RE: What If? - Day 70 - Daily Haiku
I think much of the world has become closed off and cynical in their thinking of the opposite gender based on a few bad experiences. It's easy to say all men are this or all women are that but reality is, our experiences shape us and our thinking but it certainly isn't fair to paint everyone with the same brush. We are all individuals after all.
I was always under the thinking of " be what you want to attract" and like you said treat people how you want to be treated, it has a minor flaw tho, not everybody wants to be treated the same, we all have our different expectations. One thing in the world that I notice is sideways, many people seem to act how they think society as a whole expects them to act or see life and leads to inauthentic behaviors, resentment and poor self image. Being ourselves and being with someone where we can be ourselves is a gift. There are many what ifs in life, just gotta live in the moment as these perceptions change overtime and it's just healthy to challenge our own thinking and beliefs to stay current with ourselves and each other.
I'm fortunate to have a significant other like you have that "gets me" even if I'm being silly or just thinking about off that wall topics or the different "what if's " in life no mater how crazy it sounds. It's a gift to be able to share our authentic self with someone else without fear of judgement.
Absolutely true, and far too often difficult to find.
I've always been lucky in having close friends with whom I could be myself, but my former spouse started trying to change me pretty much as soon as the ring was on my finger, even though it was never going to work, and he would have hated it if it had. Sigh.
When people have asked me for the "secret" as to why our relationship is so good, it is quite simple, because we accept each other for who we are. No game playing, and if a problem arises, which is fairly rare, we talk it through. We've had maybe half a dozen "fights," if that, in the 11 1/2years we've been together, and those have been minor.
Finding someone who "gets you" is worth its weight in gold.
My parents always had a rule in our house that we were to take people as they presented themselves, to do our best not to judge, and to assume the best about them. And that has stood me in good stead over the years.
There is a quote by Woodrow Wilson that I used to love, though recently I haven't been able to find it anywhere. But in essence, he said that to approach someone from a position of friendship and trust, is to approach from a position of strength; whereas to approach with fear and distrust, is to approach from a position of weakness. I so agree.
I so agree with with the last section( well all of your statement) It's how I always live by, true wisdom . Start on mutual trust and respect and things go a long way when it's right. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty and actions speak louder than words. There was a time when I used to be really closed off and I gotta say, it just keeps good opportunities away.
I don't change for anybody and don't expect anyone to change for me. I had a boyfriend that tried to change me and after a while I just got sick of it. I'm stubborn , can't do it! The behavior you allow is how you always get treated, I learned that pretty quick. A good relationship is almost effortless.
Yeah the way I look at it is, if you only love me if I change for you, then you don't really love me in the first place. Not how they see it, but I don't care.
I choose to be me, and if they don't like it, find someone else. ;-)