This is Thailand. Chapter 10: Ping-Pong Show. Part 1

I never wanted to go to Pattaya. This seaside resort town lying around 100 miles southwest of Bangkok is famous for one thing only. It is the biggest brothel in Thailand, if not in the world. The “special semester” came to an end and I needed to escape from Bangkok. This time, however, I didn’t feel like going anywhere far. I reserved four nights in the Penthouse Hotel for me and Piam.

Link to the previous part: This is Thailand. Chapter 9: Striptease in the bank. Part 5 - Last.

-Are you serious? - she asked with disbelief.
-I’m serious. Aren’t you happy?
-I’m happy, but I never have a holiday every two months.
-So now you will have.
-Great, I need to tell her grandmother that Apple won’t go to her pre-school next week.
-How come?
-We won’t drive her from Pattaya, will we?
-I thought we were going without her.
-Why? Do you not like travelling with Apple?
-It’s not about if I don’t like travelling with her. I just thought, after everything that’s happened recently, it would be good to spend some time just the two of us.
-But Apple loves the sea!
-Baby, please...
-I can’t leave her for so long.
-Let her spend some time with her grandparents. They know how to take care of her. Nothing bad will happen.
-Four days is too long.
-What do you propose?
-Hmm... two days just us two and two with Apple?
-How will we do that?
-We go on our own, then come back for her.
-A lot of driving don’t you think?
-My way or the highway!
-Alright, alright

Change of plans. The Penthouse is not an ordinary hotel but the first themed hotel in Thailand only for adults and is located in the heart of the red light district in Pattaya. It’s not a place for 3 year-old girls. I changed the reservation to two nights and booked the other two at Centara Grand Hotel – a four-star, gigantic hotel with a private beach, along with a system of swimming pools that imitate the movie “The Lost World.”

Room in the Penthouse hotel

Until the day of our departure, Piam was angry because neither her family, nor the family of her husband wanted to take care of Apple. Suddenly, the retired grandparents didn’t have enough time, even though they spent all of it at home. It was clear that they wanted to make life difficult for us. Her mother tolerated me and her father hated me. Officially, because I was a farang and he hated farangs. Unofficially it was because Piam’s new family was incredibly rich and could “lend” him any sum of money he wanted, whenever he wanted. In comparison to them, I was just a poor, white teacher. And since we were not married, I was not responsible for supporting her family.

Centara Grand Mirage Resort

In the beginning, they’d helped us, keeping Apple once a week so that we could spend time together. But in recent weeks, they suddenly didn’t have the time. Reason, I imagined, that if we didn’t have time for one another then we would eventually break up. Over my dead body! The father eventually agreed when I offered to give him 500 baht per day for taking care of the child. It was amazing that he didn’t have time for his own granddaughter until there was money on the table.

During my first experiences of driving around Thailand, I was constantly angry at dangerous, mindless stunts performed by other drivers. I was constantly telling Piam how different a story it was in Western Europe. Today, I was driving like any other maniacal Thai. I drove around Bangkok like I had lived here forever, pushing my way forward, cutting-up other drivers, not letting cars in front of me and overtaking in a careless manner. Not that I was proud of it, you simply had to if you wanted to get anywhere in this country. I wanted to get to Pattaya.

A perfect, two-lane highway led up straight out of the city. We felt the touristy atmosphere as soon as we passed a billboard that declared proudly “Welcome to Pattaya”. Low-rise buildings, skyscrapers with condominiums for farangs, busy roads, a beach cluttered with sunbeds, umbrellas and hawkers trying to sell anything they could to naive tourists. This was the reality of Pattaya. It was hot and humid, but less cars and a sea breeze reminded me that the air can have taste.

For ages Pattaya was a small fishing village. The change started to happen on the 26th of April, 1961 when the first group of about 100 American soldiers, fighting in Vietnam, arrived on the beaches here seeking some recuperation from the war. It was then that Pattaya began to transform itself into a popular resort town, which now attracts four million tourists a year. Fisherman’s houses were replaced by grand hotels and shops, as well as the biggest Asian shopping mall on the beach – “Central Festival Pattaya Beach Mall” which also hosted a Hilton hotel.

Pattaya

We left the car near the hotel and entered a fairly normal looking building that was no different to the others in the area. We sorted the formalities at reception and went to our room. It contained a big bed with pink linen and heart-shaped pillows. Two mirrors covered the wall next to the bed and there was a large, flatscreen TV. Beneath it was a huge collection of pornographic movies for fans of every genre, including: amateur, Asian, Lesbian, Group Sex, Gay, Transvestites, Masturbation and many more. There was a huge pole in the middle of the room, no doubt what that was there for. A “health-swing” hung from the ceiling and, along with you and your partner, could be quite good fun. The bathroom had a Jacuzzi and a shower with a hydromassage function. Next to the washing basin was a collection of vibrators and other toys of all shapes and sizes, which had been “treated by a chemical disinfectant” for our safety. Piam couldn’t stop laughing. When she eventually stopped, we went for a walk around the hotel. We found a swimming pool, where three couples were probably getting ready to swing their partners. Kittens and Pattaya Obsessions clubs were still closed. I had read on the Kitten’s website that you can find ladies here who are more than happy to join couples or groups looking for sexual adventures. Obsessions, however, was aimed at those who were looking for chicks with dicks – Thai ladyboys.

I learnt a lot about Piam at the Penthouse Hotel. Making love in front of the mirror and on the health swing, she beat her record of 15 orgasms during one night (time to rearrange our apartment?). Porn movies bored her and she didn’t want to use the pole, nor use the toys. She thinks they are just artificial, useless toys that are too big for her anyway and could therefore cause pain to her tight Asian hole. The Jacuzzi was great, as was the hydromassage shower. She didn’t want to use the swimming pool, assuming that I’d use it as an opportunity for swinging. We didn’t visit Obsessions, as we are both heterosexual (I am at least) and didn’t really know what to do with a ladyboy. I didn’t manage to get her drunk enough to convince her to have a threesome with one of the girls from Kittens that was dancing on the pole. After two days and three nights Piam had scored 30 orgasms and was 6 pounds lighter. I tried Viagra for the first time and came to the conclusion that it works. I didn’t feel like weighing myself.

After checking-out of the Penthouse around noon, we drove to Bangkok and back to pick up her daughter. I didn’t want to let Piam go alone on a 200-mile road, especially as I had done most of the driving in the last 6 months and she didn’t have much experience on the highway. The journey took us six hours, including a two hour stopover to load Apple’s toys and gadgets that weren’t entirely necessary for two days at the beach.

Briefly before dusk, we checked into a nice, spacious room with a view of the Lost World Swimming Pool complex and the calm waters of the Bay of Thailand. The room was way more luxurious than the one we had been in the night before, but was obviously without the brothel-like atmosphere. Apple and Piam fell asleep quickly and I spent some time online. An SMS sound on my girlfriend’s phone caught my attention. She rarely sends messages as both of us prefer to call. Something, I don’t know what, tempted me to check who it was from. Mostafa wrote: - Come on chat sweetheart. I miss you so much. - I read it three times to make sure that I understood it correctly. Next, I moved to the other messages sent between Piam and Mostafa. I wasn’t sure what hurt more, the fact he writes to her in a way that I do, or that she responds telling him that she misses him and thinks about him as well. The oldest messages are from around the time that Piam and I began our relationship. I jumped out of bed like it was on fire and walked to the bathroom. Piam was awake when I came back.

-What happened? - she asked, getting out of bed.
-Do you want to tell me something?
-What?
-Who’s Mostafa?
-No one - she replied, and looked at the floor.
-So you send messages to ‘no one’? - I said, feeling my blood pressure rising.
-Stop it. It’s only a bit of fun.
-Fun? I don’t like this kind of fun. Who the fuck is he? Have you met him?
-No, he’s in Egypt.
-So why the fuck did you write to him?
-I don’t have to explain myself to you. If you don’t like, then break up with me.

Silence. Complete silence. Piam went to bed, took her phone and started sending messages on it. Perhaps to Mostafa. I don’t know. I don’t want to know. I took my wallet, car keys, phone and left. I went to the beach via a 7/11, picking up three cold cans of Chang along the way. I drank one beer after another, counting that Piam will finally realize what’s wrong, that it hurts to destroy our relationship, our relation... that awakens bad feelings. The phone was silent though. No calls. I went to the car and sat there doing nothing. Eventually, I launched the engine and went to the centre of Pattaya. I completely ignored the alcohol and traces of amphetamines that the European Union hadn’t been able to recognize. Fuck it! Fuck everything! This is Thailand. Well, fuck Thailand! I parked somewhere in the city centre and sent Piam a message.

-Honey, I’m sorry that I got so angry. Please understand though, that it hurts me and you shouldn’t play games like this behind my back.
I didn’t have to wait long for her response. - I’m not playing any games. It’s pure fun. If you don’t understand then you will be better off finding yourself another girlfriend.

It hurts, it burns, it rips me apart. I threw my phone with force into the back of the car, got out and walked with no purpose. On the main boulevard, along the beach, the nightlife was as usual. Men of all ages walked hand in hand with sexy Thai girls. It seemed that the general rule was, the older the man, the younger the girl. Some of them were probably not eighteen yet. It doesn’t matter though, because in Thailand you can legally sleep with anyone who is fifteen and above. Sex tourists here don’t come for women, they come for girls. And these are more than eager to sell their bodies. One night with a farang is worth more than six days of 12 hours in an exhausting job in 7/11. That’s probably why you don’t see many beautiful young girls in these places.

Pattaya is considered to be a very attractive tourist resort due to its lively sex industry and the nightlife related to it. Prostitution in Thailand is technically illegal, but look at Pattaya that is full of bars with “hostesses”, clubs with strip-teases, massage parlours, saunas and hotels available to rent by the hour, it is clear that the line between legal and illegal is very flexible. Attempts have been made in recent years to change the reputation of the city, but this was often by with strong opposition, partly by locals, tourists and foreigners living here. It was like trying to close the red light district, and coffee shops in Amsterdam, and still expecting the tourists to come.

I reached Walking Street where the atmosphere reminded me very much of Soi Cowboy in Bangkok. Along the street were dozens of bars pumping out loud music. Girls were sitting out the front, encouraging any man that passed to come inside. Despite the late hour, the sky was well-lit by hundreds of colourful neon lights. Freelance chicks “not owned” by any clubs were bugging tourists everywhere. Transvestites were on the hunt for sextourists looking for something different, or those too drunk to tell the difference between a man and a woman. Lone men, and men in groups looking for a good time, and those who had already found what they were looking for headed back to their hotels to taste the forbidden fruits of the Orient.

An old Thai in sunglasses caught everyone’s attention by jumping up and down like a monkey, while screaming “Free ping-pong show! Free ping-pong show!” Ah, the famous ping-pong show where girls shoot ping-pong balls from their pussies. I had lived in Thailand for several months by this time and still I was yet to see one. They sat that there’s a first time for everything. If not now, then when?

TO BE CONTINUED...