Escaping a system that doesn't work and doesn't make sense

AleLuzDoSol
My name is Alejandro aka AleLuzDoSol. I am a one of a kind individual who desires to share myself, my life, philosophies, travels, spirituality and stories to help inspire others and myself to live a life a Peace, Freedom and Love. When I talk about Freedom, I don't mean it an economic sense. I mean freedom from one's own mental enslavement. Since we are born into this World we are slaves whether we believe it or not. The whole system is in place to make us followers of a system that cares not for our souls or individuality. It just wants us to conform, to be like the rest of the herd. To live purposeless lives, to spend our days doing jobs that don't fulfill us, buying junk that doesn't serve us and ultimately is the cause of the oppression of a large part of the world. I say these things from the perspective of one who has grown up in the United States and who has seen first hand how this Satanic system is destroying the World, Nature and the Human race.

For 3 of the last 4 years I have travelled and lived in parts of South America, Europe, Northern Africa and Asia. Oh and of course I can't forget my 24 hours spent in Darwin Australia, where I was detained for the crime of being a poor Nomadic American.

Though I see myself as a human being first and above all, I do have a background and a place of origin as we all do on this planet. This background is not my true identity but it has played in role in forming and shaping the person that I am today.

This current version of my life started in 1977 in Brooklyn, New York. I was born to Argentine semi mix non religious Jewish parents. Though I connect more with my Argentine roots of me then the jewish, it's still a part of me I can't deny even if I don't care for it much. Actually I despised having any connection to being jewish as its not something I ever identified with and always found jewish people to see themselves superior to others. Actually many Argentine people are like this also, so generally speaking I am just disgusted by anyone that things themselves better then others. But at the same time I understand that people are taught this type of ignorance, so I don't let it bother me anymore.

As a child I forced to be a man at a very young age. My parents owned a Jewelry Manufacturing business, worked a lot of hours and used a lot of Cocaine. I witnessed and was subject to all types of abuse, mental, physical, verbal and spiritual. Every night I was kept up late listening to the non stop arguing of my parents. Then taken my fair share of beatings from my father who would come home and beat me without mercy using his favorite built that had his name Jorge imprinted on the buckle. As I would cry from the whippings he would whip me more for crying and tell me that real men don't cry. I witness cocaine abuse from the age of 5 years old, as my parents would lock themselves in there room for the weekend leaving myself and my older brother Ernesto to take care of ourselves.

One thing I have learned in life is that even the so called events in our life that appear as negative play a big role in developing our character and personality. If I had grown up in the perfect home with the perfect parents and more positive experiences then I would not be the person I am today. Having had to overcome a lifetime a Trauma is no small task. Instead of following in my parents foot steps, I desired to be different. And that desire lead me to be an adventurer. I was always fascinated by the world around me and different cultures.

Growing up in Brooklyn, I was Blessed with having friends from all over the world. I had Yugoslavian, Korean, Puerto Rican, Turkish, Black, Hispanic, Italian, Irish, Chinese, Jamaican, Trinidadian etc, etc. I never truly felt I was American since my family was Argentine and most of my friends were from some place other then the US. I believe my childhood definitely gave me an advantage while traveling, I learn to adapt myself to different places and cultures like a chameleon.

Through life I have found out that it is through the pain and struggles that one truly can find oneself and become an awaken enlightened being. At a young age I learn the ways of the street. I walked myself to school, I played sports in the park till dark, I cooked my own breakfast, clean the house. Ultimately we are own Master, Teacher and Healer. Many look for salvation in Religion or some Guru, these things can definitely help but ultimately one must face there own demons if they truly wish to be free. And everyone's path to freedom is different, so no man should judge another man, since we all walk in our own shoes and have our own trials and tribulations to face.

Due to all the difficulties in life, I had many questions about the meaning and purpose of life. At an early age of began to have questions about the existence of God and even random stuff like how do you know if your gay, lol. Its funny but I was a kid and love to day dream and fantasize. I was a terrible student, a combination of ADD and Dyslexic. My only escape and method of dealing with the hardships I faced was Sports and My imagination.

At the age of 16 I began a journey as a Christian. My cocaine addict parents began going to Church when I was 12 years old after almost getting a divorce. I hated church and thought it was a bunch of bullshit. But at the age of 16 after my father was hit by a car while going to buy cocaine I began to read the Bible. I began to read about Jesus and was fascinated by this person. So at some point through the stories of Jesus I decided that it was my destiny to be a follower of his. I Studied the bible with a passion for many years. Though I loved and learned a lot from the stories of Jesus, I always knew that the Institution of Church has little to do with Jesus. Nowadays I can't really say if Jesus was an actual real person, or just metaphors or if he possibly was just a mushroom.

The point is the lessons that I learned. Learning to Love the creator, to trust that the Universe and the Source of Life is on my side, guiding me even in the darkest hours. I believe it is my faith that was keep me going and gotten me through so many situations. But my faith is not in a man made religion. I believe in the power that lives inside of all of us. That we have to ability to tap into our higher self and to transform ourselves if we truly take the time to do so. Most don't take the time to heal oneself and just live empty lives with no real purpose other then preparing for there Death Bed scene as Terrence Mckenna puts its.

SInce this is just an intro, I will get deeper into my relationship with Christianity and breaking free from Christianity in the future. At the age of 23 I first broke away from this religion only to go back 7 years later. At this point I went the total opposite direction. I began traveling abroad, living in Dominican Republic and then traveling to Colombia multiple times. My only purpose was to have as much sex with as many woman as possibly. Since I was always very insecure about myself I felt the need to prove to myself that I was a man by having relations with different woman. Deep down I was really searching for Love, something I knew nothing about. My mother was not very affectionate with me, so this caused a lot of insecurity in myself. I didn't know how to love myself therefore I didn't know truly how to love or be loved. A whole a huge whole in my heart but didn't know how to fill the void, so I did the best I knew how. In this time period I also married a Crazy Colombian girl I meet while partying in Cartagena. She was definitely not the type of girl that one would call marriage material, but I was a risk taker with a good heart and extremely naive. I ended up not bringing her to the states and her visa was revoked, thats another long story.

I guess you can say this was the golden economic period of my life. Though I was complete shit in school I was able to get a job on Wall Street when I was only 19 years old. I climbed the Wall Street ladder working for various Brokerage firms, Private Banks, etc, working as a trade settlements specialist. By age 22 I was working in the World Trade Center for a firm called Fiduciary Trust International. I worked on the 94th and 97th floor of the South Tower. I guess you can say I was one of the lucky ones. After almost 2 years working for Fiduciary I resigned to move to South Florida with my family only 1 month before 9/11. Obviously the events of 9/11 always played a role in my life and also a role in me becoming a conspiracy theorist. I never accepted the original story and it wasn't until 2012 that I found out what really happened on this day.

At age 30 my career in the financial services industry ended due to the Bailout. At this point I was shit out of luck. Even though I had 10 years of experience in this field, I couldn't find a job. I went from making $60,000 a year to making less then that when I finally got employed more then a year later for a call center in South Florida. During this time I was very depressed as I, like most people identify themselves with the Careers. Even though I was sick of the financial industry and wish to do something more meaningful with my life then just manage the finances of Millionaires , I really had no clue what to do. I also enjoyed the salary I was making, which gave me the ability to Travel. Now I was just an average Joe trying to make ends meat.

Ultimately the Bail out was a blessing in disguise. I was now force to discover my true self. While working on the phone I learn to improve my communication skills. I learn how to deal with people and there different emotions. I learn to overcome fears. I also became a salesman and found I had a great ability for engaging people in conversation. People fell in love with me on the phones because I knew how to speak to them and treat them as a Person. At the end of the day that is all people want. And since I am also a person I knew how to relate to people.

In January of 2012 I fell in love with a Beautiful Colored / Bi racial girl from the country of Namibia. I meet Miss R, on a christian dating site. SInce I was very shy, I always found it easier to meet woman online then have the confidence to ask them out in person. I began having daily skype sessions with her and fell more and more in love with her each day. At this time of my life I lived with my grandmother since her place was close to my job and she didn't charge me rent. After only 4 months of talking to Miss R, I said fuck it and decided to take whatever money I had, sell my car and move to Namibian. Without getting into all the details, things didn't work out as I had hoped. After 2 months I was almost broke and there didn't appear to be much possibility for a future in Namibia.

I moved back into my parents house, which turned out to be a horrible decision but worked out as all things do for my better good. There was much drama in my house and I always treated the same way I was when I was 6 years old. My father and younger brother David has a body piercing business then folded during this time period. I worked with them several months prior to the collapse of the business. At the time my brother David was supporting my younger sister Andrea and her boyfriend Dan. This is a story that I will most definitely dedicate more time in future post since it is very complex. Needless to say, David had became a huge pothead at the time and out of control. The influence of Dan was to much for my brother. He became reckless and careless. He got arrested in his own home for having marijuana plants in the home. Ended up taking $80,000 from the companies Paypal account all while renting a house for $2000 a buying thousands of dollars of equipment to grow marijuana in his house.

All while this was going on I had kept contact with Miss R up until 1 month after my return to South Florida. I didn't see a purpose to communicate with her anymore since she did not want to come to the US and I didn't want to go back to Namibia. A month after our official break up she sends me an email stating Congratulations your going to be a Father.
I was surprised by the news and also excited. Part of the reason I was surprised by the news is because I suspected prior to leaving Namibia that she was pregnant. I actually purchased 2 pregnancy test for her, once at the beginning of my stay and one right before I left. As soon as she told me I sent her whatever money I had, which was approximately $177 USD. 2 weeks later I had an accident on my bicycle, I lost control of the bike an ended up lacerating by posterior tibia ligament. I had surgery a few days later and back to work with my father the same day. The man is such a workaholic he couldn't even give me the day off but at least they, meaning my parents covered the surgery.

After the Business went under, I took the first job I could find. It happened to be in a Ghetto call center for an AT&T vendor. The job was terrible, but I still enjoyed the people I meet there. I was one of only a few people there that was not black. But this was not an issue for me since I have always gotten along well with Black people and they have played a big part of my life and personality. I really feel for my African brothers and sisters. They definitely are the most mistreated people on the planet in my opinion. I witnessed this oppression first hand working in the call center.

During the pregnancy I sent Miss R as much money as I could, about $400 a month to her and $400 to my jewish mother. Even though my parents have money, they always felt the need to take more money from me even though it would have been nice to be able to help Miss R more then I was.

One month before the birth of my daughter Amiah, I had a discussion with Miss R about getting dual citizenship for Amiah. She was not so interested in the citizenship which really offended me and made me question if she was truly mine. Even though I spent everyday with Renechia while in Namibia, I still had some doubts. My mother also didn't make the situation better, almost every day she would come to me and ask me how do I know the baby is mine. So when she did not show interest in the dual citizenship, I asked her for a DNA test. This may be something that in the USA is not an issue with most woman. But for a sensitive Colored girl from Namibia, this was the ultimate insult. The other thing I forgot to mention is that there was an 13 year age difference between us, as I was 34 when we met and she was only 21.

This cause a lot of drama and began receiving emails from Miss R's mother cursing me out, telling me I would never see my baby. After this I went into a deep depression as Miss R stopped talking to me. I did not care about anything, nothing mattered to me, especially not that stupid boring job I had.

So I ended up quitting after I was called into QA to listen to my calls. They picked the absolute worst calls for me to listen to. Then they asked me, what do you felt went right with the call? My response, Nothing. Ok, what do you feel went wrong with the call? My response, everything. They told me I scored a negative 30% percent and I needed positive 70%. So I felt totally defeated. I went back to my desk, looked at the phone to take more calls and walked out.

I called my brother David to come pick me up and went to live with him, Dan and Andrea for the next 6 weeks.
During that time all I did was smoke tons of marijuana. I ended up finding out Amiah's was born through a foto posted on facebook.

The other thing that happened when I returned to the US was becoming aware of Conspiracy theories. When I went to work for my father and David, David began telling me about the different conspiracies. He would listen to Alex Jones everyday. Since I knew my brother was a smart guy I started doing my own research. My ritual was to smoke a joint after work and watch conspiracy documentaries. First was 9/11, then the federal reserve bank, Monsanto, the Rothchild, Rockafellas, etc ,etc. I could not believe the crazy stuff that I was being exposed to and I knew it was true. It didn't take long for me to put the dots together. I have always been an open, honest person. I guess if not for being a Christian I probably would have learned these things sooner.

Christianity rarely discusses what is going on in the real world. Thats part of why it is accepted and such a part of American culture. It's part of what keeps the masses asleep. They are told that the government is put in place by God. That you should render to Cesar what is Cesar's and to God what is God. So even if the government is evil, its ok because its ordained by God and eventually one day Jesus will return and make everything whole again or just create a new earth so why should we give a shit about this one. Now I know not all Christians think this way, I am speaking about the majority not the minority.

I was rarely going to Church at this time, but whenever I would go I would smoke weed before so. And when I did that the Marijuana opened up my eyes to the emptiness I was witnessing. I stayed in the back and just watched the people. Everyone dressed up, smiling at one another. If you had a problem no one would really help you but mainly they would just say I'm praying for you. I didn't sense I was learning anything there, just wasting my time. I was actually learning more from listening to Bob Marley and Damien Marley. They were actually telling me what was going on in the world, even about the mind control of TV and the poison of GMO food.

I said to myself how can it be that Christians say they have the Holy Spirit, but it is the Rastaman that they would say is spiritual dead that is teaching me all this knowledge.

So I began to really question my so called faith and what I had accepted as reality because I had accept the Bible as the perfect authoritative word of God. I knew something was wrong with the institution of religion but couldn't pinpoint it exactly.

After 6 weeks of living with David, Dan and Andrea I went back to my parents house. Even though it was nice to smoke ganja everyday and eat an organic diet, I could no longer take the fighting. Dan and David would get into a huge fight every 2 weeks. Then eventually Dan started to try to fight with me. I could no longer deal with his energy so I left.

I guess you can say I preferred to be abused by my parents then live with them. After this my relationship with Miss R deteriorated. Since I was not working I was not able to help out financially. I sent her some clothes for the baby and some money. All I wanted from her was to allow me to see my child via skype. She was not willing and only demanding financial help. I didn't believe it was fair that she would not comply with any of my wishes and only asks for money. So we began to destroy eachcother via email. It got very ugly and I wish I could take back many things that I said. But its all part of the journey and somehow everything worked out perfectly.

During the next months I continued to experience hardship and mistreatment at home. I was not successful in finding work and neither was I very motivated. I said to myself if I cannot have a relationship with my daughter, then what good is money if it cant buy me what I most wanted in this world. Since a small child, due to the abuse I grew up with I always dreamed of having my own family and being a father. After coming back I was kicked out of the house for not having a job. I had a friend who had a 6 year old daughter who I suggested would enjoy playing soccer cause I saw she was athletic. In the past I had coached several FC Barcelona Futbol camps in Fort Lauderdale, FL. These camps were only during the summertime. I contacted Mauricio, a Brazilian guy who ran the camps. I asked they could give me friend a discount, he told me there was a camp starting the following week and if I volunteered to coach he would let her in the camp for free. Of course I agreed and my mother told me I could not work for free so she kicked me out.

I went to live with Frankie P, a former deacon at a church I use to go to. We had a falling out after one week and he told me to leave after a intense conversation we had after I told him off and stood up for myself. Frankie P liked dominating people and telling them what to do, but he wasn't going to have his way with me. I gave him a piece of truth and reality that he did not appreciate and kicked me out of his house. While at Frankie P's I shared a room with Nelson, he is the Blind guy in the white shirt.

But as always everything works out. I got payed $300 for the Coaching which I didn't expect. Then another friend gave me $200 cash. He also hooked me up with a place to stay for a few weeks, but I finally went back to my parents house.
Though I had no job I always had money for food some how. My daughter was basically just raw milk and free range eggs. My parents allowed me to stay in the house but did not pay for my food. I even got a check from my previous employer that I had cashed but they said I didn't.

So I started seeing how the Universe was always taking care of me. Like Jesus said, Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable. So with this and many other teachings I had faith that everything would be ok.

As I continued to grow in my knowledge of the world, conspiracies and faith I grew all the more disgusted with living in America. I was horrified by the things I learned. I watched economist who talked about Financial collapse, Martial Law, Genocide, etc. My life was stuck in South Florida, I felt stuck and desired to move on. But I didn't know how and not having money didn't help matter. Finally I watch an Economist called the @jeffberwick aka The Dollar Vigilante. He talked about the collapse that was to come and places that would be a good option when that were to happen. One of the places he mentioned was Chile. Though I am of Argentine decent, the points he made to me made sense. So I considered Chile as a possible destination. I thought maybe if I work for 6 months and save money I can do it.

Since I had no vehicle, I got a loan from my grandmother to buy one. She loaned me the money and I purchased a 2001 Toyota Solara. I began working doing promotional work. Since I was kind, loving and generous, I was not well liked by my employers. So I continued to look for more gainful employment.

At the same time my soul was thirsty for a revival. Since I had many doubts about Christianity, I started for the first time watching videos on youtube made by former Pastors exposing Christianity. One such ex Pastor goes by the name of Ray Hagins. Even though his views were from an African American perspective, what he was saying made sense to me. How Christianity came from the Europeans and was forced down the throats of the African slaves and the peoples around the world.

Several weeks later I had my big breakthrough, all thanks to the Magic Mushroom. On my 35th birthday I went to the beach with Andrea and Dan. As a gift they gave me a mushroom. I ate it and had one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I made peace with the ocean. Since a small boy I was traumatized by the water after almost drowning twice in Puerto Rico while on vacation. For the first time ever I went into the Ocean and was able to float, that is why I call this day, the day I made peace with the Ocean.

Shortly after this I had my second mushroom trip, in my room while watching Ray Hagins. It was very intense, but I listened as he spoke about the stories of the bible, like Adam and Eve and the serpent talking to them. And of course Noahs ark, as Noah was able to get all the animals on the ark, 2 of each kind and they stayed there for 40 days. And one point it hit "It's Just A Story" Its Fantasy". OMG I couldn't believe it but the Mushroom made it so clear to me. Almost all my life I had been believing a lie and how I viewed the world around me was based on this lie even though there are truths in there as well.

I was finally liberated from the deep hold Christianity had on me. But my next concern was, what do I believe now? What do I consider truth and the purpose of life. Well does answers eventually came to me and are still coming to me.
One evening after having another painful argument with my father, I smoked a joint and went to my room.

I was crying and I called out to God or the Universe. I said Please, show me the Truth!! I don't know what is real, I don't know what to Believe, but please God me. So I left the house and went to Barnes and Nobles to clear my head. I was randomly walking thru the aisles and from the corner of my eye I saw a book that caught my attention. It was called "Conversations with God" written by Neal Donald Walsh, I sat down and began reading somewhere in the middle. And to my surprise the book was talking about exactly what I was going to. So, I wrote the authors name down and youtubed when I got home. I found tons of videos by him and for the next few weeks all I did was smoke weed and watch these videos. It was as if I was being reprogrammed.

He talked about abundance and being the source of everything you want in life. If you desire love be loving, if you desire compassion be compassionate, if you desire friendship be friendly, etc .etc. He said that you should give when you have nothing and the Universe would reward you. So I began to practice these things in my life and saw that it was true. And I felt better when I was the source of everything, because if your the source you are the give and never lack and what you give comes back to you 10 fold.

So I was now going into uncharted territory with a new outlook on life. I was ready for South American but didn't have the funds but believed some how my life was going to change. I wanted to get out of the comfortable uncomfortable confines of my parents house.

And finally it happened, much sooner then I expected. I had recently resigned a job where I was selling electronic components. The business was dying and was owned by some Syrians. The boss was away and the manager his buddy from Childhood shitted on me so hard that I went outside and asked myself, "Why am I doing this". How could I allow myself to be treated like this and for what reason? Money, no, forget this shit, I'm out. So I wrote a letter to the owner telling him I quit.

I went home and told my parents what had happened. While looking for another job and being mistreated by parents told me they were canceling my auto insurance which was under there name. So now I was running out of options and getting desperate. But this is where the magic happens, under the worst situations. One morning my father starting cursing me out and yelling at me. I peacefully replied to him, Please stop Hurting me. He kept going on and on. So I repeated, Stop Hurting me around 20 times and he kept going. Finally I said I walked out the house, barefooted and all and leaned against my car. I said to myself thats it, I had hit my breaking point. I said to myself I must leave and it doesn't matter where I go, I just know I'm done with this shit. So I said ok, I go to Chile but how??
And as I was leaning against the Car it dawned on me, Sell The Car. Now I was still paying my grandmother back for the vehicle but it was registered in my name. So in my hour of need and desperation, I sold the car.
I didn't all in secret, I never said a word to anyone except for 2 friends and my niece that I was leaving.

I didn't get much for the car, a bit more then $2000. Then I spent about $900 on the plane ticket to Santiago, Chile. I my friend Gus allowed me stay in his house for a week until I flew out to Chile. After it was said and done I had about $700 dollars left once I arrived in Chile and then had to fork over $160 for my visa. Not much money to start a new life, but I had faith. And sometimes that is all you need. Because if you have money and no faith then you are dead, at least in my opinion. So about 2 weeks after the argument with my father I was in Chile. I didn't even say goodbye.

Now the real journey was about to begin. Even though I was nervous I knew I would be ok. I prepared myself in my mind for every type of situation. I prepared myself for the possibility of being homeless. But I felt mediocrity in South America would still be better then the mediocre hell I had been living in my parents house in South Florida.

I hope to continue to share the rest of my journey with you. I thank you for taking the time to read about my life and insights. Feel free to write and ask me anything. I am an open book, willing and desiring to share myself with the World.

I might be a Dreamer, But I'm not the Only One!

Peace and Blessing to All, One Love.