The Dark Side of Travelling

Hey Steemians,
So this topic has become especially relevant of late, mostly because I have been spending a lot of time with friends and family back in Australia. Being home really brought to attention several things that I had neglected to think about. This post is sort of a compilation of some of my key reflections and thoughts.

To give you some quick context, I have been travelling on and off (mostly on) for the last 6 years. I have visited over 20 different countries and lived in 3 different continents. Thankfully my job allows me to work casually and remotely. Having the flexibility to work where and when i want.

Now that you know a bit about my travel history, let me start with the below:

Instagram is Propaganda!

Every time I see family members or an old friend, they always start by saying "wow you look like your having the time of your life"... where they get that assumption is from Social Media. I personally despise facebook, but so that my family know im alive and well i post regular photo updates to them. Unfortunately this gives them the impression that my life is always amazing and I am having a 24/7 party.

Travelling is not always fun, yes of course there are "pinch me" moments that you will remember for ever but A'LOT of my time I'm really lonely. Just because I see loads of different places or live in foreign and exotic cities doesnt mean I'm instantly surrounded by new friends. Solo travelling is 95% lonsome, very rarely do i meet like minded people i want to befriend along the way, and when you do your paths usually dont cross for long.

So my takeaway from this point is, don't assume someone is having the time of their life just because their travel blog/facebook/instragram appears that way.

Friends don't wait!

This one probably hit me the hardest on my recent trip back to Australia. Admittedly I have not seen many of my high school or college buddies for years, i always felt connected to them and therefore when i returned home, i expected things to be the same as they were before i left.

I was wrong, friends move on, you cant expect them to stay around while you're not there. Sure it is a romantic idea but they have lives, and need to fill the void of your absence with new friends who can be there for them. Unfortunately its quite obvious when this happens because you realize you know nothing about your friends anymore. Some have had break ups, depression, suicide attempts and while you were over seas exploring they sought comfort from new friends. Pushing you out of the picture. Even more sad is once you actually reflect on your friendship you see it as a nostalgic thing rather than a current one, making you question the legitimacy of your friend ship first hand. The scary thing for me was, once i began questioning my college and high school friendships i realized i had absolutely no best friends.

Quality or Quantity?

So this famous phrase "quality over quantity" is something to think about. When you travel you open yourself up to making infinite new connections and acquaintances, in my experience 99% of these will simply stay as acquaintances. If you want quality friendships, relationships and connections, then you have to be sitting still long enough to nurture them.
Unfortunately there is no time to make quality friends or relationships on the road, which brings me to my next point, don't be afraid to "weed the garden". What i mean by this is, its better to remove acquaintances or non-quality friends from your life so you can put more effort and attention into the friends that do actually matter. Maybe making better effort to stay in contact with friends back home for instance.

Running or Chasing?

I think this is more a personal reflection than a general statement, but when i consider the reasons why i traveled so much, i really put it down to me not facing my problems. I was in a way running away or escaping a difficult world back in Australia. I had some pretty life altering events occur in my early 20s that sent me into a really bad place where i didnt think i could come out of. Rather then seek help i just thought i would escape and try and out run my problems. News flash 6 years later.... it doesn't work. The problems you were trying to escape always catch up on you.

In saying the above, i also understand people who chase that "travel bug" feeling or sense of adventure. I used to feel that when i started, but now its really worn down. I suppose in either scenario there is an unhealthy extrinsic desire.

Was it worth it?

To answer this question i try and think back to key points during my adventures and ask myself if i can remember the highlight that meant the most to me.
In some instances there are moments that jump out to me and i couldn't be more fond of them. In others i literally struggle to remember any detail at all. For that reason i don't consider my extended travel being worth it. It goes back to that old saying "too much of a good thing can make you sick".

If i had traveled less, i think i would cherish those trips more. Travelling now is almost like a souvenir collection for me. More fascinated with going to new countries simply to add them as a number on my list. As if they were boy scout badges or notches on my belt. Obviously this is not a good reason to seek travelling. There should be real motive and desire to visit somewhere.

I hope my points have illuminated some of the negatives to travelling and can help you make more informed decisions in the future.