Heavy day

Heavy day. It was lived. Something caught up to me which has been creeping behind for years. I aged. I witnessed my daughter of 6 years age maturing, her toddlerness faded. The very very young lady spoke differently. She interrupted less. I yelled at some people who are very close to me. I felt sorry. I broke. I apologized. Still hurting, carrying a heavier load of sadness than I have dared to lift in years, a storm came. As the leaves turned upside down, I could hear my yet uncried tears in it. It cradled me as I was it's eye. Both of the flagpoles in this yard snapped in half. I talked to the storm, we calmed oneself. My daughter and the dog and I went outside to feel the new coolness in the air. We looked at what is growing in the garden. We saw that a neighbor is cutting down a tree in their yard. She asked me why. I said, "I don't know and it's none of our business. Besides, we can't do anything about it". We turned to walk back inside. She stopped and pulled on my shirt, and as I stopped she looked back at it and whispered, "but mama, it's still alive!".
The thing caught up to me. Now that it's here, we can be friends. I like not feeling it behind my back anymore. It's much easier to look forward when you're done looking over your shoulder. 💙