Living with a Sense of Urgency

5 years ago, I was not living with a sense of urgency. I was living as if I'm not going to die. Back then, I still didn't have a list of things to do in life and my happiness was just completely dependent on another person. I was trapped in the humdrum and the mundane. Even good things could come to an end and there was nothing much I could do about it. I didn't have a strong support network around me. I don't know that for some reason, I just woke up feeling tired. Feeling tired of being miserable and sad. For letting go another relationship and for torturing myself with my own decisions. I knew I had to do these things. I can't escape these feelings and I had to go through it no matter what. There is no shortcut.

The most important thing that happened to me was that I suddenly became aware that I'm tired of being in that state. I stood up and said - fuck it. I'm going to change - right now. Oh great, I'm still alive. I didn't have to do things on my own anymore because anyway, death would happen to me anytime. This is a profound realization to have but people are so terrified to face it. To put this knowledge into your head would liberate you big time.

I asked myself - so what am I doing sitting around here crying and being miserable with my job and relationship? The truth is - nobody cares. When you die, people would move on. They would just feel sad temporarily but they would soon forget you. Don't keep on asking people to help you. The truth is, it is just you and you alone. Ashes to ashes dust to dust. It is your responsibility to make yourself happy and live your life on your own terms.

What to do now in this short duration of my life? I will live it. I will live it as if I'm going to die next week, tomorrow or later. It is going to happen anytime soon so I started making a list of things to do before I die. It is not just a bucket list cliché. It is not just a list. I have really done most of the things on my list. Because when I say I will do something, I will really do it. Back then, I started working with a sense of urgency, earning money so I could pack my bag and go. Suddenly I was fearless. Suddenly I was not scared of my life anymore. Suddenly I learned how to really live. I am free.

Unless I'm in a death row, nobody knows exactly when my existence would come to an end. It does not change the fact that it could end anytime soon. Yours too, there's no excuse. Life comes with no guarantees. A car can hit me anytime, an aircraft can crash into my apartment, I mean who knows how? The most important thing is that I'm not sitting around here waiting for life to happen. Even if I have cancer or already in my death bed, I would still make sure that I am scuba diving or skydiving or be petting my cat or having sex with someone I love or sipping a margarita by the beach. It does not matter. If I am going to die, I might as well die while doing things that make me truly happy. That is my new rule in life and it is the most liberating of all. I don't care about what other people say or what the society wants me to do - this is my life and it is ending any minute.

Everything I do in this short life should either:

1. Make myself happy
2. Make someone I love happy
3. Make this world a better place (Help those who need help or ease the suffering of other people)

If your life is not about any of these goals, then what is the point of living? Do others a favor - stop contributing to the misery of the world. You give your own life meaning so stop asking others, stop asking the universe. It is not anyone's fault that you are not happy. It is not anyone's fault that you are not satisfied with your own life. If you fear death so much or if you fear to risk your life in order to experience how it is to be truly alive - you might as well just be dead. I don't care if I'm harsh to the bone especially if that is the only way to make you get up and live.

I quit my job and traveled around. I went on this journey and I almost died along the way. I knew that if I had to die somewhere in this world, I'm going to die a very happy person. I love my journey so much. Even if it will make me hate or love the human race more. I am myself without apologies. I would rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I am not. That is freedom.

When you finally let go of this fear, - you learn how to really live. The feeling of dying is the feeling of being alive. You have to recognize that you are not a special star who deserves to stay in your comfortable little bubble all the time. Just think that nobody really cares to harm your little life. You're missing the whole point. The main cause of this whole time-wasting trap is that you focus more on what people would think of you. You focus more on what they could do to you. You focus more on what other people say you should do.

You are just one of the many stars in the universe. Go out there and live. Live as if you are going to die at any moment. Live your life with no regrets. Go to places you've never been, discover your passion, achieve your life goals, tell someone you love him/her, spend more time with loved ones. Do whatever it is that will make your life worthwhile. Time is running out whether you like it or not. Start living life with a sense of urgency, take the steps right now. Stop living as if you're never going to die. Don't worry because you will at some point. So live right now, it is never too late.