I hugged a Vicar and I liked it.

in #thoughts5 years ago (edited)

This is of course the title of Katy Perry's much lesser known song.

When I boarded the train today it was surprisingly full but that doesn't really matter because, the tickets come with a seat number. However, when I arrived at my seat which I had chosen because it had a table and room to work, there was an older couple sitting holding hands there and as tempted as I was to kick them out and teach them some manners, a seat behind my intended was free, except for a laptop bag sitting there, which a smiling woman happily moved.

I thanked her and sat down beside her where she was already working, MacBook open. Great, time to get some writing in before my travels for the next three days begin. But, I made the mistake of saying hi and asking where she was coming from and when she asked what I was doing where I was and what I did, I returned the question and she told me she was a newly ordained Vicar.

Interesting. We talked instead of burying ourselves into the screens.

It is not rare to have female vicars in Finland but even now it is quite controversial and she was saying that in her area, she is the only one around the parts. We talked about all manner of things and a lot about relationships and children, parenting, aged care and of course, the existence/ non-existence of God, the legitimacy of scripture, the incorrectness of doctrine, charity and guilt, selfless acts, homosexuality, the limitation and traditional mentality of many church groups and of course, Tinder.

The funny thing is that it wasn't me who brought up most of these conversations, it was her and who wanted to discuss them and her who wanted to question them in various ways. She recognized early on that the discussion was going to be interesting enough for her also and, that she was going to have a few things to look into later, things she actually noted down both verbally and on paper.

She was a doctoral researcher at some point and was saying how much she loved the tasks but, she tended to get lost in them and realized it was unhealthy for her mental state but, the taking of notes and researching points of interest deeply stuck with her regardless.

I have had the chance to talk to a few priests in Finland and strangely, 75% of them have been women but the numbers are more like 1:5. What I have found is that in general, the religious types in Finland (and likely the Nordics as a whole) are generally more pragmatic about their faith than most however, the Finnish culture of organised governments for everything pushes heavily into the church area also. This makes the church quite slow to move, which doesn't really surprise anyone I am sure.

What I have found when it comes to the female priests is that they are much more open to the discussion and much more likely to question their own position in relation to what they hear. Tonight, she wasn't shy to say if she had another view but, she did take the time to consider my own views and of course, I took the time to consider hers, even though many of them are similar to what I have heard before. It is always good to check alternate points of information to see what holds value in there.

A couple of times during the conversation, she even lowered her voice when speaking things and said similar to, Most people in the church will disagree with me but... concerning her much more liberal views on various "rules" that have been pushed regardless of their relevance and contentious points in the Bible when it comes to what is said and the alternatives of what it could mean.

It was a very surprising discussion in many ways and I am glad that I spent my time with her instead of writing on Steem (weirdness) as the discussion jumped, slid and crossed allover the place which is, my kind of conversation style. The journey was only 1.5 hours for me and she was going on for another couple ahead so as we approached the station I'd disembark at, I said my goodbyes and thanked her for the discussion.

Finns in general aren't the most social or touchy-feely people in the world but, then I hugged her. I think she was surprised by this but she recovered quickly enough that most wouldn't notice. For me, it seemed like the most appropriate end to our discussion, even though I do not know her name and she does not know mine.

In my world, conversations like that make any day better, no matter what has happened earlier or, what has to happen after. What has to happen now though is I have to get to pack and get to bed because I will be up again in five hours or so and have a lot of travelling to do before the work begins.

I think I lost my Vicar-hugging virginity tonight. Score.

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]

I think I will be mobile only and pressed for time the next few days so, let's see what kinds of space I can get to post but, once a day at least ;)

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Never had you down for the talkative kind lol. Just kidding I am sure you could talk the hind legs of a donkey. Decent conversations are rare anywhere today as people just keep to themselves and don't even make eye contact. The last time I did it I regretted it as it was a 10 hour flight and the person was as boring as hell. Hit and miss I suppose and you got lucky. Maybe you are blessed now after the hug.

Definitely hit and miss when finding interesting conversations these days but a boring conversation still has its value.

Hug blessings :)

I have had the chance to talk to a few priests in Finland

I know everyone's like wtf over the title, but I think this one here is a really weird sentence as well :)))

Okay, my opinion of you has just changed...and I don't know if for the better :))

:)
I have also talked to a few drug addicts, a few refugees, a few prime ministers... It is good to talk :P

Oh my, this gets worse by the second :))

So - I didn't know what a Vicar was. Then I looked it up and realized even I know a Finnish Female Vicar. That's how many there are! :D

But seriously, she was an amazing woman I met in her church where I did a photo report on the Nordic Churches in my city. We have a few of those since Rotterdam is a harbour city, and these Nordic churches used to settle in harbour cities so they could welcome 'their' people from far and long travels with a relaxed ride home, a newspaper for while they were being driven home in the back of a car, and, of course, in the Finnish Church there was a sauna. (A sauna my - then - boss would go to once a week because she was Finnish too and she would go to her church just for the sauna :'))

I too was surprized by her open-mindedness (I took her for a tour around my city, as she had been in Rotterdam for 2 years but hadn't seen anything yet due to her workload) and the ease with which I could have interesting exchanges with her - different from the dogmatic discussion I've experienced with 'some' religious people in the past. It most of all showed me how the church can serve as a real 'beacon' in the world, where people lost from home can meet up and have some conversations and comfort. It's the first kind of church I have ever liked :-)

Glad you hugged her, the world needs more hugging!

(A sauna my - then - boss would go to once a week because she was Finnish too and she would go to her church just for the sauna :'))

The practical religion of Finns :D

different from the dogmatic discussion I've experienced with 'some' religious people in the past.

THere are those too and the conversation is very different.

It's the first kind of church I have ever liked :-)

I openly told her I don't like organised religion like this because it is unnecessary for an individual. Maybe it helps some people, I don't need it.

The Australian prelate, Cardinal George Pell, was recently convicted and incarcerated in prison for 6 years for child sex abuse...Interesting what priorities different members of the church have when their faith is concerned.

It sounds like your travelling Vicar is one of the good ones?

Sounds like that conversation was way more productive overall than 90 minutes of steeming.

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Lutheran (at least in Finland) means these people are allowed to get married, have families, live life... The nonsense that is Catholic is far from here. I am not a fan of any religion however.

Lol shame you guys didn't exchange contacts

Yeah, it didn't even occur to me at the time :D

I miss using public transportation for these opportunities and is probably why I have grown more anti social out in public. Always great to meet new people and see perspectives!

Posted using Partiko iOS

I think it is easy to forget how to have a conversation these days as it is always possible not to by hiding behind the screen.

Let us know when you visit Vienna:

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I will let you know if I get a chance again. I was there a couple weeks ago but it was such a hectic schedule I didn't let anyone know :)

Best Title this week :D

Likely far more value to both then an hour or so in front of the screen, and some original content to boot.

Safe travels. And for those reading from Sweden, free hugs available tomorrow.

I am trying to improve the titles to make them more illustrative of the content ;D

Yes, Free hugs in Sweden for the rest of the week:

LOL

And people still ask me why I left the UK.... OK that wasn't the main reason but ffs.

I think you have a free-pass to hug vicars, not sure about the contents of the VIP lounge of a club in Stockholm!

I am heading up north so unfortunately, no Stockholm clubs for me - Oh --- I am married...

!engage

(Testing :) )

!engage

Well now you not only got a great conversation but also yet another topic to write on steem about ;D

Topics are everywhere, which in itself is a topic to wríte about. I am lucky because I get to talk to so many varied people through work and travel that so many interesting things come up.

It's interesting to talk to people who are open minded and with a different point of view. I'm finding myself becoming more open minded, because A I don't know nearly as much as I thought I did about things I disagree with and B its a great way to open yourself up to new perspectives that even if you don't agree with you at least have a better understanding of.

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