This is Thailand. Chapter 11: Chicks with dicks. Part 1.

-They do it to me intentionally! They know I can’t stand him anymore, but they still allow him to come! It’s not what we agreed!
-Calm down honey, I told you many times. This guy is a rare motherfucker, a murderer, a criminal. He left you and Apple for some bitch but, to them, it doesn’t matter because he is their son. They will always be on his side.
-I thought they understood me. That they saw how much this makes me suffer.
-They see it, but they don’t care.
-I don’t know what to do.
-Don’t worry, we’ll find a solution as always.
-How can I not be worried?! - she almost shouted at me.
-Don’t shout. We are stuck in the same routine. They drive you mad and crazy and you suffer. I suffer. Nothing changes. Perhaps the time has come to take more radical steps.
-Like?
-Move in with me.
-Seriously?
-Yes.
-With Apple?
-Yes.
-…
-What are you thinking about?
-My father will kill me.
-He won’t kill you.
-You don’t understand. In our culture, you can only live with someone after you have married them and the father has given you permission.
-You know that he doesn’t talk to me. My culture is different, I am not going to ask him for anything. And you shouldn’t either, it’s your life.
-Yeah...
-Do you always want to be unhappy and make Apple witness all the fights and the stress just because you are afraid of your father?
-Do you know that I do that, then I have no way of going back.
-I know. Do you want to go back to them?
-No.
-Then, problem solved.
-I’m scared...
-That’s normal. It’s a big change in your life. We’ll be fine.

Link to the previous part: This is Thailand. Chapter 10: Ping-Pong Show. Part 3 - Last.

A few days later, Piam turned up on my doorstep with Apple and a pile of luggage that would have satisfied a whole orphanage. My life was going to change once and for all. My still-married girlfriend with her three year old daughter was going to share my 400-square foot studio apartment with me. I didn’t predict too many issues as I was spending most of my days at work. When I left, the girls were asleep. Apple would wake up sometimes when I was getting ready and ask in Thai where I was going. When I told her that I was going to work, she answered sweetly asking me not to go and if I could take her to the swimming pool. When I got back from work, we had dinner at mine or at the nearby street bazaar. As soon as we returned, Piam got Apple ready for sleep and we had some time to ourselves. We used it well for long conversations and great fun in bed.

Meanwhile, at the college, the next semester was underway. They assigned me Advanced English Composition again, where the students turned out to be even more spoiled than the ones before. Additionally, I received four groups of Business English 1 (BE1). To study BE1 in Dusit Thani College, you have to pass English 1, and English 2 first. According to the program, upon finishing the semester, my students would be able to function in an English-speaking environment. In other words, they should be able to go through an interview in London, get a job for example at the reception of an international hotel. Of course, plans are one thing and reality is another. In each group, perhaps 10% represented a sufficient level to understand the materials of the book. Some students at this level were still unable to introduce themselves. Most of them should not have even finished English 1. They passed however with my help and some others. There is a no fail policy in Thailand, which means that anybody who started education, would probably never fail. The habit of doing absolutely nothing from the first grade of primary school right through to university was tragic. A typical graduate of a Thai university is equally intelligent and educated as a typical western primary school graduate. No wonder that even Thais with formally higher education, including teachers with who I worked, still believed in the semi-divine status of their never-wrong king, ghosts, curses and bad karma. Any attempt of a logical discussion about it ends, in the best case scenario with a comment that farangs probably won’t understand. In the worst case scenario, it leads to irritation and aggression.

I did not come here, however, to fight with the system or change the world for the better, but to earn money which would help me survive away from my boring corporate life, defining bananas as vegetables and other European Union absurdities. Employment as an English teacher in a Thai university gave me exactly this. I believe that the reason that I wasn’t losing the plot right now was because I hadn’t come here with an education mission. Those who believe that they can change Thailand with western logic are mistaken. They often return home with a great frustration.

-My father isn’t talking to me. - Piam said over dinner.
-Why?
-I don’t know. Perhaps because I moved in with you.
-And he’s not talking to you because you or I didn’t ask for permission?
-Yes.
-If we asked, would we have got it?
-No.
-Because you are still married?
-Partly this.
-And partly....?
-He hates farangs.
-Wow! Then he has a problem. Does he know any farangs? Have they ever done anything bad to him?
-No, it’s complicated...
-Explain please.
-You see, Thais are convinced that we are the best race.
-And what causes this thinking?
-Education and media. Since we were children, they tell us that we are better, smarter and more enlightened than the rest of the world. We believe that our king is not like other leaders. He is not entirely human, but better than anyone else. The Thai way of life is the best and this is why our country is so much more developed than our neighbours... Burma, Laos, Cambodia, Malaysia.
-But Malaysia is more developed than Thailand.
-Oh... they don’t count.
-Why not? They’re your neighbours.
-Yeah, but they’re Muslims. So they don’t count.
-Interesting philosophy. Let’s get back to farangs.
-We believe that we are better than them. Our king is so great that when the British and French colonized South-East Asia, they weren’t able to colonize Thailand. It’s the best proof.
-I don’t want to worry you, but the British and French didn’t want to colonize you. They agreed that Thailand would be a buffer zone between their two colonies – Burma and Malaysia belonging to England and Cambodia and Laos controlled by the French.
-Maybe. But they teach us differently at school.
-You have shitty schools. I work in one, so I know. But what about farangs? What do Thais really think of farangs?
-Farang tourist is good because they bring a lot of money and spend it in our country.
-And non-tourist farang?
-Teachers are ok. The rest are not needed. Thailand, as the name suggests, is for Thais.

We finished dinner. With every passing month spent in Thailand, I was realising that I could eat more and more spicy food. When I arrived in the country, I usually asked for food with little or no spice in it, but now that was changing and I was beginning to order dishes with extra chillies, along with adding some spices of my own from the table. Chilli is like a drug. The more you eat, the more you need to feel anything. And you want to feel something because of the effect it has on you. The burning sensation in your brain causes it to produce endorphins – hormones of happiness – which has the primary role to kill pain. No wonder that the Thais smile a lot.

Weeks passed and I was beginning to get more and more tired. Perhaps it was the spoilt students from my Advanced English group, or the totally hopeless students in my Business English class. Something was sapping my energy. Or maybe living with Piam and her three year old daughter was beginning to have an effect on me. More often than not, Apple was completely unbearable. I admit to knowing nothing of raising children, but I had a feeling that Piam had lost control over when and how long her daughter sleeps.

Eventually, my future step-daughter would nap daily from 4 to 6pm, which meant that she was unable to fall asleep before 1 am. Even if I managed to put her to bed, she didn’t sleep. She spent several hours talking to herself, singing, marching on the wall or kicking the mattress. Piam could sleep through this without any problems, but I’m a light sleeper and would often spend the whole night awake due to Apple’s noise. During the week, when I needed sleep the most, I often had to listen to Apple’s cries, as she had learnt that these cries would eventually get her whatever she wanted from her mother. The atmosphere was beginning to get tense.

We moved to a bigger apartment, just a few hundred yards from the current place. We found a 1200 square foot apartment that had two bedrooms, two bathrooms, two balconies and a saloon. It was also only 1000 baht more expensive than our current cage. The situation improved a bit. Apple had her own bedroom, but still fought most nights to try and sleep with us, or alongside her mother. If Piam woke up and came back to me in the night, we would hear wild screams and cries from Apple, demanding that she have her mother back.

-My father will be here in a minute - Piam said, hanging up the phone.
-How come? Should I be scared?
-No, silly! He has some troubles and wants to talk to me.
-Ok, I won’t disturb you. - I said as the doorbell rang.

Piam’s father was a 50-something, short, slim, dark man with an old face. I’d like to believe that it was years of hard work that had made him this way, but knowing that he had sent his 16 year-old daughter out to work for the family, this wasn’t the case. On top of that, Piam often complained that he put himself in some sort of trouble trying to earn money without working too much. He also drank a lot and smoked like a dragon. There is a cult of elders in Thai society. Old people have to be respected, so naturally they are always right and know what’s best. In my world, you have to earn respect. This man represented absolutely nothing to me. Asking for permission to live with or marry Piam, would get stuck in my throat.

I smiled artificially to my future father-in-law, performed a nice wai and disappeared with my computer to leave Piam alone with her father. They talked in Thai and the temperature of the discussion seemed to rise. Piam cried and screamed at her father, he seemed to be apologizing and getting her to calm down. After a few minutes, she came to me in tears and we hugged.

-Marek, I have no power for him! - she said, swallowing tears.
-What happened honey?
-He is in trouble again.
-What sort of trouble?
-He doesn’t want to say. He owes money to some people. They came to collect it, but he doesn’t have it. They threatened to burn down his home and beat him up.
-Fuck me! How much does he owe them?
-4000 baht.
-How much? Are you trying to tell me that in Thailand people burn down other people’s homes over 4000 baht?
-I don’t know, I really don’t know. This is what they said. I have nothing, I can’t help him.
-Don’t worry babe - I said, taking 4000 baht from my wallet - Give him the money, but tell him that it is the first and last time. I don’t want him getting used to it.
-Thank you sweetheart! I love you!

Piam gave her father the money and exchanged a few words. The man looked at me, apologized, thanked me and left. Piam came over and hugged me strongly. Even though she was the owner of a shoe shop and the co-owner of an internet shop, she had very little money and couldn’t help her father. A combination of the recent “red shirt” protests in Bangkok, the opening of another nearby shopping mall and perhaps a few other factors, meant that the mall where Piam’s shops were located was losing 50-70% of its clients. It had almost drowned both of Piam’s businesses. Meetings between shop-owners and mall management didn’t help. The management didn’t see the problem and didn’t agree with the observations that the mall was practically empty. Both of Piam’s businesses barely covered the rental fees. Their idea for improving the mall was to improve the modernity of the mall, for which shop-owners would have to pay more. Thai logic.

-Do you know my father won’t be able to give you the money back?
-It would have been nice if he had, but somehow I didn’t expect it.
-That’s good, because he doesn’t feel like he owes you anything.
-How come?
-It is you who owes him. You pay your debt.
-But I haven’t borrowed a thing from him.
-It’s not about a loan. You are with me, so you owe him.
-I’m afraid I still don’t quite understand.
-It’s simple, honey. Without him, I wouldn’t have been born. You can be with me thanks to him. So you owe him.
-Sounds perfectly reasonable...

TO BE CONTINUED...