Towards an additional commitment

One day I sat quietly in the living room and looked around. Since I'm on a certain TV diet, instead of watching TV, I just lay down to rest in the living room and looked at everything around.

I had a lot of criticism. On the pictures, they should look different. On the pot. On the whole look of the living room. Our living room is not decent enough, it reminds too many students. He is not well groomed.

Leave it, another voice came to me. It's OK. You're just critical of yourself.

I kept thinking. I tried to focus on the things I loved in the living room. In the gray armchair we just bought. Yes, she is beautiful to me. I liked another gray chair too. My bag, with blue decorations on a white background, was beautiful to me. Beauty, there are also some objects in the living room that I love. It's already good.

I kept thinking other thoughts, but about three hours after that glare in the living room of the house, I made a decision:

Once a month I will make one change in the living room. Once a month it is not too much. Changing one is not too much for me.

I was happy. True, another commitment, but it does not sound too hard to me.

I already knew what the first thing would be:

I'll change the photo frames that hang in a corner on the wall. Acne frames uniformity. I saw that this is how they do in design houses, through photographs. And it seems that I have a need to change the living room, to design the house beautifully. After all, I would not just look in amazement at the APARTMENTHERAPY site at Instagram. How beautiful I see in the pictures that are uploaded there, pictures of rooms designed from all over the world (here, I gave you a tip for an interesting subscriber to follow).

Do I commit myself to too many commitments?

At the moment, I do not think so. I remember Martin Seligman, a well-known psychology professor who had previously studied the issue of helplessness through dogs that gave them stimuli without being able to respond. These were famous experiments he did in the 1960s. Seligman is one of the leading researchers of positive psychology in the 1990s. In his book "True Happiness" he has noble qualities such as heroism, courage and more, which were considered by many traditions to be superior, and according to his understanding they also contribute to human happiness. These qualities are not the attributes of the id, that is, the part of the self that enables us to realize our impulses. These qualities encourage the overcoming of instinct, we say that they encourage the suprago, that is, the part of the personality that sets limits and contains our ideals.

Does Western culture too much encourage the qualities of id, which tells us, "Allow yourself, give up, express yourself, indulge yourself"? Maybe. But Western culture is also undergoing changes.

Haim Omer's books, for example, are an example of this change. One of them is, for example, a book called "The Restoration of Parental Authority." In this book Omar comes out against the understanding and empathy that is required of the parents of our generation towards their children. He is encouraged, like the book, to develop parental authority, to develop children's boundaries, to restrain passions and to demand demands from children.

Studies also show that children who take tasks in their childhood will later develop into more successful children - they are in the same intellectual direction of encouraging suprago.

Well, and after a little bit of thinking about the origins of my commitments, I feel just enthusiasm.

Enthusiasm so that I will gradually take care of the living room. Enthusiasm even from the thought, where do I find these really small frames I want?

And these plans, these fantasies about what I grow in the living room are pleasant to me. Do not forget, pleasant fantasies improve life. According to Prof. Kreitler, they also improve health.

Well, and that brings me back to you and me. When I write you my thoughts, attempts. A little revealing, a little afraid of exposure. But tell myself I did not reveal anything I would tell my patients.

So what have we had until now?

A new blog.

Thoughts of another commitment, which in the meantime is a good feeling. But not pressure (I am aware of the possibility that they may also cause pressure, if there is too much load of tasks).

So I'll stop here, probably. Why burden you with reading?

It was interesting for me to write. Hope you had an interesting reading.

Do you also want to commit to something?

Why not. Just do not overdo it (here, now trying to curb your suprago ...). Do not build too difficult plans. Something minimal, not stressful. Something that could be enlarged, and it would be possible to make do with it, and it would be all right.

See you here, and thank you, if you came here. Or if you even skipped here from the start, it's okay. Feel comfortable.

As Meir Wieseltier writes: "Take books and do not read ..." (Quote more precisely).

Read the section as you wish. It helps to read, in my opinion. The fact that we allow ourselves to start from the end, jump to the beginning, and settle for it. Or yes to read at the end of everything? As long as you read something.

Goodbye!