Not Feeling 49

I'm just not feeling it man. Forty Nine is a strange number. 4+9=13 the number of death in most tarot decks :( The last number before 50 and today, my 49th year of life. It's my birthday, and frankly I'm not feeling my age either. Forty nine now puts me 1 year away from being half a century old.

I have now lived through five decades. Born in the late sixties, slight memories of the seventies, a byproduct of the eighties, a devout raver of the nineties, and not really getting the new millennium. I had such high hopes for the year 2000, it seemed like technology would change everything. It has in many ways, but many outside influences have shaped our world in ways I never expected pre 2001.

I remember the hippies in the park growing up as a child. My aunt sneaking me into the disco at the corner of my grandmothers street in the 70's. Roller disco, and death to disco t-shirts at the end of an era. I spent my teen years in the 80's slam dancing and moshing at punk rock and heavy metal concerts. By the mid nineties I was lost in rave culture touring the country going to music festivals, gobbling up hundreds of tabs of LSD & ecstasy and seeing much of North America through bloodshot eyes and a psychedelic dream like state of euphoria.

I can honestly look back and say I lived life to the fullest in my youth. I experienced so much, met so many interesting people and for the most part took the road less traveled and experienced life in ways many people may not even be able to comprehend.

I welcomed the new millennium with an enthusiastic embrace . It started out with a bang, traveling the west coast, living in Las Vegas. More music festivals, and a blur of night club parties always surrounded by great music and beautiful people. For me however, everything seemed to change after September 11th. In my eyes, the country changed and as far as I can tell it may never be the same.

The last 16 years have been bizarre to say the least. I won't go off on a political tirade, but politics and technology have changed everything. On the political front, mostly for the worse, and on the technological front, some good, others not so much.

There's really not a huge point to this post. I'm turning 50 in another year and just feeling reminiscent of years past. One things for sure, The Dood's not getting any younger. Looking into the future I have one last chance, for one last hurrah. Although I don't feel 49 my body constantly reminds me that I'm getting older. A receding hair line peppered with various shades of gray. Mild back pain, body aches, and the occasional ache of arthritis constantly reminds me that time waits for no man. Many of you know that I've been planning a cross country trip on motorcycle. Something I've wanted to do since my teenage years. Finally just before my fiftieth birthday, if the Gods smile upon me one last time I may fulfill that dream. The reality of the situation is that if I don't do this now, I may not have the strength, stamina or health to complete this trip in my mid fifties or early sixties.

My only goal before I turn 50 is for one last cross country trek. This time on motorcycle. I haven't seen much of middle America and look forward to traveling the country and experiencing the thrills of travel through much more sober eyes LOL. Realizing that I'll soon be fifty is a rather strange feeling, and for whatever reason I just feel I need this one last hurrah before I step into my fifties and get ready to embrace old age. LOL.