Timberline Lodge, A perfect vacation doesn’t have to be pretty at every moment

“Work cures everything.” – Henri Matisse

Not sure Matisse was right with this quote. While it is generally true for me - at least the sitting down to the creative part of my work cures most everything, it is not a cure for too many 80 hour work weeks!

For that, the only cure is to get away for a few days. We decided to throw caution to the wind and do what is extremely rare for us - take a real vacation. It’s been a grueling 2 years and we felt rubbed raw by life and had a need to be surrounded by inspiration - both natural and human-made - and to be able to let go and rest our minds and bodies. A few days to relax at one of our favorite local spots Timberline Lodge was just what the doctor ordered.

Beautiful 1-1/2 drive, Mt Hood in the distance

Rob is the planner and mapper

Lucy is the worrier - what’s happening? Maybe I’d better sit in my backpack to make sure I’m not left behind.

We stopped early afternoon and took a mellow 3 mile walk around gorgeous Trillium Lake which is at 3,500 ft elevation.

For some perspective, the photo below is taken from Trillium Lake and the red arrow shows Timberline Lodge at 6,000 ft where we are headed.

Perfect day, perfect evening. We arrived and hung out enjoying our room, dinner, and walking around outside as the sun was setting with a full harvest moon rising.

lodge from the front

lodge from the back

I love it here. I’ve come here every few years at least for the day for most of the 25 years I’ve lived in Portland. Nested about halfway up my beloved Mt Hood, this WPA rustic resort was made with incredible creativity, ambition and vigor. It has the unique blend of a very rustic lodge where you can walk out the door and hike the Pacific Crest Trail, look up at the top of Mt Hood RIGHT THERE during all weather and light over your morning coffee or from your bed or if you prefer, you can go out to the hotter for a luxurious soak under the stars or in the middle of the day all year round. You are RIGHT ON the mountain…close as I’ll get given that I don't have the ambition to climb the summit.

It’s incredible experience to be surrounded by the completely handmade everything in and around the lodge which is all immersed in the raw magnificence of very powerful nature. This perfect balance soothes our tired minds because everything is easy and taken care of (food, and creature comforts) while our spirits are lifted by the beauty, craftsmanship and creativity in evidence everywhere.

Mt Jefferson to the south is always present

A brief overview of the place - it was built in 1937 as a part of FDR’s Worker’s Project Administration which was a depression era program to employ unskilled men as well as artists and creatives of all ilks who would otherwise have remained starving and homeless. People were put to work building nationally funded projects like roads (for example the gorgeous Columbia River Highway), and other places that would benefit the public like Timberline Lodge.

People were put to work according to their skill levels and when building this lodge they had no machines…every one of the giant timbers were cut, hauled and hoisted by men and horses. They completed the building and furnishing of the lodge in 18 months which is unheard of especially for such a solid structure!

So much talent and ingenuity went into this place on every level and while I won’t go into much of the history, I have always been moved with how Margery Hoffman Smith (who supervised the furnishings and craftspeople) looked deeply within the region to employ every artist she could find. For example, the man who the paintings of local flora that are in every guest room had been living out of a cardboard box subsisting on dried uncooked beans and was close to losing his mind. This project saved the lives and families of many while giving them meaningful work putting their talents towards an ambitious and magnificent endeavor. To me, this is a beautiful thing and I wish we as people would support our government in putting forth these sorts of solutions!

There has always been a mix of guests here from hardcore hikers, skiers (training for the Olympics and others taking advantage of year-round skiing on the glacier patch) and people like us who like to hike and use the hot-tub and eat good food while gazing up the mountain and not work too hard at any of it.

We park the car and stay on site for 3 days without making ourselves responsible for anything except to enjoy ourselves.

Historically after an intense work period, I have always gone through some kind of a transition. Life is busy and full and there doesn't always seem time or space to fully digest and feel what is happening so when I begin to relax and have some extra time, any unprocessed material arises whether I like it or not. Sometimes it’s an emotional release or I’ll get really tired and have to sleep a lot. Either way, I will have some revelations that give me a new perspective and I always feel more whole on the other side . This time I remembered that I would likely have an emotional meltdown or something as I began to relax so when it came, I was able to help myself much better than I ever have before.

Sure enough, it came on the second day as we were on the trail hiking the PCT. The hike was so fun all the way out to zig zag canyon which was much more amazing that either of us expected. Like most everything on this mountain, it’s hard to capture unless you are a photographer, but this will show you the canyon as an iPhone sees it.

A creek at the base and ripping winds at the top. All the way out we were happily chatting, taking photos and thoroughly enjoying the gorgeous scenery - Mt Jefferson on one side in the distance and Mt Hood next to us on the other - but we didn’t realize that we had been walking downhill most of the way which meant that the return would be uphill.

Did I mention that we were both crazy exhausted from pushing ourselves at work? After we turned around for the 2 miles heading back up to the lodge, I was immediately huffing and puffing. After about 15 minutes of discomfort, the good old meltdown came upon me and I felt a seething boiling rage. It was a fairly irrational rage actually - I was mad at my dog Lucy who I was carrying on my back because she has arthritis. She was tipping to one side of her backpack on my back making it feel lopsided digging into my back and really uncomfortable to carry, mad at Rob for not offering to carry more (actually I think he had offered but not exactly at the moment I needed it, god forbid), and so many other nonsensical reasons.

What was different this time from all of my other vacation meltdowns was that I had perspective for once. I thought “ok I’m angry and either I can make this about whatever it’s sticking to now (Rob and Lucy) or I can look deeper and get to the bottom of it.” I could use this as a chance to heal some deeper issues. I believe that most of the feelings we have are the result of things that occurred when were were young and current happenings just poke and ignite those old wounds and injustices.

So I told Rob to walk ahead (through clenched teeth) and I’d catch up and proceeded to have a full on angry crying fit arms thrusting, feet stamping, tears falling. Thankfully I didn’t encounter anyone else on the trail at that point. Although it was a very messy process, I’m really proud that this time I was able to feel my anger and get it out rather than to take it out on loved ones; to get really angry at some crappy things that happened to me as a kid when I truly didn’t have power to stand up for myself, to understand what was happening nor have the support I needed. Once the feelings subsided I could reclaim my life now a little more remembering that I have power to treat myself better than my family did, I can ask for what I need, take care of myself and be good to myself.

And after this healing I eventually met up with Rob (he waited for me further up the trail) and I actually enjoyed the uphill challenge the rest of the way back to the lodge where we got into a luxurious hot tub, lay down for a nap followed by epic sex and a delicious dinner. Now that’s a good vacation! And we still had another day to enjoy which we did and with much more ease.

We came home refreshed and relaxed and it was hard to believe it had only been 3 days…we felt a world away from where we had been before leaving.

Thanks for reading my story! Be well and stay close by for more art in a few days....