This is Thailand. Chapter 11: Chicks with dicks. Part 2.

I love Bangkok, but that doesn’t mean that I have to be there all the time. My sister – Kasia – was coming to visit me, so I used the occasion to get out of the city. I assumed that rescuing Piam’s father from her troubles meant that we weren’t at war anymore. We asked him to take care of Apple for a few days and he agreed. Of course, on the condition that we (I) would pay for her food. Grandfather won’t feed granddaughter with his own money.

Link to the previous part: This is Thailand. Chapter 11: Chicks with dicks. Part 1.

-Hi Guy, Marek here. - I said, putting on the croakiest voice I could manage.
-Hey Marek. How are you doing?
-To be honest, not so good. Fever, cough... I’m losing my voice... I need to take a few days off. Is that alright?
-Sure, get well soon. I’ll take your classes.
-You’re an angel, Guy! Thanks!
-Mai pen rai! No worries.

I hung up and took the bags to the car. Half an hour later we were on our way down to Chumphon, a small town from where we could catch a fast catamaran to Ko Tao – The Turtle Island.
Koh Tao is the smallest in the famous triangle of islands of Koh Tao-Koh Samui and Koh Phangan. The first settlers named it after its geographical shape which resembles a turtle. The first travellers arrived here in the 1980s and news spread quickly about its beauty. A few decades later and it was one of the most popular bases for scuba divers and 20-something backpackers who wanted to get to the beach.

After more than two hours, our catamaran reached the shallow waters surrounding Koh Tao. Most of the passengers that had been sitting in the air-conditioned rooms, rushed to the viewing terraces to admire a rock covered with lush, green tropical plants, surrounded by white, sandy beaches. I looked around and quickly realized why this place was so popular with scuba divers. It was the most transparent water, like in the cleanest swimming pool, and was full of fish of every shape, color and size.

We left the boat and found our way to the hawkers which offered us cheap beds, transport and trips around the island. From a bunch of darker-skinned guys, I picked a calm, older guy who was holding a sign with my name on. One moment later, we were in the back of his dark blue Toyota Hilux, heading to the Koh Tao Resort – a four star hotel located on one of the beaches. A partially dirt and partially paved road, winded among the evergreen hills. Rainy season had already lasted for two months, but despite this we were being attacked by merciless rays from the tropical sun in a cloudless blue sky. Piam hid in a corner of the pick-up to avoid an unwanted sun tan, while Kasia did the opposite and bathed in the glory of the huge, natural bulb.

Koh Tao Resort was four star only, seemingly, according to their own rules. Half wooden, half concrete bungalows were not as spacious not luxurious as the website made them seem. The water pressure in the bathroom resembled a crying cat, meaning pitiful showers, something I’d never experienced in four-star hotels before.

A beautiful, white, empty beach leading straight to the almost transparent, blue water of the Bay of Thailand, improved our moods.

-Wow, I’ve never seen anything like this. - said Kasia.
-I’d heard of the amazing beaches in the south, but I didn’t know they were so great. I wonder why everybody is swimming in the pool? - asked Piam.
-I don’t know, maybe the sea is full of Great White Sharks - I shouted, running into the water, which for a few hundred yards didn’t get any deeper.
-Stop it! Don’t scare me! - shouted Piam.

I quickly learned why everyone was in the swimming pool and not the ocean, upon contact with the water. The temperature resembled my grandmother’s soup and didn’t seem to be cooling at all from the heat attacking it from the sun. We had some fun in the sea and followed the beaten track straight to a perfectly cooled-down swimming pool, where we spent the rest of the day.

-Sister. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? - I asked, looking in the direction of powerful quads on huge, all-terrain tyres.
-Sightseeing of the island?
-Yeah! It would be great to do something.

Piam didn’t look convinced, but was afraid to protest. We paid 800 baht for each ATV vehicle. Kasia left her passport as a security deposit, and a moment later we were riding these powerful machines to drive across the most difficult surfaces. We drove slowly through a town with only one main road. On both sides of the road were identical, low-rise buildings housing shops, bars and restaurants. Groups of Thais sat in the shadows on the pavement or napped on small benches, while tourists strolled slowly among the stalls full of souvenirs, postcards and clothes of questionable quality.

At an intersection, we turned right following a signpost to Mango Bay. We left the town, which was marked by the end of a paved road. -Hold on! - I shouted to Piam and increased my speed up a steep hill leading to the jungle. Piam hugged me so tightly that I could barely breathe. Despite the heat, the road leading through a thick, tropical forest was wet and slippery. I slowed down at the top to see with satisfaction that my sister beat the hill as smoothly as I had. We drove downhill on the other side. The weight of the quad with two adults on it, meant that we were gaining speed even though I was pumping hard on the breaks. My heart started to pound like crazy on the sight of quickly approaching trees. At the bottom, just before a sharp curve, I released one brake and stopped the quad perfectly in the jungle’s mud. Piam shouted and I smiled wildly. This is life!

Further down the road to Mango Bay there was a muddy path that was occasionally broken by white, narrow concrete. We beat a few more steep hills to reach an improvised car park consisting of a shadowy field covered with trees and signs informing us that cars, quads and motorbikes were forbidden to drive here. Somewhere down beneath the thick trees, we could make out the blue aura of the warm sea. We went down this way on steep, concrete stairs. They were hot from the heat and humidity trapped between the trees. Sweat was flowing down my body faster than the water from the hotel’s shower. The closer we got to the water, the more I wondered how we would get back.

Dead tired from the stairs, the sun and the tough ride out here we landed in a bar of some unknown hotel from where we could see Mango Bay in its full glamour. We tanked ourselves up with a litre of almost frozen water, enjoying the views of the transparent, blue waters of the Gulf of Thailand, contrasted beautifully by the lush, green forest around us. Kasia and I bathed in the hot ocean for a while, as Piam rested in the bar. The sea threw us a few times against sharp rocks, which wasn’t too pleasant. We finished bathing, loaded up on more water from the bar and began the murderous climb back up the stairs, which was exactly as difficult as we had imagine it would be. Panting heavily, we reached the top, trying to catch our breath and drink water at the same time, which wasn’t easy. We sat on our powerful, 4-wheeled horses and began the drive back to civilization. This time Kasia went ahead of me and quickly disappeared from sight even though Piam spent the entire journey bitching that I was going too fast.

I beat a sharp curve, to find Kasia quad standing back on two wheels. My sister had a considerable amount of scratches and blood on her back. I slammed the brakes and stopped my machine next to her.
-Are you alive Sis?
-I think so.
-What the hell happened?
-I was driving up the hill, and the quad just overweighed me from the back. It went up on two wheels and I managed to jump out of the way. I hurt myself a bit doing it though.
-More than a bit, but you’ll live. What do you mean it out-weighed you?
-It just did it. It’s so steep here that it’s impossible to drive up. Fuck it, I’m not driving anymore! - she said, shaking like a dog shitting razor blades.
-Relax, we’ll come up with a solution.
-You come up with one! I’m not going anymore.
-Sit down, drink some water, relax.

I tried to remain calm, but the sight of a quad standing on its back wheels, along with two panicking women, one being my wounded sister and other my girlfriend, didn’t help me to logically analyze the situation. I observed the steep, paved hill and wondered how it was possible we had gone down, but couldn’t go up. We decided to try and bring the two machines up, walking on its side and adding a bit of speed. If we had lost control of them, we could always jump back. My sister was standing on the left, Piam on the right of the standing quad. We put it back into its normal place while holding the brakes. 1-0 to us. I launched the engine.

-We walk on three. The higher we are, the more power I will add to make sure the whole thing doesn’t go backwards. But we walk easily and slowly.
-What if it goes back?
-Let it go and jump back. If you try to catch it, it will break your bones. It weighs more than five hundred pounds. You won’t stop it yourself.
-Alright. I’m scared...
-It will be fine. - I said, without really being sure that it would.
-One... two... three - We started to walk slowly as I manipulated the acceleration button. We walked up a few yards, only to lose control of the vehicle - Let go! - I shouted to Kasia, who smoothly jumped to the side.
The vehicle rolled down and ended in a ditch. Damages? Broken rear light and scratched bumper. The familiar sound of an engine came from behind us as another ATV with a couple on the back, appeared.
-What happened here? - Asked a tall, blonde guy with a Scandinavian accent.

Kasia told him the story, which didn’t seem to impress him much – what could you expect from a descendent of the Vikings? You couldn’t say the same about his girlfriend, who joined the two other panicking girls. Norman, as was his name, drove his quad up the hill, going as quickly as possible and leaning over the steering wheel. He did the same with mine, and my sister’s machine.
-Will you make it now? - he asked with the face of James Bond.
-Yes... thank you. - Said my sister.

Judging by the look on his girl’s face, he was going to have a good night tonight. We sat on our horses again and drove back towards the town. We drove much slower and more carefully this time. Kasia stopped in front of another hill, which not only was as steep as the previous one but had a curve in the middle as well.
-Oh no! What now? - she asked hopelessly.
-The same. We have to bring our quads up like Norman did. -
-You do it! I’m scared!

I didn’t have much of a choice. I jumped on Kasia’s machine and pushed hard on the accelerator. The engine roared like a wounded lion and gradually began to gain speed. I reached the hill and leant forward as much as possible to keep it going. I was almost at the top when I felt the wheels beginning to lose grip. I put more weight on the front and made it to the top. I came back down and did the same with my quad. We got back to the rental place with the speed of a retired stuntman in a wheelchair.

-What happened? - asked an old Thai lady on seeing the damage.
-It weighted out on me going up the hill. - said Kasia.
-What hill? Where have you been?
-In Mango Bay. - I answered.
-In Mango Bay? You shouldn’t be taking quads up there! There is no road there! - this advice was received a bit late.
-What do you mean we’re not allowed to go there? Quads are supposed to drive on anything? - I said.
-You should not go up there. Period! - said the lady, who almost magically handed us a list of prices for spare parts.
-The light and bumper, that’s 20,000 baht.
-How much?! - shouted Kasia.
-20,000 baht. You see pricelist.
-Do you mean to say that two pieces of plastic cost 20,000 baht? -
-Here is the pricelist. These are expensive parts.

Three fights in English, one in Thai from Piam, two phone calls to the owner of the bikes in Bangkok and we got the price down to 12,000 baht. I still didn’t believe that two low-quality plastic parts were worth that much, but what could I do? I suddenly regretted that it wasn't my passport, which went as the deposit. Kasia had to go back to Ireland, but I could have left mine and reported to the embassy in Bangkok that I had lost it. Of course, it was our mistake and we were willing to pay a fair price for it, but we also knew that there was a very good chance that the owner wouldn’t even replace the broken parts at all. We realized that we simply had no choice and had to hand over the money.

-I want to get wasted tonight. - said Kasia, saying goodbye to 12,000 baht.
-Me too. -agreed Piam.
-We have no choice then ladies, but to go back to the hotel, rest in bed, hammock, swimming pool or beach and then tonight we can go and conquer Koh Tao!
-Deal! - shouted the girls.

TO BE CONTINUED...