Closing a small circle

An urgent need to write, to document everything that had passed by in the past year, for no particular reason, simply because I had been given the opportunity to look at a period in such a bounded way, a year's contract, beyond my own apartment, beyond a different area of ​​my life, Totally, it's worth just stopping and watching what I've been through for the past year ...

I write these lines while I sit on a chair, while the apartment is almost empty of furniture, except for the modest bed (the quality, not the size) behind me. This situation is more or less the same situation in which I was in my first week in the apartment. There were a lot of things on my mind: one month until the project was submitted and I was a few years away from real material to work on. According to Murphy, the work of course had a "stressful" period and I had to produce as many hours of work as possible within my four working days. But the stage certainly caught the mini project I took on, helped prepare an exercise for a close relative who without a doubt needed my help, and I unhesitatingly enlisted on the mission. Without furniture, and in a minimalist work environment, I would sit on nights after long work days, and focus on the project to such an extent that I can not remember anything from this week apart from this exercise. First baptism of fire in the apartment.

From the moment I turned away from this exercise, I turned to one of the greatest tasks in my life until that time, completing a scientific research project, and writing an article on the subject. It turned out that the apartment had just arrived on time. With all the other learning tasks behind me, and all that was required of me was an intense session with myself, I could not ask for better than a personal and quiet space. I would return from work at 8, and continue to sit on the project until 1-2, always with more inner energy, thinking it was really a "last straw." After a Saturday or two I returned home, and I already had a source of comparison, I realized that my output in the trailer was greater than at home, where I was always the middleman, the beloved son, the tolerant brother, and the helping son. I made halves and worked like crazy, sometimes 14 hours a day, getting up in the morning, eating fast, and working till night. As in any new environment to which I landed, I also had to explore the surroundings of the moshav. I quickly realized that there was not much here but two small streets with lots of hostile dogs. When I recall this period, I'm mostly reminded of the race against time, how I used my computer's enormous processing power, the decentralized powers of university computers, and the resources of work to meet the goal. I have never been more efficient in terms of productivity than I was at that time.

Accompanied by guilt feelings that the boss had planted in me, I paid my full attention to the work. I worked five days a week, full of overtime, and if it was not a month of holidays pretty close I would have ended completely. Apart from work, the completion of the project also brought with him a burst of energy and vitality, and I worked all the time adding things in life like furniture in the new apartment, and the return to life of old connections. I dealt with many things, and mainly felt a bit of my life, after a long time I felt that the tasks that I do are the means and not the goal, and it is difficult to hold out so long. Although the food you can buy in the work area is quite lucrative, I started trying to cook things with the little I had (medium pan and pot), mainly to gain experience in cooking, and less for saving money. For me it is out of the question to even live in an infusion of supplies from parents. They did their thing and raised me, now it's my turn to be alone.

After a relatively short period of intensive work, I realized that man can not exist on bread alone, also need a spirit in life. With some of my work being considered "high-tech," I did not feel that I was learning "high quality" things at all, only specific techniques for the specific work I was required to produce. Some people move from one framework to another and always need someone to tell them what to do. So in my case all my life I have always been in a regime of learning, and when I was not, I felt my life energy was very low, I really needed to learn to feel alive. I did not need much thought to think about what I had to do in order not to be enslaved to work completely, I decided to go back to German!

In order to return to the high level German studies I had attended, it took me two weeks to prepare for the group test. I do not remember much from this early October period. Things are going on in May. There's more time to go out with the friends I've neglected, the apartment fills up with furniture slowly. There is already a prototype of a schnitzel that looks good. Even the luck with the girls begins to change (but only a little). Violet, the first girl I've had anything with for a very long time. Although it is "dry and bad" (like the Facebook group), it is still good to remember that there is "there" something that lives. Needless to say, I did not want to see her again for the second time, with the way the first took place, but it was certainly a refreshing reminder. Thursday evening, after work until 10 PM, on the traditional beach, until early in the morning. A tremendous potential, but at the end of the day only nerves.

, A nearby moshav that is not much more interesting, and a mixed, neglected city close by ..

Well, it's been two months since I moved into the new apartment, and I have not continued to write about last year, nor will I continue. The past has passed, and there is no need to commemorate every minute of it. Everything that has already been documented will remain, and everything else, will remain in my heart, or pieces of insights.