Ok so I just came here from your other post. It's getting harder to get noticed on Steemit as more people sign up so it will probably be more about just connecting with others through comments and conversation or getting one or two posts to take off to get attention. (Note: The conversations here aren't as robust as they could be because there aren't as much direct incentives to comment as there are for posting or voting). Steemit payouts may exacerbate this feeling because of the whale effect and the Zipfs law algorithm that heavily weights a small percentage of posts.
In any case on to more of your experience, psychology and question. It's interesting. I may have experienced some of what you have so I'm sure it happens to everyone, but I do agree your situation is a bit extreme. It's probably a combination of factors.
You may be falling into bad crowds especially if you're being accused of things you haven't done.
I think facial features can have an effect because people remember unusual features and that helps the memory. Cindy Crawford's mole is an extreme example, but some people have more distinct features than others. People dye their hair and a lot about fashion is about standing out.
Yes your temperament is probably a big factor. Maybe psychologically you don't want to stand out as you wrote about before. You want to blend in, but blending in also means not being noticed. It's part of being an introvert and I actually feel better not being noticed most of the time, but I do agree it is hurtful if people you expect to remember you don't. It's natural people remember the extroverts and the ones that want attention.
When I was younger I would fear getting noticed. Getting called on in class was dreadful. These days I'm too old to care and from a business standpoint it's detrimental so I have to network, get noticed and learn about marketing etc. Marketing and branding is mainly about standing out. Crazy fashions. Crazy stunts.
In any case if you are comfortable you could try purposefully to stand out a little bit more in a way that represents you better. I also think maybe a bit of a shift in attitude could help. Maybe competitive actions are not as harmful to others as you might think and will just help you engage more with others as individuals. You can take another perspective about a sports competition. To some it's about ego and a great desire for accomplishment. To others competition helps individuals keep improving their craft and get better individually. Competitors can help each other in many ways. A sports competition is not the be all end all of life and any experience, win or loss can help people be better in other facets of their lives.
Anyways... hope that helps.
@steemrollin I always appreciate your thoughtful comments, and I thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. I've actually followed your example and leave heartfelt comments whenever I can. Apart from not being noticed on Steemit, I've mostly experienced this for all of my life.
With regard to bad crowds, I attribute it mainly to that projection thing I mentioned. It's not that they're "bad", it's just that they project the negative aspects of their personalities, unfortunately, to me. It's cool. I mean, it's sad most of the time, as I'm in the outs of many groups most of the time, but that's just the cards I'm dealt with. I just want to know why in the most scientific way possible.
I guess in terms of physical appearance, I'm on the upper echelon of the bell curve. Which is not entirely a good thing. But hey, at least I have a future in espionage or at the very least a security auditor gig. With my unremarkable face, I could waltz in and out of buildings without anyone noticing.
With regard to being an introvert, now that I think about it, you're probably right. Since we're more introspective about stuff, we think--or in my case, overthink--about stuff more than others. It's not that I purposefully blend in to hide from a crowd, it's just that I don't purposefully seek attention like most people. I do what I do, and that leaves an immediate mark, although it doesn't last very long. In my mind it does, but others don't share that sentiment.
Man, I feel you, with regard to the fear of getting noticed when I was younger. I felt exactly the same way. I've been trying to purposefully stand out ever since I joined social media. I guess mainly it's due to making up for lost time. I've been engaging with more people, creating publicity stunts that hopefully pique interest but I've been having the most terrible luck. Those who do notice compliment its creativity, but sadly it's not being noticed by a wide variety of people.
Noted, regarding competitions. The post I've put up before was just a differing perspective, but I do appreciate the positive effects that competitions bring. Even I lean towards the "improving my craft" side whenever I compete. Extroversion and competition rule the world, so it's definitely hard not to get entangled with those concepts. Even if it's not in my nature, I try to branch out as much as I can.
This helps a lot, and again I just want to thank you for your time. Even if it's just one comment, it really has the weight of 10.
No problem. Yeah it does seem you're aware of most of the various factors. Yeah I think it's great that you're making a concerted effort to be more social. Persistence, experience and time will help. Good luck!
Thanks, man. Your words are very encouraging. If only your approach to inclusion permeated throughout the community, then Steemit would be a more interactive place. One day I just woke up and realized that I should be changing with the times, so I decided to break out of my shell and socialize. I'll try to keep on pounding the rock as much as I can! Thanks!