe Steem Up are a group of people on the same journey, at different stages, which is awesome.
Thank you @tribesteemup for this opportunity.