Not Everything is Beautiful: Serious FOMO & Being Roombound

So last night this happened - Agung erupted with a massive bang about 9 pm, but I didn't here it as I was doubled over in the bathroom in pain between throwing up. I don't know what it is about this volcano but she's having a wierd effect on me both emotinally and physically.

If you've ever had a UTI (most woman I know willl feel me at this point) now imagine it with a tummy bug, here called Bali Belly, over the top of it. As I write now, I'm nibbling dry crackers and feeling every muscle in me ache, and hoping I'll feel better tomorrow. I have a serious FOMO - fear of missing out - and I'm NOT patient with illness. I have too much to do to be sick - swim with fishes, for one. Anyway, I'm counting my blessings that I'm staying here and not going to Nusa Penida as planned - no way could I have done that boat trip today.

So yesterday Jamie went on a mission to find me every alternative remedy he could find for this infection. Amed doesn't have a well stocked chemist or a doctor, so natural remedies were the only thing going. With a UTI you have to drink a LOT of water, and we added some kombucha with ashitwaba that we found from a Swedish ayurvedic therapist who has a beautiful garden and accomodation set up here. The garden's gorgeous - there's a stone labrinth there for meditating, something I've always wanted to make in my garden, though I can't imagine the weeds. But I digress. The thought of walking in circles right now is making me queasy.

Other remedies included papaya and papaya seeds, mustardy and peppery, from the trees next door and teased down with a bamboo stick. The manager of the accomodation here also found me some bicarb soda, which she has to get from Denpasar miles away. She goes there shopping onces a month, and picks up things that you just can't buy around here.

By mid afternoon I'm all googled out, and starting to worry about what tropical bug I've picked up here. My head is exploding with pain and I'm starting to feel nauseous. J. and I jump into a taxi - better now than in the middle of the night. I'd rather, at this point, be safe than sorry. I'd rather cure my body naturally but on the same hand I'd rather have antibiotics just in case. The hospital is 45 minutes away up a very windy road. I breathe and look at the rice fields.

In the hospital I'm in the triage waiting for my results when an ambulance pulls in, and the woman in there is brought screaming into the bed next to mine. We can't see her but the screaming is awful. I start to cry - I could never be in medicine. I couldn't bear people's pains. I squeeze Jamie's hand tight and send prayers to this stranger through the curtain.

I'm given a positive result for some nasty bugs, some antiobiotics, panadol and anti-nausea pills. I have to eat first, so plan to take them when I get home. The drive back though is hellish - I sit with a plastic bag on my lap and try my best not to vomit, but this is quite unsuccessful. I manage to catch most of it in a bag and breathe until the driver pulls over and I rush for the door to vomit again onto the street, projectile being an understatement.

This sets the pattern from 7pm until 3 am in the morning - breathe (badly) doubled up in pain on the floor (I can't bear the bed) and then convlusive, painful tummy convulsions. Jamie forces water and charcoal tablets down me, so then I'm just vomiting black water. Eventually, he finds some lavender oil and some sugary ginger tea which reminds me of flat ginger beer at home, just what I'd normally have if I'm ill. Somehow the two familiar remedies sooth me and I finally fall asleep.

In the morning our mate sends us pictures of the eruption we missed. It send plumes of ash and smoke 2000 metres high and set the hillside alight, lava flowing from the top. She is quiet again today, and I will her to breathe too - I can do without the drama right now.

If you plan on travelling to a place like this, please remember to do what we forgot to do this time:

• take probiotics for a few weeks leading up to departure, and when you arrive.
• have oregano oil in your first aid kit
• pack Ural
• pack lavender as it will help relax you even if it's not going to stop the pain
• drink shit loads of water
• watch where you eat, carefully - crowded restaurants that have a high food turnover are best, and make sure they wash salads in filtered water.
• pack other herbal remedies for any eventuality like cranberry tablets

UTI and food poisoning or bali belly are so common here - I can't believe I got both at once.

The ayurvedic therapist told Jamie that I shoud 'let go' - in Chinese medicine, this is due to the bladder meridian which is all about storing fear - I wonder if that has any relationship to me losing it over holding my breath whilst freediving? To overcome fear, you must of course let go.

Every thing is a lesson.

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