You obviously refer to the way we manage to cheat ourselves into supporting our own pointless individual existences. Coming to realise this we cannot cheat ourselves anymore. Feeling this unpleasant truth our egos will desperately try to bring us back - but it is too late for that as you cannot cover light with darkness. I know I sound like the 'toxic person', yet let's keep an open mind as there MUST be something else beyond dubmness and depression.